Tobson's Big ESC 2019 review, part 1

It is a bit quiet around this blog most of the year but suddenly spring is in the air and 40-something new Eurovision entries call my name and demand to be reviewed. Who am I to say no? Here we go with this year's 41 entries spread over seven blog posts.

Bulgaria and Ukraine are taking a year off (a particularly stupid move in Ukraine's case but let's get back to that, perhaps). This is how the first semi will begin!

01 CYPRUS
Tamta / Replay

Cyprus got closer to victory than ever before in 2018 and many words have been used by people wishing to declare how this year's Cypriot offering is nothing but a copy of last year's effort. Since they asked the same team for a new song it is pretty obvious they wanted to stay in the same area and in my book this is the better song of the two. Lively and updated but hardly alone in its genre this time.

Qualifier:
Absolutely, beyond the shadow of a doubt. A bit unexpected to kick off the first semi with a song as strong as this but the final is all the matters anyway.

My grade: 4/5


02 MONTENEGRO
D-Mol / Heaven

If there is any sort of consensus about anything this year, then it is how chanceless poor Montenegro is. So chanceless that it is, indeed, a bit cruel to underline this fact by giving them the real death slot in the running order. The six happy youngsters in D-Mol make me think of Aarzemnieki - Latvia's hopefuls in Copenhagen 2014 that made for pleasant company during three minutes but never really stood any chance of qualifying. I thoroughly enjoy this despite all its flaws - or perhaps even because of them - but if this one makes it to the final it would be a surprise big enough to stop time.

Qualifier:
Nope. Never in a million years.

My grade: 2/5


03 FINLAND
Darude feat Sebastian Rejman / Look Away

Sending Darude to Eurovision seemed like quite a nifty idea at first. "Sandstorm" might be his only major hit but it is fondly remembered by many people around the globe. People who could possibly be overwhelmed by nostalgia and vote for him. Unfortunately this entry is more Sebastian Rejman feat Darude than the other way around and the old hit-DJ finds himself relegated to being a mere special effect in his own entry, dancing around in the background like an embarrassing parent at a school disco. The song starts out pretty well only to turn almost shockingly dull before the chorus.

Qualifier:
Most unlikely. It really would be time for Finland to ditch the UMK concept that clearly isn't working and try to replace it with something more worthwhile.

My grade: 1/5


04 POLAND
Tulia / Fire of Love (Pali się)

This is the point where many a western european viewer might splutter out the drink they allowed themselves on a Tuesday night. White voice - a very special vocal technique reminiscent of a controlled scream - is a common feature in eastern folklore but will sound very exotic and unexpected to many others. Add a song that is remarkably similar to "I Am The Walrus" and suddenly you find yourself with a package that works and the initial shock is likely to turn into something else before three minutes have passed.

Qualifier:
Yes, I think so. This entry has the personality and originality that so many of the songs in the lineup desperately lack.

My grade: 3/5


05 SLOVENIA
Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl / Sebi

Every year there is a song that really shouldn't do well based on what viewers usually like and yet defies all logic and scores well. This year, that surprise song should be this soft little whisper in Slovenian. A lovely and endearing little entry and the musical equivalent of a long, warm hug on a chilly day. Introverted but inviting at the same time.

Qualifier:

Yes. It must be or I will be terribly disappointed in everyone and everything.

My grade: 4/5

06 CZECH REPUBLIC

Lake Malawi / Friend Of A Friend

For the second year running, the Czech republic sends in a light, dance-friendly pop song performed by a cute guy who is potentially a bit of a douche, at least judging from the lyrics. This is far from universally acclaimed by the ESC fandom but what many of its detractors seem to forget is that this is one of few entries on offer this year that is light-hearted and effortless-sounding. Like a bunch of guys in a student band having the time of their lives. In a good way, not in a Manel Navarro sort of way.

Qualifier:

Yes. No need to worry about that.

My grade: 4/5

Quite a good start to the first semi, n'est-ce pas? If you want to agree or disagree with me, please leave a comment or send me a tweet. All the preview clips can be seen here.

Tweet to @TobsonHelsinki

Tobson's Big ESC 2018 review, part 2

There is always something to be unhappy about. The fans are in general not fond of the fact that the running order is sequenced by a producer instead of the result of a draw. They would want things to be more random.

However, as the songs were revealed for this year's contest it turned out the first semi seemed way stronger in most people's minds compared to the second semi. This was seen as deeply unfair. Maybe people would want the draw of the semis to be less... random.

This is just the way it happens. It should be no job of a producer to decide what is good and what is bad in order to create a balance between semis. We just have to live with it, I suppose. And these are the final nine songs of the first, stronger semi.

11. FYR MACEDONIA
Eye Cue / Lost And Found

An ambitious entry co-signed by one of the country's most prolific hitmakers - a daring mix of different styles and tempi and sounds all joined together in a three-minute experiment. Would deserve a spot in the final not least because of its sheer nerve and its bravery but that is not how it works.

