Tobson's Big ESC 2019 review, part 5

What is the only thing that could be better than a semi final? Two semi finals, of course. The new semi proved a success in many ways but it soon became crowded and making your way through to the final became almost impossible.

The 2007 semi final in Helsinki stands out as a real televisual nightmare, a show that never ends and when it finally does it is with a result unlikely to make anyone happy. Meanwhile ten countries were pre-qualified with no sort of quality control what-so-ever. Had the two semi finals system been introduced already in 2007, the EBU would have saved themselves a fair share of viewer outrage and Andorra would have made it to the final.

Apart from Andorra's injustice, it seems the semi final system finally landed with the viewers once the semi was split in two. Suddenly the viewers started engaging with the new formula and the semi final results  seem to have become less arbitrary since 2008.

If you want more of my reviews you will find them in part one, two, three and four.


07 DENMARK
Leonora / Love Is Forever

Songwriter Lise Cabble represented Denmark three times before. Not only has she got a victory under her belt, she never placed lower than 5th. This time she has brought along Anna Rossinelli's formerly unknown Danish cousin, a former figure skater, equipped with a pleasant and happy little ditty. In our troubled times, few lines will sit worse than "Don't get too political" but possibly Europe will be in a good enough mood to overlook that.

Qualifier:
You never know for sure, but Denmark is good at charming its way into the final. My bet is that the trick will work again but you can not be too sure. Anyway Lise Cabble is most probably set for landing outside the top five for the first time.

My grade: 3/5


08 SWEDEN
John Lundvik / Too Late For Love

Once Melodifestivalen was over, I was ready to bet everything I own that Sweden would win in Tel Aviv, secure a seventh win and bumble their way onto the top of the winner table alongside Ireland. Maybe I am not as sure anymore but this is a compelling piece of gospel flavoured pop - a better performed version of Austria 2018 if you so wish - with a chorus you can easily hold on to on a first listening. This is the song most people can like at least a bit and that can carry very far, not least with the jurors.

Qualifier:
Yes, beyond the shadow of a doubt. Perhaps not as obvious a winner as I thought at first but clearly one of perhaps four really strong contenders for victory.

My grade: 5/5


09 AUSTRIA
Paenda / Limits

In general, Austria have done most things right ever since selecting Conchita - what's an embarrassing nul pointer on home ground between friends? - and has provided an interesting range of entries lately. Last year they won the jury voting in the grand final. I wish I could say that success will stay with the Austrians as I really like Paenda and her low-intense presence and personable sound. Unfortunately her entry takes forever to develop into anything and when it finally does it is most probably too little and too late for most.

Qualifier:
No. It would be a big surprise (positive, but still) if Austria would hop out of an envelope this time around.

My grade: 2/5


10 CROATIA
Roko / The Dream

Jacques Houdek is back in town after his low-key, toned-down and quietly tasteful entry of 2017 where he sang a duet with *checks notes* himself. As you do. Now he is the songwriter as well as the artistic coach for young Roko. The boy can certainly sing but is he too polite and unremarkable to fill this bombastic belter with the drama needed?

Qualifier:
Borderline. I doubt this Jacques Houdek tribute act will stand out enough to make a mark, unless the same rainbows and unicorns used in Kyiv are unleashed again.

My grade: 1/5


11 MALTA
Michela / Chameleon

Another one of those nifty and updated pop songs that clearly picked up a thing or two from Eleni Foureira last year. After Cyprus and Switzerland, Malta remains a bit of a question mark. This clearly is a good number - catchy and personable and not too obvious. But will it gel with young Michela? Will they be able to pull this off on stage? And the more I hear it, the more I realise that this is a pile of bits and pieces that don't really fall into any sort of coherent song in the end.

Qualifier:
Yes, I think it is. Hardly a contender for a top ten placing, but Malta will be happy just to qualify. It's been too long.

My grade: 3/5


12 LITHUANIA
Jurijus / Run With The Lions

Lithuania is always a tricky one to predict. My rule of thumb has often been that if I like their entry, they will fail. And when it is dull or bad, it will qualify with ease. That should be very good news to Jurijus, who was one of the kissing backing singers in Vienna 2015, who isn't really doing anything wrong. Unfortunately the song he's been set up with is a really lean effort, another of these songs that could be washed ashore at almost any national final after being rejected elsewhere. Pleasant for as long as it goes on, then instantly forgotten.

Qualifier:
No. How snoozy can you get before Europe votes you out? Jurijus is about to find out.

My grade: 1/5


If you want to agree or disagree with me, please leave a comment or send me a tweet. All the preview clips can be seen here.

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Tobson's Big ESC 2018 review, part 2

There is always something to be unhappy about. The fans are in general not fond of the fact that the running order is sequenced by a producer instead of the result of a draw. They would want things to be more random.

However, as the songs were revealed for this year's contest it turned out the first semi seemed way stronger in most people's minds compared to the second semi. This was seen as deeply unfair. Maybe people would want the draw of the semis to be less... random.

This is just the way it happens. It should be no job of a producer to decide what is good and what is bad in order to create a balance between semis. We just have to live with it, I suppose. And these are the final nine songs of the first, stronger semi.

11. FYR MACEDONIA
Eye Cue / Lost And Found

An ambitious entry co-signed by one of the country's most prolific hitmakers - a daring mix of different styles and tempi and sounds all joined together in a three-minute experiment. Would deserve a spot in the final not least because of its sheer nerve and its bravery but that is not how it works.

Qualifier:
No. There are bit too many sudden turns in this entry and the televoters will lose interest before they realise what an interesting piece of music this is.

My grade: 3/5

12. CROATIA
Franka / Crazy

Croatia did pretty well since their comeback two years ago but still nowhere near living up to their potential. This year they internally selected a real pop starlet who revitalised her own career lately. Her entry falls into the popular "Could have been a Bond track"-category and this is a classy piece of craft. Only not engaging enough to break through.

Qualifier:
No. In the second semi it would have qualified but while the song sounds good - and Franka is a solid performer - it lacks that last piece of sparkle needed to turn it into a vote magnet.