Qualifier:
No. There are bit too many sudden turns in this entry and the televoters will lose interest before they realise what an interesting piece of music this is.

My grade: 3/5

12. CROATIA
Franka / Crazy

Croatia did pretty well since their comeback two years ago but still nowhere near living up to their potential. This year they internally selected a real pop starlet who revitalised her own career lately. Her entry falls into the popular "Could have been a Bond track"-category and this is a classy piece of craft. Only not engaging enough to break through.

Qualifier:
No. In the second semi it would have qualified but while the song sounds good - and Franka is a solid performer - it lacks that last piece of sparkle needed to turn it into a vote magnet.

My grade: 3/5

13. AUSTRIA
Cesár Sampson / Nobody But You

This one puzzles me as it is quite highly rated by fans. I tend to like Austria way more than most and defend their songs to the bitter end. All I see and hear this year is a decent but pretty anonymous attempt at gospel, performed by somebody who is not exactly burning through the screen.

Qualifier:
No. I don't think it will be enough when placed against a whole bunch of stronger contenders in this semi.

My grade: 1/5

14. GREECE
Yianna Terzi / Oneiro mou

I must applaud Greece for going back to their roots. I love the sound of this as well as the general atmosphere in this entry. Yianna has an enchanting voice and presence and the whole thing brings in an air of older traditional Greek pop that I loved in my youth. I should love this to bits and yet I am not blown away. I don't know what is missing but if I don't get blown away by this, how could I expect anyone else to be?

Qualifier:
Borderline. It will depend very much on the staging but I'm afraid this could turn out to be a flop in the voting.

My grade: 2/5

15. FINLAND
Saara Aalto / Monsters

Some of my initial doubts have blown away. Not all of them, mind you. I still fear some decisions taken concerning styling and choreography and I still doubt Saara's ability to keep her calm when it matters the most. However, this entry is very much helped by its spot in the running order.

Qualifier:
Yes. This is the right song at the right time. Catchy, contemporary and with the right sort of climax.

My grade: 4/5

16. ARMENIA
Sevak Khanagyan / Qami

Another piece of carefully written etno performed in the country's own language. Well sung and with a nice climax towards the end but still lacking something to make it dramatic enough. Having Greece coming so close before it could also be a really bad thing for the Armenians.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Probably yes - Armenia is good at making its way into the final - but it is far from sure. It would be pretty interesting if both Armenia and Azerbaijan would miss the final the same year. Is that when time breaks and the universe melts?

My grade: 2/5

17. SWITZERLAND
Zibbz / Stones

Switzerland never made a name for themselves as a European stronghold for rock music - maybe for a cause - but these siblings moved across the big blue water and made careers for themselves over there. They represent their own homeland with quite some gravity and energy. As a rock song, this is not half bad and far more engaging than any Swiss entry has been for many years.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Which is a good thing for Switzerland. On a good day, they could grab an 8th place and a spot in Saturday's line-up. But then they better not mess up live.

My grade: 3/5

18. IRELAND
Ryan O'Shaughnessy / Together

I saw the really cute video clip and fell headlong both for it and this melodic and uncomplicated little song. It was a nice gesture of the RTÉ to make a clip like this - it is not gay baiting when a straight performer decides to show an lgbt storyline in a clip, folks - and this is clearly the best Irish entry for year and years. And yet...

Qualifier:
Borderline. Probably no. In Lisbon, there will be no clip and everything comes down to how interesting you can make this look on stage. I would be very happy to be positively surprised here.

My grade: 4/5

19. CYPRUS
Eleni Foureira / Fuego

This is where my mixed emotions kick in. The final could definitely do with a commercial pop song like this, but doesn't it sound very much like a track Helena Paparizou would have left off her 2006 album or so? Slightly dated, slightly unsurprising. And how well can Eleni sell this on stage?

Qualifier:
Yes. The advantage of being the last song out will help. But we are hardly bound for Nicosia in 2019.

My grade: 3/5

Find part one of this review here.

Tobson's Big ESC 2017 Review, part 4

It is high time to wrap up the first semi final and see if it ends on a sick note or on a real high. The previous songs can be found here: part 1, part 2 and part 3.

Four songs remain and the electronic feel that has already been present in a number of entries will be heard also here. Strange and slightly unfortunate how almost all the moody electronica ended up in the same semi.

15. CYPRUS
Hovig / Gravity

Maybe winning the ESC wrecked Thomas G:son's mojo as he since then has not really tried pushing new and groundbreaking things into Melodifestivalen but rather opted for the safe, paid day-job of providing songs for the likes of Cyprus and Georgia. This is a soft and radio-friendly rocker that is catchy but constantly runs the risk of turning too repetitive. Euphoria it is not.

Qualifier:
Borderline. It all depends on Hovig himself and his ability to keep things going in three minutes. It's not a battle lost but a shaky bet.