My grade: 3/5

13. AUSTRIA
Cesár Sampson / Nobody But You

This one puzzles me as it is quite highly rated by fans. I tend to like Austria way more than most and defend their songs to the bitter end. All I see and hear this year is a decent but pretty anonymous attempt at gospel, performed by somebody who is not exactly burning through the screen.

Qualifier:
No. I don't think it will be enough when placed against a whole bunch of stronger contenders in this semi.

My grade: 1/5

14. GREECE
Yianna Terzi / Oneiro mou

I must applaud Greece for going back to their roots. I love the sound of this as well as the general atmosphere in this entry. Yianna has an enchanting voice and presence and the whole thing brings in an air of older traditional Greek pop that I loved in my youth. I should love this to bits and yet I am not blown away. I don't know what is missing but if I don't get blown away by this, how could I expect anyone else to be?

Qualifier:
Borderline. It will depend very much on the staging but I'm afraid this could turn out to be a flop in the voting.

My grade: 2/5

15. FINLAND
Saara Aalto / Monsters

Some of my initial doubts have blown away. Not all of them, mind you. I still fear some decisions taken concerning styling and choreography and I still doubt Saara's ability to keep her calm when it matters the most. However, this entry is very much helped by its spot in the running order.

Qualifier:
Yes. This is the right song at the right time. Catchy, contemporary and with the right sort of climax.

My grade: 4/5

16. ARMENIA
Sevak Khanagyan / Qami

Another piece of carefully written etno performed in the country's own language. Well sung and with a nice climax towards the end but still lacking something to make it dramatic enough. Having Greece coming so close before it could also be a really bad thing for the Armenians.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Probably yes - Armenia is good at making its way into the final - but it is far from sure. It would be pretty interesting if both Armenia and Azerbaijan would miss the final the same year. Is that when time breaks and the universe melts?

My grade: 2/5

17. SWITZERLAND
Zibbz / Stones

Switzerland never made a name for themselves as a European stronghold for rock music - maybe for a cause - but these siblings moved across the big blue water and made careers for themselves over there. They represent their own homeland with quite some gravity and energy. As a rock song, this is not half bad and far more engaging than any Swiss entry has been for many years.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Which is a good thing for Switzerland. On a good day, they could grab an 8th place and a spot in Saturday's line-up. But then they better not mess up live.

My grade: 3/5

18. IRELAND
Ryan O'Shaughnessy / Together

I saw the really cute video clip and fell headlong both for it and this melodic and uncomplicated little song. It was a nice gesture of the RTÉ to make a clip like this - it is not gay baiting when a straight performer decides to show an lgbt storyline in a clip, folks - and this is clearly the best Irish entry for year and years. And yet...

Qualifier:
Borderline. Probably no. In Lisbon, there will be no clip and everything comes down to how interesting you can make this look on stage. I would be very happy to be positively surprised here.

My grade: 4/5

19. CYPRUS
Eleni Foureira / Fuego

This is where my mixed emotions kick in. The final could definitely do with a commercial pop song like this, but doesn't it sound very much like a track Helena Paparizou would have left off her 2006 album or so? Slightly dated, slightly unsurprising. And how well can Eleni sell this on stage?

Qualifier:
Yes. The advantage of being the last song out will help. But we are hardly bound for Nicosia in 2019.

My grade: 3/5

Find part one of this review here.

Tobson takes a guess: semi 2 in Kyiv

Tuesday's prediction went far better than I would have expected, with the obvious exception of Finland. Instead of a rewarding top ten on Saturday, Norma John found themselves kicked out already before the party had taken off. But nine out of ten makes my prediction pretty good, I suppose.

If the first semi was hard to predict, then semi two is sheer madness. It is full of songs that are fairly similar and fairly equal in strength. Some good songs are taken down by disappointing performances, some mediocre songs are helped by good or at least overwhelming performances. If anyone gets ten countries right in their prediction, I hope they selected their lottery numbers at the same tine.

Again I try to follow the gut feeling and if it is of any use, the following eight will leave us tonight:


SAN MARINO
Goodbye and thank you, Valentina, but you wouldn't believe a song as crammed with key changes as this one could possibly be this static and empty and hopeless.


LITHUANIA
This year's most interesting failure that I in many ways find refreshing. They want so much and are so energetic and in the end of the day it comes to nothing as their chorus couldn't be helped even by a smaller miracle. Intriguing but chanceless.


SWITZERLAND
Personally I am rather fond of this chorus, but the delivery is far too polite and there is too little happening during these three minutes. Unless the juries shower it with love, nobody's going to remember it for long enough to vote for it.


NORWAY
I really warmed to this song myself - especially the quirky verses and the really nifty production details you only notice when listening to it in headphones - but in this tight competition their lack of visual presentation is going to cost them.


SERBIA
Performing first is no problem when you do your thing better than most others - like Sweden did on Tuesday. Serbia's song is nice and impeccably produced but also anonymous and stands out like a penguin surrounded by other penguins.


DENMARK
Will Sweden be the only Nordic country in the final for the second year in a row? Denmark's only hope is that Europe finds the Dutch entry to be too screechy and screamy and self-indulgent. Not impossible - it really is - and find Denmark the better version of the same thing. But I still fear the Danes are losing this battle.


AUSTRIA
Nathan Trent is arguably the most charming performer in this year's contest but the rather disappointing chorus is letting this song down. The question is if any cute staging or glittery moon can compensate for that, especially being sandwiched between two similar entries right at the beginning. I'm afraid not.


MALTA
I have warmed also to this, the most old-fashioned of old-fashioned ESC ballads. Maybe jury and televoters alike will be triggered by a wave of nostalgia and reward this one, but I wouldn't hold my breath for that to happen.


This mean that my ten qualifiers would be - in order of appearance - FYR Macedonia, Romania, Netherlands, Hungary, Ireland, Croatia, Belarus, Bulgaria, Estonia and Israel. This is my mind speaking, not my heart.