My grade: 3/5



Hovig / Gravity (Cyprus 2017 preview)

16. ARMENIA
Artsvik / Fly With Me

When Armenia revealed their song as the last country of all and it turned out to be another female with a vaguely electronic sound behind her I found the whole thing a bit boring. Then the song started growing on me and after some listenings it became almost hypnotic with its slightly slower tempo. If only Artsvik can match her vocals with a strong presence and a simple but effective stage show, this could carry quite a bit.

Qualifier:
Yes. Perhaps too demanding to go anywhere near a victory, but qualification is usually a walk in the park for Armenia (insert comment about diaspora vote here if you feel so inclined).

My grade: 3/5



Artsvik / Fly With Me (Armenia 2017 preview)

17. SLOVENIA
Omar Naber / On My Way

After narrowly missing out on a spot in the final in 2005, the talented Omar Naber is back in Kyiv for a second try. I have waited for him to come back so it is with a heavy heart I note how he opted for a very traditional and terribly pointless ballad that feels more like filler material in a local musical than a contender at Eurovision. Vocally good but it doesn't help. "I'm on my way" Omar sings, but this song is not going anywhere.

Qualifier:
No. Unless possibly Europe gets enough with all the electronica and opts for something square and old-fashioned.

My grade: 1/5



Omar Naber / On My Way (Slovenia 2017 preview)

18. LATVIA
Triana Park / Line

It is widely believed that performing last in a semifinal is something of a golden ticket to the final. Of course it could make it easier for you to stand out, but that only works as long as you are clearly better or different compared to what came before you. As the Latvians come on stage, the audience already sat through slightly similar entries from Iceland, Azerbaijan, Belgium, Armenia and Poland. How many viewers will at this point stand up and state that this one feels original and special and that they need to vote for it?

Qualifier:
I very much doubt it will. It is a pleasant little number that unfolds a bit too slowly while given a slightly too introverted and anonymous performance. After two good years, Latvia will struggle now.

My grade: 2/5



Triana Park / Line (Latvia 2017 preview)

Semi 1: 11 Cyprus / Alter Ego

Before making a living for himself in the schlager factory, Thomas G:son was a devoted rock musician and toured with his own band Masquerade. This year he has returned closer to his roots and brings a rock flavour to both Cyprus and Georgia.

Minus One seems to be very much your typical rock band of the kind you'd find in every corner of the world, no better or worse than any other.

But the magical touch of G:son is working. The song may be pretty standard but possesses temper and a certain roughness that will make it stand out in this otherwise pretty nicely produced lineup.

Qualifier:
Yes, given that the band is charismatic enough on stage. In the preview clip I get the feeling the director is trying to hide the band away a bit.

My grade: 3/5



Minus One / Alter Ego (Cyprus 2016 preview clip)

Semi 2: 15 Cyprus

Fifteen years ago the world was full of boybands who looked cute, danced a little bit and sang parts for dear life while twinkling at their audiences with their starry eyes. Most of those boybands had at least one song that sounded exactly like this year's Cypriot entry.

In other words there will be no points to Cyprus for being original or groundbreaking this time around. This is a very safe little song that won't shock anyone.

At first I couldn't quite believe how safe and inoffensive it was. Not to mention dull. I found it frighteningly dull. I had to rub my eyes as it won the national final.

First impressions don't always last and I must admit to having warmed to this one since. Somehow it works. Somehow it feels believable. Dear John looks at us the way the boybands did and when he says he's sorry I really think he is.

With an extreme portion of luck this could turn out to be almost as successful as its twin song "Stronger Every Minute" - Cyprus' most successful entry to date.

Qualifier:
Yes, thanks to it's fortunate slot in the running order. And thanks to the sweet performance.

My grade: 3/5



John Karayannis - One Thing I Should Have Done (Cyprus 2015)

You can win, but can you host?

Winning the Eurovision Song Contest was always a slightly sweaty affair since a victory also gave you the responsibility to host next year's event as well. More challenging for some than for others, but not effortless for anyone.

I was really happy when, in Baku 2012, the EBU finally put their foot down and said they wanted the event to grow smaller in coming years. Smaller venues, fewer delegates and less money spent. Partially due to the financial situation in Europe, of course. It doesn't look good that obscene amounts of money are spent on a tv-show as people struggle to get by in their everyday lives.

But a smaller format for Eurovision also makes it possible for more countries to host. There is already the requirement that any host city must be able to offer a certain amount of quality hotel rooms (the figure 3000 comes to mind but I'm not sure it's correct), which already makes it really hard for some countries to host.

Are we ready to make some sacrifices for a good cause? Could we content ourselves with a lower standard of hotels? With a considerably smaller venue? With a considerably lower amount of accreditations given out? For one year?

Or do we have to just face the music and realise that if some countries win, they will probably not be able to host? Countries like Iceland, Slovenia, Cyprus? Could Malta pull it off? Or this year's bookmaker favourite Armenia?

For me, the Eurovision Song Contest is - and should be - one of the biggest unifying factors in Europe that make countries come together and feel equal. What happens to that idea if a number of participants are already out of the running in advance?

I can just imagine the outcry in 2006 if Finland - after finally winning on its 40th attempt - would have been deemed to small to host and the EBU would have handed the honour to, say, Germany instead. An anticlimax like that is nothing I would wish any participating country, really.

I hope we can see finals in Reykjavík, Ljubljana, Valletta in the future, even if they are smaller than the ones we have grown used to. In the end, the most important aspect should be that the final product looks good on television anyway.

ESC 2014: how few can we be?

It feels like the Malmö final was just the other weekend, doesn't it, and yet we are beginning to know a little bit more about next year's final already. We know that Copenhagen is the chosen city, we know the venue and we know the dates.

Unfortunately, we had some bad news in the shape of withdrawals as well.

In Malmö, I thought 39 countries felt a bit few to fill up two semi finals. With thirty-three countries going through the semis, it left one semi with no more than 16 songs. Honestly, I already find that number balancing on the edge of being too few.

What do we know about the Copenhagen lineup, then? We know that Croatia and Cyprus have decided not to take part. Apart from being a lean year for countries beginning with the letter "C", it would bring the number of participants down to 37 unless the EBU members absent in 2013 decide to come back.

That doesn't look too promising either. Out of the non-participants of 2013 only one - Portugal - seems to have stated any sort of ambition to be back. That would leave us with 38 countries and 16 songs per semi. Acceptable, I guess.

But what if the hard times pushes another country or two out of the Copenhagen final?

The problem with having too few songs per semi final is that it makes non-qualification even worse. Say that you have thirteen songs in a semi and only three songs fail to make it to the final - the national press would rip their flunked performers to shreds.

So where do we draw the line? Is it acceptable to have 15 songs per semi? Or 14? At the same time as you cram the final with more songs than you really have time for?

I'd still push this old idea of mine and have fewer songs in the final. If there are sixteen songs per semi, it is more than enough if eight songs qualify per heat. That would make a neat and manageable final of 22 songs.

And the day all countries come running back to the Eurovision Song Contest - then you just change it back again. Well worth a try if you ask me.

Semi 1: these are my ten qualifiers

I don't really know why this is, but every year when you are supposed to predict the results you get hit by a surreal feeling of seriousness. But its just a game, isn't it? My guess is as good as yours, et cetera?

Well, there is still some sort of pressure. I wouldn't want to stand there with only four correct countries in the end when everyone else predicted everything right.

So here are tonight's contenders and my final prediction as to who will make it and who won't.

1. AUSTRIA Shine / Natália Kelly
I always thought this would be a very good opening number for the semi final. Perhaps it still is, but it comes at the cost of being eclipsed by everything that comes after it. The song is pleasant and Natália does nothing wrong, but the audience is highly unlikely of remembering this particularly well when the phone lines open.
Qualifier: No.

2. ESTONIA Et uus saaks alguse / Birgit Õigemeel
If this ballad and the Cypriot ballad could swap places in the running order, there would be no doubt in my mind that Birgit and Estonia would make it. This is elegant, sober and very well performed. Not to mention my favourite ballad in this semi. I want to believe in this.
Qualifier: Yes

3. SLOVENIA Straight Into Love / Hannah
Modern, slick and club friendly - but for some reason these qualities seem to matter very little when people cast their votes. Even if Hannah hits all the notes correctly, this is not the kind of song that usually breaks through and a qualification would be a great surprise.
Qualifier: No

4. CROATIA Mižerija / Klapa s mora
Many will find this dull and old-fashioned but a large section of the audience will also hear competent singing and a competent melody line. I'm pretty convinced that quite a few jury members will belong to that latter category.
Qualifier: Yes

5. DENMARK Only Teardrops / Emmelie de Forest
Will the biggest pre-contest make it through the semi? Of course it will. Denmark missing out at this early stage would be more drama than anyone could handle on a Tuesday night.
Qualifier: Yes

6. RUSSIA What If / Dina Garipova
A clean and plesant melody line, a good vocalist and tons of cheese in the lyrical department. Quite far from being one of my personal favourites, qualification is still pretty inevitable.
Qualifier: Yes

7. UKRAINE Gravity / Zlata Ognevich
All this talk of Zlata being carried by a giant and possibly overacting her performance in rehearsals made me worry a bit at first, but there is enough of brilliance and elegance in this song to make it sail safely into the final either way.
Qualifier: Yes

8. NETHERLANDS Birds / Anouk
Suddenly people started having doubts, thinking that the Dutch curse will continue and that Anouk will fail. That is not going to happen. This is the first really good and credible Dutch entry for more than ten years, it will get rewarded for that.
Qualifier: Yes

9. MONTENEGRO Igranka / Who See feat Nina Žižić
One week ago I predicted these party bunnies in the final but I think I changed my mind again. This is a big hit in several ex-yugoslav countries, but even if they shower them in points it won't be enough unless everyone else also fall for this. I would not mind if they did, but I don't see it happening.
Qualifier: No