I think Croatia is a horrific pile of nonsense but it will stand out. Netherlands is three minutes of dull and soulless harmonising with no melody. Estonia could feel too cold and calculated, FYR Macedonia is only in because Europe managed to recognise Belgium had a great somg despite a shaky performance, Ireland is there because... well. He has a nice balloon.

The performance I am really looking forward to tonight is the happy Belarusians dancing on their boat as well as the terrific Kristian from Bulgaria. I think you will love them both.

Tobson's Big ESC 2017 Review, part 5

For the second year running we had a very late change in the lineup of the second semi. Last year Romania was kicked out due to a smaller mountain of unpaid bills. This year the EBU basically folded themselves double in order to keep Russia in the running, despite all sensible indications pointing towards them never fully intending to take part in Kyiv. For my review, I kept Russia in its place, just for comparison and to ponder what could have been.

01. SERBIA
Tijana Bogićević / In Too Deep

The second semi starts pretty much like the first semi ended: with a perfectly fine and perfectly contemporary pop number. It is slick, it sounds good, it is well sung - by one of Nina's crazy background singers from Düsseldorf 2011. It has pretty much everything anyone could ask for, except for any kind of profile or anything that would set it apart from anything else. Good and credible but too generic. Will need some really extraordinary and explosive staging in order to stand out.

Qualifier:

Borderline. There are so many of these radio-friendly, tailor-made for the commercial airwaves-type of songs in the lineup. Why would anyone remember this one in particular?

My grade: 3/5

Tijana Bogićević / In Too Deep (Serbia 2017 preview)

02. AUSTRIA

Nathan Trent / Running On Air

Ever since their last comeback in 2011 - and especially since Conchita's impressive victory - it seems like Austria would actually have a pop scene where quality stuff is being made. Quality stuff that could compete on an international level. Nathan Trent is surely the most charming male performer in the running but while his song sounds bang-up-to-date, it takes a disappointing turn in the chorus which is far from as strong as it should be.

Qualifier:

Borderline. Nathan will really need to knock Europe over in order to make up for the slightly weaker chorus. Far from impossible.

My grade: 3/5

Nathan Trent / Running On Air (Austria 2017 preview)

RUSSIA - not participating
Yulia Samoylova / Flame Is Burning

After many weeks of plot twists, Russian tv decided not to broadcast the 2017 ESC, rendering themselves ineligible for participation. This entry has been most revealing in many ways. It has showcased how naïve the EBU as well as many fans are in these times of information wars and propaganda machinery. It has also shown an alarming degree of ableism among ESC fans, quickly concluding how anyone confined to the use of a wheel chair could not possibly knowingly be part of a political scheme. Like Yulia was some poor vegetable, unable to understand the world around her. Instead of performing in Kyiv, she will headline a concert in Crimea on the day of the final. Oh well.

Would this have qualified?
Borderline. The song is really weak - as is the performance - and it's highly debatable whether it would have been enough. But that's also a highly hypothetical question. Russian tv never intended to compete with this entry. It was designed to be shark feed and nothing else.

My grade: 1/5



Yulia Samoylova / Flame Is Burning (Russia 2017 preview)

03. FYR MACEDONIA
Jana Burčeska / Dance Alone

After four consecutive semi final failures, FYR Macedonia has internally selected one of their best entries ever. Swedish Joacim Persson has co-written no fewer than three entries in this semi, which must be a record. What really set me on fire here was the fantastic video clip, which is captivating and heartbreakingly sad. If the same amount of emotion can be communicated in the live version, then this could be the republic's best showing to date. But on the other hand - no other country has been so consistently effective in ruining their songs on stage.

Qualifier:

Borderline. It all comes down to Jana's vocal performance and the staging of this number. Also, the single edit lacks some of the emotional depth of the version used in the video clip. But it is my own personal second favourite of the lot this year.

My grade: 4/5

Jana Burčeska / Dance Alone (FYR Macedonia 2017 preview)

04. MALTA

Claudia Faniello / Breathlessly

The Maltese clearly have determination. This is the kind of ballad they have failed with multiple times in the last ten years or so and yet they plunge headlong into competition with yet another version. Claudia tends to over perform more than a bit but is otherwise a good singer and through no fault of my own, this entry has grown on me. Just like Poland it has some really clunky and unfortunate lyrics here and there but the chorus is lush and luxurious. I fear it won't help much in the end.

Qualifier:

No. A better starting position could have helped but this one is very unlikely to pass. It's pleasant for as long as it goes on but will be forgotten as soon as it is over.

My grade: 2/5

Claudia Faniello / Breathlessly (Malta 2017 preview)

ESC 2016: And the winner is...

The running order for the grand final got to sink in during the day and tomorrow I will give my final word on how Saturday's show will end. Right now I have no idea. I doubt I will tomorrow either.

But I boiled the whole thing down to six countries that could win tomorrow. Six countries that I'd see as the only realistic contenders for victory. (And one potential super surprise in the making.)

But our winner tomorrow will be one of these:

RUSSIA
Ridiculous to say anything else than Russia being the big hot favourite, the most likely winner tomorrow. And yet my gut feeling tells me Russia is more likely to confirm their position as the new United Kingdom, aka the eternal runner-up. The show is impressive, but not outstanding. Sergey sings well but not perfectly. Critical judges should see through the technical trickery and identify that the song is good but not terrific. However, Russia winning would show once and for all that nobody is doomed on politics alone.

ITALY
I don't give up until I'm defeated. The best song in the running must have a chance of winning, even with a surprisingly bad spot in the running order. On the jury final the people who already liked the song loved Francesca's performance, the people who are not convinced thought it lacked something. Business as usual. If there is any point to having juries at all, they should recognise what a fantastic song this is and reward it heavily.

FRANCE
Not giving up on France either. If Amir turns on that charm he has stashed away somewhere he could collect an impressive number of televotes. It is not juries alone who decide the winner even if Europe will get the idea at first in the final.

UKRAINE
Smashing performance of a difficult but engaging song. It would hardly be the big summer hit of 2016 if it won but at least it would take the focus back to songs, performers and singing skills instead of projections and holograms.