10. LITHUANIA Something / Andrius Pojavis
I thought I would like this more when I just heard it and didn't have to see the confusing preview presentation. It didn't help, it just showed me how underproduced it is. How little bite or attitude there is. Lithuania surprised me by qualifying in 2011 and 2012. I don't think they will surprise me this time.
Qualifier: No

11. BELARUS Solayoh / Alyona Lanskaya
The more I hear this one, the more I think it sounds like a jingle from an ice cream commercial more than a pop hit. And I can't shake the feeling that it even leaves poor Alyona cold. I still can't see who would vote for this, especially not if they happen to sit in a jury room.
Qualifier: No

12. MOLDOVA O mie / Aliona Moon
I wasn't too sure about this ballad at first, but it kept growing and growing. Just like Aliona's dress is going to tonight. A good performance that also stays in the visual memory is never a bad idea in this contest, a trick that Moldova has mastered well in recent years.
Qualifier: Yes

13. IRELAND Only Love Survives / Ryan Dolan
The first uptempo song that is modern, dance-friendly as well as user-friendly and easily accessible, performed by a fresh and likeable young man accompanied by a healthy amount of drumming and dance beats. The Irish should have nothing to worry about.
Qualifier: Yes

14. CYPRUS An me thimase / Despina Olympiou
Elegance, temper and talent can take a weak song quite a long way. The televoting masses have short memory and in an unfair world Cyprus could win precious ballad votes and take Estonia's place in the final. If so, I promise to be happy for Despina, but her song doesn't quite deserve it.
Qualifier: No

15. BELGIUM Love Kills / Roberto Bellarosa
This is one of my biggest favourites in this semi final but it seems my sentiments are not mirrored by the people predicting the outcome in Malmö. I don't care - I think this chorus and Roberto's nervous intensity will break through to enough people.
Qualifier: Yes

16. SERBIA Ljubav je svuda / Moje 3
The Serbian trio rip and tear their little song to bits and the little hooks and ideas scattered around the chorus get a bit lost in this shoutfest. And yet I think this will make the final cut by looking and sounding familiar enough in combination with being the last country in the presentation. I would prefer Montenegro or Slovenia in the final, but I don't think I will have my way.
Qualifier: Yes

So these are my ten qualifiers tonight: Estonia, Croatia, Denmark, Russia, Ukraine, Netherlands, Moldova, Ireland, Belgium, Serbia.

If I get eight songs right, I will be content. Nine and I will be happy - unless the one I'm wrong about is Anouk. Ten right and I will celebrate until the second semi.

What do you think, folks?

Preview clip: Cyprus 1992

Difficult songs - the ones you have to hear more than once to fully appreciate - are often the ones that best stand the test of time. My great love - after a couple of listenings - of the 1992 Eurovision Song Contest is Evridiki from Cyprus.



Evridiki - Teriazoume (Cyprus 1992 preview)

Even if I needed some time to break into the song, I instantly liked this clip. There was something sensual and troubling about the whole thing. Also it gave some invaluable advice what can happen if you mix fire with bed linen.

This is another of those cases where I have to roll my eyes and question what the juries were thinking. If somebody tries to experiment and try something different in a contest rapidly getting stuck in its own format, then this somebody should get rewarded.

An eleventh place was far from a disaster given the Cypriot eurovision history, but Evridiki and her dramatic performance would have deserved so much more.



Evridiki - Teriazoume (Cyprus 1992)

Semi 1: 14 Cyprus

There are good news and bad news concerning this song. Good news: Cyprus is sending in one of their bigger stars for Eurovision. Bad news: she doesn't have a whole lot of a song to work with.



Despina Olympiou - An me thimáse (Cyprus 2013)

Perhaps there is something I should know to appreciate this entry more. Perhaps it falls very well into the standard repertoire of Despina. Perhaps it has lovely lyrics or touches a string with the home audience.

All I hear is a polished little ballad that is very pleasant but never quite takes off. It does nothing wrong, it is clean and enjoyable but bound to fall into oblivion as soon as the next song starts.

Despina is a good singer that manages to add some temper and colour, but there are limits also to what a skilled performer can do to save an unspectacular entry.

Qualifier:
No. It would be a real surprise if this one managed to capture the audience enough to qualify.

My grade: 2/5

In fact, this song always make me think of another Cypriot ballad entry that was pleasant and did nothing wrong but failed to have any impact in the end. I believe this year's entry will share the same fate.



Lia Vishi-Piliouris - To katalava arga (Cyprus 1985)

Tobson's Ranking: #3 Cyprus

A little bit of love, a little bit of la la la and a close to flawless performance. It doesn't have to be harder than that.



Ivi Adamou - La La Love (Cyprus 2012)

Creating a good, convincing pop performance is in no way a simple task. Making everything seem easy, spontaneous and effortless really takes a professional like Helena Paparizou or Ani Lorak and those are few and far between.