AUSTRALIA
Another stunning vocal and a more hit friendly song. The only letdown is the ridiculous special effect during the second verse that only distracts and doesn't even properly work.

SWEDEN
The last time a country won on home ground was Ireland back in 1994. Wouldn't it be most fitting if Sweden repeated the feat and won their own competition at the same time as going into the lead of countries winning Eurovision?

AUSTRIA (Potential super surprise in the making)
Pink and fluffy and sweet, it dances in on stage not being anything else than what meets the eye. Old-fashioned, likeable, understandable. Normal, if I dare say so, coming after Georgia. It's unlikely but once in a blue moon the sky falls down on our heads.

Watch this space for a more detailed prediction tomorrow. Sleep well, if you can.

Semi 1: 12 Austria / Loin d'ici

I get the feeling that Austrians are reluctant to good ideas the first time they see them. They rejected Conchita Wurst the first time around and opted for a song that ended last in its semi instead. Last year they rejected Zoë and opted for a song that scored nul points in the final.

(They also rejected Trackshittaz the first time around but as that fact ruins my point I am going to ignore it for now.)

Maybe Zoë is not a new sensation on any kind of Conchita-scale but what I first considered to be a heart-warming personal favourite bound to stay in the semi has grown into a bit of a dark horse. Different, appealing and refreshing. Singing in French is also a nice touch.

Qualifier:
Hopefully. Possibly a bit too simple to break through to a televoting audience but Zoë would certainly deserve a spot in the final.

My grade: 4/5



Zoë / Loin d'ici (Austria 2016 preview clip)

Austria selects for Stockholm

Tonight Austria will select their entry for Stockholm. Funnily they retain the same selection modus that gave them a big fat zero on home ground last year - the first time in the history of the contest that the host country fails to score.

But then again, everyone can have a bit of bad luck. Last year's Austrian selection was fun to follow. Interesting artists, quite good songs. It is better to evaluate the actual show rather than the ensuing ESC result.

However, few countries have had so much bad luck through Eurovision history as Austria has. When selecting internally, ORF often came up with odd choices that were not in line with what people wanted to vote for. And most of the years they organised national finals, they also failed to pick the best candidate on offer.

Conchita Wurst was the rare bulls eye that broke through to people all over the continent and spoke to large audiences everywhere. Not sure a similar pearl in the making is hiding in tonight's final - I only heard the songs very quickly some time ago so I can't say for sure - but hopefully there will be a good enough winner for Austria to get through to the final and keep the national interest that suddenly seems to be there alive.

Personally I keep my fingers crossed for the lovely Zoë who had an excellent song last year (and should have won then) and who hopefully will get her revenge this time around.



Zoë - Loin d'ici (Austria national final 2016)

December 18: Gruppe Papageno

After scoring their best placing for many a good day in 1989, Austrian tv decided to work a bit harder on their Eurovision involvement and staged a televised national final for the first time since 1984.

If press exposure was what they were after, they got it as the eventual winner first collapsed on stage during the performance before getting itself disqualified a few days later.

It's a bit of a shame that this pre-selection has gone down in history as a bit of a mess due to these mishaps as the general line-up was quite strong. I don't mind the entry they sent off to Zagreb in the end, but Gruppe Papageno would have made a more interesting package.

This piece of Austropop must have made an impact on more people as me as it sometimes pops up on various hit samplers in Austria. Lead singer Stella Jones would later go on to represent Austria in Dublin in 1995 as well as doing backing vocals for George Nussbaumer a year later.

ORF kept the national final format also in 1991 when, unfortunately, most entries were highly mediocre and the winner landed Austria in last place with nul points.



Gruppe Papageno / Papagena (Austria NF 1990)

Victory for Sweden! (It's nice to be right)

I felt it in my bones ever since I heard the first snippet of "Heroes" in early spring - and now it happened. Måns Zelmerlöw wins the Eurovision Song Contest and Sweden grabs its 6th victory.

The voting was the most exciting for many years - even better than the one last year in Copenhagen. Tight and with many twists and turns until Sweden finally headed out ahead of the others.

My prediction from earlier today worked out quite well too. I had predicted Sweden, Italy and Belgium as the top three. Russia ended in second place and pushed the others down on step, but that's all.

Russian Polina Gagarina was really taken by the whole situation which resulted in a very emotional but not totally perfect performance. She deserved her second place, but I guess the EBU heaved a sigh of relief.

The big break of the night is the fourth place of lovely Loïc Nottet from Belgium. What a fantastic talent, what a star. If he lands on the right people who give him the right tools and enough space to grow, he will turn into something sensational.

I am also very happy for the success of Latvia, Estonia and Norway. Most deserved. I had hoped for more love for Slovenia, but you can't have it all.

Austria became the first host country in Eurovision history not to score a single point. I had predicted a possible triple nul-pointer - instead we had a double. Neither Austria nor Germany deserved it but didn't manage to sneak into any country's top ten. Some other countries got more anticipated support from neighbours and friends, while Germany and Austria seem to have none.

The sea of ballads in the last half really took its toll on quite a few contestants. Out of the last thirteen songs, only Italy, Latvia and Russia managed to distinguish themselves, while everyone else failed.

More analysis tomorrow, these were just a few thoughts at once. I'll go to bed very happy and content and think to myself that it's nice to be right.

Lena and the attitude

I surfed onto German site Queer.de the other day to read their review of Conchita's new album. I've been looking forward to Conchita making more music and was curious to see how it landed with the critics.

They liked it quite a lot and I had a listen to a few tracks and decided I have to listen in full some day.

Then I couldn't help but see that they also reviewed the new album by Lena Meyer-Landrut, so I decided to have a peek at that as well. Only it wasn't much of a review, more like a big plea for Lena to give up on music altogether and do something more useful with her time.

I haven't heard her new album, I must admit as much. Maybe it is disappointing. I've liked Lena's later output in general but that's really beside the point.

I doubt the reviewer would have taken that kind of attitude towards a singer that hadn't won the ESC. I know nothing of this reviewer - this is not aimed against him or that particular review - but often winning the ESC means the press will be nice with you for a while and then tear you down.

I suppose many winners would agree that at some point in their career, people seem to have held their victories against them. Like their victories would diminish their work, somehow. Conchita is everyone's darling now, but what will it be like in a few years?

Björn Ulvaeus of Abba has said in many interviews that the Eurovision victory was a door opener at first but soon made people assume they would fade away, since that was what ESC winners were supposed to do.

Personally I love Lena. Both her entries are among my favourites of recent years - especially "Taken By A Stranger" is a masterpiece - and I hope she'll stay in the business for as long as she pleases. Regardless of what reviewers and others might say.



Lena - Taken By A Stranger (Germany 2011 preview)

Finalist: Austria

Ever since I started watching other countries national finals regularly in the late 1990's, I have longed for Austria to win and for ORF to finally get to host the event.

Add to that my fondness for Austrian entries through the years - I often enjoyed many of those odd numbers that were consistently ignored by juries and televoters alike. I also believe it is good when generally unsuccessful countries get to win. (Come on, Portugal!)

The best thing - besides Conchita's tremendous breakthrough of course - is that the Austrian national final seems to have been injected with some new life force and vitality. There were several entries there that could have represented Austria gracefully on home ground.

The winner wasn't even my favourite, but singled out like this it feels like a solid and well performed little soul ballad. Clean-cut and enjoyable, encumbered only by the fact that there are already a million songs in the world that sound exactly like this.

It will prove to be an oasis for the viewers who like soul, though. And given by the abundance of this type of music on the radio, they could be quite a few.

A potential winner?
Most probably not. A solid song with a solid performance but hardly exciting enough to capture enough attention to win. But if it gets surrounded by the right kind of songs, it could at least have a shot at making the top ten.

My grade: 3/5



The Makemakes - I Am Yours (Austria 2015)

Drama Made in Austria

I just couldn't leave this gem untold - the Das Beste Story really deserves a blog post of it's own. For the first time in six years, ORF decided to stage a national final to find their eurovision entry and "Ein Lied für Zagreb" wasn't a bad final at all.

There were many good songs and the show itself was pretty slick. Lizzi Engstler - who had previously sung for Austria as one half of the duo Mess back in 1982 - was chosen to host and did it in a slightly forced but mighty jaunty way.

Lizzi would get to work hard for the money before the show was over - when song eight entered the stage it was the start of a drama that would tickle the Austrian imagination for days. The duet fittingly called Duett only made it halfway through the song before Monika, the female singer, suddenly falls over and faints on live television.



Duett - Das Beste (Austria NF 1990)

When you are aware that she's not hurt, the ensuing studio chaos is most entertaining to watch. Dear Lizzie isn't quite sure of how to proceed - or indeed how to kill time - and starts rambling on about how much Monika had looked forward to this evening and - with the biggest smile - tells the audience how the singer had lost 20 kilos prior to the final and how that possibly could be the cause of her fainting. Empathy, anyone?

Soon enough Monika recovered, Duett got to perform a second time and "Das Beste" won a clear victory. Right after the show, people started voicing their suspicions that the whole incident had been planned in order to grab a sympathy vote. A newspaper headline even had a doctor stating that "nobody faints like that".

In the end the song was disqualified anyway - not because of the fainting incident, but because it had already taken part in the 1988 German semi-finals without qualifying.

Instead runner-up Simone went to Zagreb and bagged herself a respectable tenth place there, while next year's Austrian final had a new rule stating that every performer gets one chance only to perform. If you faint - you're out. Empathy, anyone?



Duett - Das Beste without fainting (Austria NF 1990)

Drama Made in Germany

I haven't been an altogether faithful follower of national finals this year and given all the negativity that had surrounded this year's German selection I didn't plan to watch it at all.

Anyhow I tuned in just in time for the second round, where the four finalists performed their second songs of the evening and thought to myself that this wasn't bad at all. Good songs and good performances - and when the two best ones out of the four I had heard in full length made it to the final knockout round I was rather pleased.

And then it happened, the tv event of the year. Clearly under pressure and not happy at all, winner Andreas Kümmert announces that he has no intention of going to Vienna and hands the victory over to runner-up Ann-Sophie. For a split second or two nobody on stage has any idea what to do while time is ticking, the show is ending and an acceptable ending must be improvised at once.

I can't help it but I love it when live television goes out of hand. When it suddenly turns real, when real emotion shines through, when it's not just a song contest anymore. The winner should smile and the loser should cry, not the other way around, and when the unexpected happens we feel that all the participants are real people, like the rest of us.

Many people have tried to explain why Kümmert stepped down like this - it has been suggested he has personal problems or were pressured by his record company to take part - but I prefer not to speculate. If he felt stepping down was the right thing to do, he is probably right in doing so.

The responsibility lies with the organising broadcaster, in this case NDR. They should of course make an effort to make sure every participant is prepared for the big occasion and understand that taking part in the national final also means you are obliged to go to the ESC in case you win. If they had doubts about a participant, they should pressure him or her before the show instead.

Apart from creating some unforgettable television drama, Kümmert has also possibly undermined Ann-Sophie quite a bit by his actions. But when a winner proves ineligible, you pick the runner-up instead. That's how the system works.

And even if the Germans did their best, nobody can still steal the award for Best Drama from this gem where the female half of Duett faints halfway through the song and gets fat-shamed by presenter Lizzi Engstler as she tries to keep the show going. Priceless.



Duett - Das Beste (Austria NF 1990)

Austria won and we are all winners

My prediction was right - Austria went all the way, scored its second victory and Conchita Wurst is a sensation everywhere.

I wrote earlier today that I refuse to believe Europe is as bigoted and prejudiced as many people seem to think and that no politics could hold Conchita back from victory.

I'm very happy about the Austrian victory and I am very happy about being right.

I'm also very happy about Finland making it all the way to 11th place - that is like a small victory for us.

There were many things that surprised me in the voting and some really good songs that were completely overlooked by the audience, but at least most of the voting looked fair and lacking those fishy, possibly manipulated, points we've seen so many of lately.