Ivi Adamou is almost up there with them, which came as a bit of a surprise to me after all the speculation as to whether she could carry a tune at all.

She could more than just sing: she dances really well, she holds the whole number together and - most importantly - she adds a sense of humour to the whole thing. She knows that her entry is a feather-weight little bagatelle and she treats it with all the delicacy it needs without getting carried away.

Apart from being a little bit shaky in the vocal department right after the dance break, Ivi delivers a close to perfect Eurovision pop extravaganza that is pure pleasure from the first note to the last. A mystery that it didn't score better, but given the commercial success it has achieved in several countries afterwards Ivi should be all smiles anyway.

My grade: 5/5

The 2012 review, part three

The review goes on, this time with the four songs performing in the spots 11 - 14 in the first semi final.

11. SAN MARINO



Valentina Monetti - The Social Network Song

I think I have made my opinion on this song pretty clear in the past, so I will try to be brief here. Out of all the things that are horribly wrong in this entry, what pains me the most is how cynical and calculating the people behind the whole thing have been. If you don't have a good song, then try to be a bit controversial. Mention something "new", "modern" and "youthful". Mention "sex".

An abomination more than an entry. San Marino was so nice last year, whatever happened on the way from Düsseldorf?

Qualifyer:
Surely not. My jaw would not drop if this one ended with nul points in the semi.

My grade: 0/5

12. CYPRUS




Ivi Adamou - La La Love

Sometimes when a song gets thrown at you, you will just want to rub it off and never hear it again. Sometimes it starts growing on you and you will start liking it a lot. In the last couple days, the Cypriot ditty has grown from an OK dance entry to a full-fledged candidate in my eyes.

I still think the song consists of a collection of bits and pieces that don't necessarily fit together, but I feel more and more confident that Ivi and her team will make this work. Unless she falls into the Kate Ryan-trap of trying too hard, she could be a pleasant surprise in the final.

Qualifyer:
Yes. This song has the same kind of hit potential as Romania and I refuse to think that Europe will let this one get lost so early in the game.

My grade: 4/5

13. DENMARK



Soluna Samay - Should Have Known Better

Just like Greece, I think Denmark has stretched their formula a bit further than I would have wished for, trying similar things over and over again during the last years. Therefore, I am genuinely happy that the Danes sent in something different this time. This is a piece of simple but appetising radio pop with a soft and laidback feel to it. Catchy in a pleasant understated kind of way.

But then there is the stage presentation that ruins the whole thing for me. Who are all these people in the backing group? Why are they all trying to take the focus away from the lead singer? If they don't get this show properly on the road, the Danes could find themselves bitterly disappointed in the end.

Qualifyer:
Possibly, but that would require work. The televoters have not shown any mercy with acts that mess up their own presentations, and Soluna has a lot of cleaning up to do in her own act.

My grade: 2/5

14. RUSSIA



Buranovskiye Babushki - Party For Everybody

This isn't quite Christmas Eve for vocal perfectionist and perhaps this is not the sharpest entry in competition this year either. But who cares when the Udmurt grannies are so adorable and overall fantastic? Even the cats and dogs are invited to their party, and I'm sure the televoters will want to join in as well.


Qualifyer:
Yes. Of course. The tv-viewers will love this entry, especially in the semi. The juries might be a bit less amused, and in the final the grannies might have to content themselves with a placing further back. As if that would matter a single bit? Come on and dance!

My grade: 4/5

Cyprus 2012: La La Love

Cypriot broadcaster RIK announced already early in the season that they would have themselves represented by X-Factor starlet Ivi Adamou in Baku, discontinuing the not too successful talent show set-up used for selecting their entrant in 2011.

Ivi found herself three songs for a national final, none of which written by local songwriters.

Repeating myself like an old vinyl record with a big scratch in it, I still find it disappointing when countries won't use local talent at Eurovision. Anyone could buy good songs from a publisher, but an ESC final where half the songs are written by Diane Warren and the other half by RedOne would not be a happy prospect in my book.

However, songwriting is turning more international, and the main focus at Eurovision since many years back are the singers anyway. End of rant.

On a first listening, I found all three songs pretty dull and disinteresting, but I must admit that the winner is growing on me.




Ivi Adamou - La La Love (Cyprus 2012)

Not entirely my cup of tea, but I'm beginning to see the potential of a simple but hooky piece of beach party disco that everyone can sing along to from the word go.

It reminds me quite a lot of Turkey's 2009 entry by Hadise with its slightly oriental-flavoured arrangement and steady rhythm.

And there has been worse hooks than a lot of la-la-la's in a row. Don't you agree, Massiel?



Massiel - La La La (Spain 1968)

Song Of The Day: Cyprus 1999

It seemed to be written in the stars that an island nation was going to win the 1999 Eurovision Song Contest held in Jerusalem.