I will try analysing the numbers a bit tomorrow, but right now I will content myself with being totally happy and at ease with the winner.

The complete results:

1. Austria 290 points, 2. Netherlands 238, 3. Sweden 218, 4. Armenia 174, 5. Hungary 143, 6. Ukraine 113, 7. Russia 89, 8. Norway 88, 9. Denmark 74, 10. Spain 74, 11. Finland 72, 12. Romania 72, 13. Switzerland 64, 14. Poland 62, 15. Iceland 58, 16. Belarus 43, 17. United Kingdom 40, 18. Germany 39, 19. Montenegro 37, 20. Greece 35, 21. Italy 33, 22. Azerbaijan 33, 23. Malta 32, 24. San Marino 14, 25. Slovenia 9, 26. France 2.

Conchita is already the winner

I know there are a few tiny details left - like the final, the voting, stuff like that - but I already now dare announce the outright winner of the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest.

Whatever happens in Copenhagen tomorrow, regardless of who gets the highest points and who scores badly, Conchita Wurst from Austria is already as much a winner as anyone can be.

The ovations she received from the live audience during her semi final, the fact that Danish tv saved her for last to keep excitement at a maximum, the media attention she has already had and keep getting, the love.

It's not a particularly advanced guess that Ms Wurst will have a very busy year touring Pride events of all sorts, with a chance of building up a faithful audience in the process. The talent is there, the personality, the unique selling point. With the aid of some really nifty songwriters, Conchita could have the potential of imposing herself as Austria's first major pop export since the glory days of Falco.

It is tempting to compare with Dana International who also had a major media following but whose international career never took off. Dana's team moved way too slow and no new material made for the global market was released until a year after her victory when the momentum was over and gone.

In this new day and age of iTunes and YouTube, Conchita could tour and release strong singles to keep her audience amused while collecting enough strong material to make a killer album.

A victory would - frankly - just be the icing on the cake. But what a lovely icing it would be, one that Austria wouldn't forget anytime soon. And neither would the rest of Europe.

Nobody's favourite but mine, part 5

While making this series it seems one country pops up more often than most and that is Austria. I would perhaps not go as far as naming them my favourite country in Eurovision but few others have done so much for the diversity of the contest and few others have been so constantly ignored or misunderstood as the Austrians.

I often find myself liking Austrian entries more than most people do - at least judging from the not always too impressive scores they gather during the voting sequences - so because of that and in honour of their magnificent Conchita Wurst, who takes to the stage tonight, this is a special edition focusing fully on Austrian entries. And I had to make them ten instead of five…



The Milestones - Falter im Wind (Austria 1972)

So let's start from the top with my all time favourite Austrian entry. The Milestones were the second pop group ever to enter the eurovision stage and added an interesting touch to a contest formerly reserved for solo singers or love duets. The song is also highly personable with a long melodic build-up - and a hook that is played on a flute rather than sung - and when the chorus finally kicks in it is short and snappy and a surprisingly fulfilling climax. Douze points at any given time.



Karel Gott - Tausend Fenster (Austria 1968)

Austria was never afraid to speak their minds or make statements in this apolitical song contest and already in early 1968 they decided to lend their spotlight to neighbour country Czechoslovakia and the slowly nascent Prague spring. Winner Udo Jürgens composed an urban lament, about the loneliness of modern man, for Czechoslovakia's own Sinatra Karel Gott. For some reason, he only scored two points and Udo Jürgens famously stormed out of the green room mid-voting.



The Rounder Girls - All For You (Austria 2000)

ORF in Vienna were never afraid to make statements about Austrian matters either. At least that must have been one of the contributing factors that they chose - at the height of the controversies surrounding Jörg Haider, giving Austria a bad name around Europe - these soul babes to represent them in Stockholm. Unfortunately they didn't quite nail the live performance in the end but this is such a lively, happy and bouncy number all the same.



Westend - Hurricane (Austria 1983)

Austrians can't just yodel, they can also dress in red and yellow and dance in a group. Most of the Westend members - with the notable exception of Gary Lux - aren't really all that impressive singers but do parts nicely and with the aid of that dancing girl they manage to work up quite a storm before the song is over. This one was always one of my big favourites from 1983. Catchy and fun.



Marianne Mendt - Musik (Austria 1971)

If the host broadcaster went through all that trouble to assemble an orchestra for the occasion you could just as well use it to the fullest. I doubt there is a single instrument that isn't put to use in this massive arrangement and Marianne can't be accused of holding back her vocal abilities either. Extra plus for singing in dialect, that always goes down well at Eurovision. Well, it doesn't but it should.



Schmetterlinge - Boom Boom Boomerang (Austria 1977)

There just is no way around this one. Deeply political and deeply engaged and still devilishly entertaining. I doubt no protest song was ever as fun as this one, virtually mocking the record industry in general and the Eurovision Song Contest in particular. The group also scared the living daylights out of the BBC producers as they had interrupted a live show on Austrian television the week before the London final and made a political statement instead of singing. Being part of both this as well as The Milestones also qualifies Beatrix Neundlinger as a Eurovision Goddess in my book.



Wilfried - Lisa Mona Lisa (Austria 1988)

People I know, good friends of mine, would argue this is the archetype of a nul-pointer, that it has every ingredient of a perfect recipe for disaster. I see what they mean but I must disagree. Perhaps this one would have been better off performed by someone else, but I find a depth and an emotion here. Something the juries apparently didn't. Blaming the defeat on politics was not a brilliant move either, but Wilfried is hardly the only zero-scorer to mess up like that.



Bettina Soriat - One Step (Austria 1997)

At first I must admit to finding this pretty hopeless and doomed but at some point I took a long hard look at the live performance and realised what a professional that Soriat woman is. The amount of punch and energy she manages to squeeze into these three minutes is truly impressive.



Blue Danube - Du bist Musik (Austria 1980)

Austrian television was never afraid to be deadly serious and send in poignant entries that actually mean something. But then they could get really tired of that and go for something like this instead: a big fluffy piece of nonsense with five people randomly namedropping famous composers and musical terminology all over the place just to make sure that somebody somewhere understands something. It is perfectly ridiculous but also really rather catchy. Group member Marty Brem would be back again already the next year with the sweet but confusingly staged Wenn Du da bist, featured already in Part 3 of this series.



Anita - Einfach weg (Austria 1984)

This could be a crash course in how to take a perfectly good song, rip it to shreds and crush every single chance it might have had of impressing anyone. If you just listen to it with your eyes closed you'll hear what a good song it is. Then you open your eyes to find that the woman who sings about being strong and independent and gone before you know it is a polite little flower in a pink dress, a sweet hairdo and not a drop of attitude anywhere. Add the dance orchestra background musicians and the stiff backing vocalists - again Gary Lux, not at his finest hour - and your song is doomed. Despite a very clear last place - 21 points behind Yugoslavia placed second last - it was a big hit on home ground and is still seen as a bit of a classic. Made for radio, so to speak.

Nobody's favourite but mine, part 3

What fun it has been making the list of songs I thought I was the only person alive under God's divine sky to like and enjoy. Part 1 and Part 2, however, taught me many people share my odd taste so here we go with five more songs that somehow seemed to appeal to the mainstream of eurofans.



Rikki - Only The Light (United Kingdom 1987)

I was only 11 years old at the time and didn't really understand what the Swedish commentator meant when he implied the UK was in an outright downhill and no longer delivered anything really convincing to Eurovision. I thought this song was fun and catchy, and Rikki's backing group provided dance moves even I could manage. What was there not to love?

Besides, the Swedish commentator had no idea what a REAL downhill looks like, and neither did the UK until some twelve-thirteen years later. Rikki did end in a 13th place - the worst UK placing until then - but somewhere in Liverpool a real disaster called Jemini was just waiting to happen.



Marty Brem - Wenn Du da bist (Austria 1981)

This is actually a really lovely little song. Gentle, sensitive, heartfelt. It is well sung and is overall a rather catchy ballad. It just tries really hard to distract anyone from noticing. The composer was quoted as being unhappy with the confusing arrangement in the beginning of the song. Had I been him I would have worried a whole lot more about the performance as such. Where do I begin?

I would have loved to have a look inside the head of the Austrian choreographer. What can he have been thinking? Some heavy dancing would be nice. Backwards dancing would be even better. And somebody has to wear a helmet. Dancing has never been stranger.



Pas de Deux - Rendez-vous (Belgium 1983)

When the expert jury overwhelmingly voted Pas de Deux as winners of the 1983 Belgian final it would be a real understatement to call the studio audience enthusiastic. They whistled, booed and most left the hall before the winner's reprise was over. I guess Belgian audiences prefer heartfelt ballads about mothers to more experimental stuff.

And experimental it was, made to annoy rather than please, with it's distinct rhythm, it's intense brass arrangement and its constant repetition of one single line that doesn't really mean anything. It is close to what Greece is doing this year - presenting a set of rhythms and hooks rather than an old-fashioned song - but back in the early 1980's it was far too avant-garde to go down particularly well. At least the Spanish jury liked it and gave it eight points.



Baby Doll - Brazil (Yugoslavia 1991)

Just to make one thing very clear: there isn't the slightest hint of irony here, no tongue in cheek. I really think this song is fun and happening and that Baby Doll is a most spectacular performer. If you are looking for fine singing this will perhaps be slightly disappointing but it is not likely do bore you at least.

Since Yugoslavia had done well four years in a row I was convinced this one would be top ten material and was a bit shocked to see it end second last with only one point from Malta, beaten by a whole bunch of soporific ballads.



Vlado Janevski - Ne zori, zoro (FYR Macedonia 1998)

Not too surprising that a televoting audience that had lived through endless ballads with flute and violin and pretty harmonies and an Irish win-athon would go for something more cheerful and upbeat when they finally got the power in their hands, but it is a shame that they overlooked this last song on the night. Vlado is a really cool cat who wrote himself a really good song - a sort of Leonard Cohen of the Balkans - that would have deserved a lot more attention than this. At least they would have deserved a neighbourly top mark or two.

Nobody's favourite but mine, part 2

It seems you good people didn't quite agree with me being the only one to like either of the songs in the first part of this series. Well, I guess I wouldn't be myself if I didn't push my luck and tried to challenge you with five more songs that I sometimes think I'm the only one in the world to care for. Am I?



Gemini - Dai li dou (Portugal 1978)

After a couple of years with serious songs with political undertones, Portugal suddenly decided to send in a wonderfully (annoyingly, according to some) bouncy little song about a kite flying high in the sky. Simple and catchy (or possibly repetitive), performed by another one of these groups of four people, clearly modelled on Abba.

The verses may be a bit clumsy but the chorus is so happy in all its simplicity and the choreography is probably so easy not even I could make a mess of it. Cute.



Cocktail Chic - Européennes (France 1986)

Things weren't exactly running smoothly in France at this point. There had been almost ten years since their last victory and the contest changing hands from TF1 to Antenne2 had resulted in a national final nobody wanted to be part of or associated with. So the best thing they could come up with this year were a bunch of popular backing vocalists who would finally have their big chance of performing as a group.

With styling as impeccable as their vocal delivery (some of those notes are really rather wobbly), the French girls didn't stand a chance during the voting and ended in a pale 17th place while the three other countries singing in French - Belgium, Switzerland and Luxembourg - all made top three.



Gunvor - Lass ihn (Switzerland 1998)

Through the years I have often been better at predicting the last place than picking a winner but this was a nul-pointer I never saw coming. I thought Gunvor had written herself a nice little ditty, perhaps a bit average but still catchy and retainable enough. It even featured Egon Egemann and his white violin, that would surely make an impression?

Despite being up against real non-songs like Spain and Greece, Gunvor somehow managed to cling to her zero points all the way through the voting. Her career, already deeply affected by local scandal newspapers and their shameless publication of pictures and details of some less glamourous aspects of her life, never recovered from this and Gunvor decided to retire from the spotlight. A real shame. And her song wasn't even bad to start with.