Most media predictions seemed to favour Iceland's Selma to win hands down (possibly facing some stiff competition from Marlayne of the Netherlands) while the loudest group of fans on the still rather new internet forums had their mind set on Cyprus.

Seldom has the voice of the fans spoken so unanimously about one specific song, and in quite an unpleasant way too. There was no room for speculation, no room for opinion. As soon as anyone articulated anything less than praise for the Cypriot song, that somebody was quickly taken down and ripped to shreds.

The Cypriot song seemed to be in with a chance, in all fairness. It did had a slightly confusing structure, starting out as a ballad before turning into a dance anthem, but once it got down to its real self it had a solid chorus and sounded modern enough. But not modern in a way to scare older viewers off.

Unfortunately, this was a battle lost in advance. Marlain proved to be over-styled, over-choreographed and severly over-excited, giving an almost frantic impression while trying to keep her song together. When she started to skid across the higher notes, it left the track in ruins.

In the end, Cyprus scored a mere two points and ended second last. A not too graceful exit for one of the top favourites.

And all the loud fans fell silent for a while...




Marlain - Tha'ne erotas (Cyprus 1999)

Tobson Ranking: #23 Cyprus

Sometimes an ingenious stage show can lift a song to unexpected heights. And sometimes it just gets in the way.



Christos Mylordos - San aggelos s'agapisa (Cyprus 2011)

It was pretty clear from the word go that Cyprus was not going to go very far with a ballad as demanding and un-catchy as this one. It was never really a question of qualification, mainly of performing well and reaching the precious few who would understand the musical qualities of the piece.

Or so I thought.

Instead, Cyprus put on a visually advanced number where Christos and his backing group all defy gravity. You can of course enjoy the technical aspect of it, but I think it rather distracted people from listening.

It is a delicate little ballad, very sweetly sung, and it would benefit from a simpler presentation. Less is more. Trust your song instead.

But the main aspect in this is that Christos Mylordos is a much better performer than the critics claimed beforehand. With a more clear-cut and more accessible song, he could easily have made it to the final.

My grade: 2 / 5

Cyprus 1990: evolution in reverse

After a series of internal and semi-internal selections, Cypriot broadcaster RIK decided to put on a real full-blown national final for the first time in 1990.

The enthusiasm was quite big on home ground, and the winning song was greeted with quite a lot of enthusiasm.



Haris Anastasiou - Milas Poli (Cyprus 1990 national final)

Maybe the voice left a little bit to be desired, but it looked quite right and up to date, and it sounded even more so. Calculated and copied straight off the Stock/Aitken/Waterman drawing board, bien sur, but putting the finger quite precisely on the current musical chart trends.

RIK also made a good and funny preview clip for the song, and more than one follower must have started believing Cyprus could make a bit of a splash in Zagreb.



Anastazio - Milas Poli (Cyprus 1990 preview clip)

But then something went wrong - very wrong - as the team hired the stylist from hell. Or did they hire a stylist at all?

Stretch denim and a tourist t-shirt? Now really?

And while good old Haris had seemingly worked on getting has vocals together, the backing group do their best to shout the whole thing to death. As a result, a perfectly good, up-to-date pop song ends in a pale 14th place.



Anastazio - Milas Poli (Cyprus 1990)

The whole performance lacks the punch and the bounce that the backing track has. And the lack of style would make any jury member reach for the remote.

Anastazio already had ESC experience as a backing dancer for Cyprus in Brussels 1987, he must have noticed already then that it pays off to make a good visual presentation.

So, what's the excuse here?

The 2011 review, part Six

Part six out of nine, reviewing all 43 entries of the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest in Düsseldorf, and we are going through the second semi final.

6. UKRAINE



Mika Newton - Angels (Ukraine 2011)

I have no idea just how they do it. Maybe they get special classes at school, maybe they have a secret button on their remote controls. But Ukraine has a fantastic ability of making their entries come to live when they have to.

Followers of this blog will know how unimpressed I was with the entire national selection in Ukraine, as it turned into a farce for the second year running. How I would have preferred another song, the one that actually recieved the larger number of votes. And here we stand with the song I had labelled as dull and pointless, and I have to admit that it is actually rather good.

Above all, Mika Newton is a sensational performer, the kind that seems to be growing out of each and every bush in Ukraine. Where do they find all these talented people? When she nails all the notes and fixes the camera with her eyes, this song could rise even further and the votes will flow in from all over. Again.

Qualifyer:
Yes. No doubt in my mind that this will look fantastic and sound great. Then you easily forget that the song is maybe not all that to start with.

My grade: 3/5

7. MOLDOVA



Zdob si Zdub - So Lucky (Moldova 2011)

Maybe it is something in the water? Or how do you otherwise explain the sense of sheer madness that often lives and thrives in the Moldovan entires? This is completely bonkers, hard to make head or tail of, and yet it is so entertaining.

Best described (perhaps) as an etno-punk version of Petula Clark's "Don't sleep in the subway" with a breathtaking instrumental break that sound remotely similar to the end of the world, this must be distinct enough to make it to the final. At least if good old Europe has any sense of humour.

Qualifyer:
Probably. It is a mess, but a very entertaining one.

My grade: 3/5

8. SWEDEN



Eric Saade - Popular (Sweden 2011)

Young master Saade had a bit of bad luck in the draw. Had he entered stage after the succession of Austria - Netherlands - Belgium - Slovakia - Ukraine, he would have seemed to young and potent and popstar-like that most viewers would have just fallen over and surrendered. Now Moldova steals his thunder a tiny bit, but that should constitute no large problem.

A much bigger problem is the fact that the song is so obviously aimed at the youngest segments of the audience. I believe the vast majority of the audience is older than seventeen, and they may not necessarily understand the greatness in this. I don't think the juries will swallow this with hook and all either, they could be looking for something slightly more sophisticated.

Qualifyer:
Yes. This snappy young pop singer will have enough fans to make it to the final rather easily. But then there is always the risk that he pulls a Perrelli there. Which, given Sweden's recent track record, wouldn't be so bad.

My grade: 3/5

9. CYPRUS



Christos Mylordos - San aggelos s'agapisa (Cyprus 2011)

In all fairness, I didn't fall head over heels when I heard this the first time. I thought it sounded like a reject from some local musical, but after repeated listenings and a very direct recommendation from a friend whose taste I respect, I found my way inside this pretty complicated construction of a song.

Once you get a grip on it, it is a delicate little piece of drama, sensibly performed by young Christos, whose soft voice really marries the entirety of this song. That won't help much, though. If I needed ten listenings, determined there was something to be found somewhere if I listened carefully enough, then hardly more than a fragment of the audience will find that certain something by accident.

Qualifyer:
No. But it is a pleasant praline for the precious few who will understand the craft.

My grade: 3/5

10. BULGARIA



Poli Genova - Na inat (Bulgaria 2011)

Many people claim that the second semi final is way stronger than the first, but I would not be so sure. Possibly these people are confused by the impressive amount of very distinct performers in this bunch. Poli Genova is another one of those really energetic and enigmatic young people who will just blow up in your face and leave you wondering who they are and why they are not on your screen more often.

Bulgaria's own P!nk has a song that is both demanding and accessible at the same time, but maybe the aggressive song will prove a bit too aggressive in the end.

Qualifyer:
Possibly. Bulgaria has had a hard time convincing Europe of their talent, despite putting on many impressive entries. This is running the risk of being another good Bulgarian effort left in the semis.

My grade: 3/5

Songs we never got to hear: Cyprus 1988

My last post was about Afroditi Fryda who only scored ten points in Dublin 1988 - the lowest score for any Greek entry ever (discounting the 1974 entry, when another points system was used).

Had Cyprus taken part, I am sure they would have awarded some points for her. But the Cypriot Broadcasting Corporation felt obliged to withdraw from the 1988 ESC with rather a short notice since their selected entry broke the rules.

It broke their own domestic rules, that is. The song in question had been entered in the mainly internal Cypriot selection of 1984 where it had reached the third place. It had never been performed in public, but was indeed heard by rather a large jury at the time.

RIK found that more than enough and disqualified it even though it didn't seem to break any piece of EBU regulation. Possibly it was also encumbered by the fact that the composer John Vickers was not a citizen of Cyprus, but that is mere speculation.



Yannis Demetiou - Thimame (Cyprus 1988)

Cyprus had been drawn at the dreaded second slot in the running order, but would that have mattered? What kind of result do you think they would have had with this song had it stayed in the competition?

A ballad for Cyprus

We have known for several months already that Christos Mylordos will take on the task of representing the island of Cyprus at Eurovision this year.

There has been more than a fair amount of talk concerning young Mylordos and his vocal abilities. There has also been talk that RIK in vain has tried talking famous composers into crafting a song for the occasion.

Now the song has been premiered and this is what it looks and sounds like:



Christos Mylordos - San aggelos s'agapisa (Cyprus 2011)

Christos looks rather convincing in this clip and the song suits his voice in a nice way. But the flattery ends there.

The song would probably fit very well in a local musical, but a chorus would have helped a lot. This is a song contest, after all.

Preview clip: a good year for the Hellenic

1992 was indeed a good year for entries in Greek. In fact, the two songs entered in Greek are both big favourites of mine (and possibly the two best songs in the running that year).

They also had very well made preview clips, where the sound is better than the sound technicians managed in Malmö.

So here goes, the two of them. Nostalgia and love!



Kleopatra - Olou tou kosmou i elpida (Greece 1992 preview)



Evridiki - Teriazoume (Cyprus 1992 preview)

And just for the comparison, this is what they sounded and looked like in the blue laser lights in Malmö:



Kleopatra - Olou tou kosmou i elpida (Greece 1992)



Evridiki - Teriazoume (Cyprus 1992)