Christina Simon - Heute in Jerusalem (Austria 1979)

Eurovision is a circus full of glitter and happiness and more or less obvious attempts at attracting points from all directions. There is nothing wrong with that and I want it to be like that, but it does make it a less suitable arena for people who are actually trying to say something.

Austria thought the final in Jerusalem would be the perfect place to tell the world they would prefer peace instead of war and employed Christina Simon to be their voice in this slow and demanding jazz number. Of course it didn't stand a chance and as Israel and Egypt signed a peace treaty right before the final it even felt less relevant also lyrically. Last place was still really unfair and my question remains the same as ever: what's the point of having juries if they can't recognise quality?



Aleksandra & Konstantin - My Galileo (Belarus 2004)

At first I had no idea how to react to this. Was it really in English? Were those real words? Is it supposed to sound like this? I didn't know what to expect from Belarus in the first place but I most certainly did not expect this. Despite being reluctant at first, it started growing on me with it's odd folksy sound and before Eurovision week in Istanbul was over I had sung this song in front of a small crowd at the Belarusian party and my friend had kissed Aleksandra's feet. A regular day at the Eurovision Song Contest, you know.

Nobody's favourite but mine, part 1

Sometimes I get the impression there is a certain kind of eurovision fan who only watches the contest in order to get to criticise as many things as possible. To just slam every song they hear and rip them to shreds.

I admit it can be great fun to do just that. When you find something that is really terribly bad and you manage to find just the right words to explain why something makes your ears bleed and your heart cry.

It's just that I'm so incredibly fond of liking things. I can often find redeeming factors in most really weird entries and in general I like so many more things than I dislike. So just to prove my point I will present you a number of songs only I like. Here are five songs I like very much to most people's honest surprise and incomprehension.



Afroditi Fryda - Clown (Greece 1988)

Famously, the jury in the national final selected a winner only after pointing out how underwhelming all candidates were and recommending the national tv company to pull out of the competition instead of sending either one to a sure defeat in Dublin. If that anecdote is true - it has been attached to a number of Greek national finals through the years - the jury were not entirely wrong as the song received a grand total of ten points.

I disagreed with juries - business as usual - and found an attractive sadness in between all the compulsive laughter. When I finally saw a translation of the lyrics I realised it was all in my head as there wasn't the slightest trace of ambiguity or darkness. I still love it anyway. Ha ha ha ha!



George Nussbaumer - Weils dr guat got (Austria 1996)

Eurovision and gospel music has always been a hard nut to crack. Quite a few entrants have tried through the years without really getting it right. It becomes a bit too polished and soft and harmless to leave any real traces or reveal any deeper emotion. Except perhaps for this bunch of crazy Austrians.

The song is perhaps not all that remarkable in itself and I wasn't really blown away by the preview clip, but the live performance is the closest thing we ever came to a perfect re-enactment of a tropical hurricane. The backing group - including Stella Jones and Bettina Soriat who both represented their country as solo singers in the 90's - become so incredibly animated and worked-up that you suspect the hall will run out of oxygen before the song is over. Not everyone's cup of tea but I find it irresistible.



Oleksandr - Hasta la vista (Ukraine 2003)

Isn't it strange that Ukraine - famous for doing everything right in the ESC - would start out by getting more or less everything wrong in their debut entry? The cheesy lyrics, the old-fashioned arrangement, the Kermit-the-frog-at-the-opera vocals and the most peculiar dancer in the background. It is all so puzzling. What were they thinking? Were they convinced they had a winner on their hands? The worst part still is that I've grown remarkably fond of it over the years. For all the wrong reasons, mind you. But very fond all the same.



Modern Folk Trio & Aysegül - Dönme dolap (Turkey 1981)

I'm surprisingly easy at times, I have to admit to that. Shake a piece of homemade disco muzak Made in Turkey in front of me and my knees will turn into jelly. If it is performed by three distinguished gentlemen in white, accompanied by a cheerful lady, performing a choreography that should be simple but that seems to pose a real challenge for the group, I'll be even happier. If you top it with a shockingly nonsense set of lyrics - stating that life is a merry-go-round as it goes up and then down again - I'll just roll over and admit I'm defeated.



Daisy Auvray - Mister Music Man (Switzerland 1992)

This is what I suppose happened: Poor Daisy didn't get out much and this time she decided to really live the moment to the fullest. She had enjoyed a glass of wine or two and felt lovely and vibrant and alive and wanted the whole world to know. She grabbed a microphone, decided to put her happiness into song and asked the band to strike up an old-fashioned sound that would suit her perfectly. How was poor Daisy to know this was not a karaoke bar at all but the Swiss national final?

Seriously, though. This was so violently out of sync with any kind of musical trend or fashion back then, but time has been really kind to this in comparison to many other entries from the same year. Perhaps not the best song there ever was, but the whole performance is sweet. And endearing. And that must be worth something too.

Semi 2: 06 Austria

This edition of the Eurovision Song Contest marks the 25th anniversary since Austria last made it to top five. A celebration could be in place and what could be more suitable than a return to form?



Conchita Wurst - Rise Like A Phoenix (Austria 2014)

Many things have been said about the Austrian participant, a great deal of which has been a bunch of sad drivel. The mere thought of a drag queen sporting a beard seems too much to deal with for many people also in the more tolerant areas of Europe. Surprising and sad.

But even the people who can't stand the combination of a beard and a dress must hear the amount of talent going on here. This is such a classy, dramatic ballad in an exquisite arrangement, paired with an impressive set of vocal chords. Standing out of the crowd is a clear advantage in the ESC and this is an entry most viewers will notice.

If you can't pay attention to the song just because of the image of the performer, then you really have a problem. Deal with it. Conchita Wurst is a silly stage name, you say? So was Dana International.

Qualifier: Yes. Conchita will storm into the final where she has the possibility of doing really well. The first top five placing in twenty-five years is not unthinkable. Neither is a victory.

My grade: 5/5