Tobson's Big ESC 2019 review, part 4

The invention of the semi-final in 2004 was long overdue and almost like a re-birth of the contest in many ways. All through the 1990's countries had been pushed out and forced to miss editions whenever they scored poorly.

Soon enough the ratings started to drop also in the most ESC-loving territories. Finland - always keen on a song contest throughout history - lost interest in a spectacular and dramatic way and the old interest has perhaps never really fully recovered.

Giving all the countries the chance to take part every year they wish to do so has been a very important step forward for the ESC. One of many radical decisions taken between 1997 and 2008.

If you want to read about the entries taking part in the first semi final you can do so in part one, part two and part three. This is the first bunch of songs from semi two.


01 ARMENIA
Srbuk / Walking Out

Although this is just a little contest for mere pop songs, sometimes you want to write A Very Meaningful Lyric about A Very Important Subject. Sometimes it works out nicely, sometimes it will just turn out to be flat, superficial and not very good at all. Female empowerment and toxic relationships are two subjects well worthy of exposure but these songwriters think the answers are simple. In Armenia, however, family is seen as most important and most cases of domestic abuse are swept under the rug. Not so easy to just walk out after all. Superficial lyrics aside, there is quite a good chorus in here and Srbuk turns out to be a vocal powerhouse towards the end.

Qualifier:
Yes. Armenia seldom loses out and vocalists as competent as this usually go down a storm with jurors and viewers alike.

My grade: 3/5


02 IRELAND
Sarah McTernan / 22

Ireland did so well last year and maybe that has inspired them to make braver choices when the RTÉ internal jury sits down to have their say. This is a breezy and radio-friendly little number and despite the aching heart there are few clouds in the sky here. Pleasant, likeable and competently performed. And yet we are light years away from the unbeatable Ireland of the 1990's.

Qualifier:
No. Unless this one turns out to be a real explosion on stage, this will be stranded on 12th place in the semi and remain the best non-qualifier of the year.

My grade: 3/5


03 MOLDOVA
Anna Odobescu / Stay

When Moldova is at their best, they send in hysterically catchy, amusing, energetic entries that leave nobody indifferent. Last year's master class of comedy performance and by far the most feelgood entry of the year is just one out of many examples. When Moldova is at their worst, they make use of some lukewarm dull-as-dishwater standard song written by international songwriters that got rejected everywhere else. Like this year.

Qualifier:
No. This is not disastrously bad in a way that would add some undeliberate entertainment. It is just mind-numbingly anonymous and square, desperately lacking any sort of personality or purpose.

My grade: 1/5


04 SWITZERLAND
Luca Hänni / She Got Me

If you look around the internet you will find a fair share of people willing to bet on Switzerland winning the whole shebang in Tel Aviv. Now wouldn't that be great? Switzerland last made it into the top three back in 1993 and has made it into the top ten only once since then. They surely would deserve a break. I'd let them win at once. Unfortunately I can't fully share the enthusiasm. A good song, but the likes of Malta and Cyprus are doing very much the same thing. And what about Luca himself, will he deliver on the scale that this song needs? Maybe he has it deep down inside but I'm not convinced just yet.

Qualifier:
Yes, absolutely. Even if a few other countries are stealing the Swiss thunder, this is fun and easy-going enough and truly deserves a spot in the final.

My grade: 3/5


05 LATVIA
Carousel / That Night

I can't help but wonder what Aminata is up to these days. Keeping herself busy, I suppose, leaving Latvia to fend for itself. It's not going very well. Even if the new Supernova national final format has resulted in better songs - more focused, more professional and with better performances - they are still not enough to convince the larger audiences. Just like last year, this is really pleasant and a gem designed to be enjoyed in your headphones during a walk but it will be anything but a points magnet.

Qualifier:
No. It will get a few polite points from here and there and remain the second best non-qualifier of the year.

My grade: 3/5


06 ROMANIA
Ester Peony / On A Sunday

Shock and horror ensued last year as Romania crashed out in the semi finals for the first time ever. Apparently this lead to a shake-up back home at the TVR offices and some major changes in ESC management. This year they took a real risk as they reduced viewer influence to a minimum and let an international panel bulldozer the favourite of the people. The eventual winner has a certain something and is not a bad song and yet... it doesn't feel like the sure fire success Team Romania would want at this point.

Qualifier:
Borderline. I lean towards a yes but only because this is Romania and they have a very strong record. Had this been Latvia it would have had 15th place written all over it.

My grade: 2/5


If you want to agree or disagree with me, please leave a comment or send me a tweet. All the preview clips can be seen here.

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Tobson's Big ESC 2018 review, part 2

There is always something to be unhappy about. The fans are in general not fond of the fact that the running order is sequenced by a producer instead of the result of a draw. They would want things to be more random.

However, as the songs were revealed for this year's contest it turned out the first semi seemed way stronger in most people's minds compared to the second semi. This was seen as deeply unfair. Maybe people would want the draw of the semis to be less... random.

This is just the way it happens. It should be no job of a producer to decide what is good and what is bad in order to create a balance between semis. We just have to live with it, I suppose. And these are the final nine songs of the first, stronger semi.

11. FYR MACEDONIA
Eye Cue / Lost And Found

An ambitious entry co-signed by one of the country's most prolific hitmakers - a daring mix of different styles and tempi and sounds all joined together in a three-minute experiment. Would deserve a spot in the final not least because of its sheer nerve and its bravery but that is not how it works.

Qualifier:
No. There are bit too many sudden turns in this entry and the televoters will lose interest before they realise what an interesting piece of music this is.

My grade: 3/5

12. CROATIA
Franka / Crazy

Croatia did pretty well since their comeback two years ago but still nowhere near living up to their potential. This year they internally selected a real pop starlet who revitalised her own career lately. Her entry falls into the popular "Could have been a Bond track"-category and this is a classy piece of craft. Only not engaging enough to break through.

Qualifier:
No. In the second semi it would have qualified but while the song sounds good - and Franka is a solid performer - it lacks that last piece of sparkle needed to turn it into a vote magnet.

My grade: 3/5

13. AUSTRIA
Cesár Sampson / Nobody But You

This one puzzles me as it is quite highly rated by fans. I tend to like Austria way more than most and defend their songs to the bitter end. All I see and hear this year is a decent but pretty anonymous attempt at gospel, performed by somebody who is not exactly burning through the screen.

Qualifier:
No. I don't think it will be enough when placed against a whole bunch of stronger contenders in this semi.

My grade: 1/5

14. GREECE
Yianna Terzi / Oneiro mou

I must applaud Greece for going back to their roots. I love the sound of this as well as the general atmosphere in this entry. Yianna has an enchanting voice and presence and the whole thing brings in an air of older traditional Greek pop that I loved in my youth. I should love this to bits and yet I am not blown away. I don't know what is missing but if I don't get blown away by this, how could I expect anyone else to be?

Qualifier:
Borderline. It will depend very much on the staging but I'm afraid this could turn out to be a flop in the voting.

My grade: 2/5

15. FINLAND
Saara Aalto / Monsters

Some of my initial doubts have blown away. Not all of them, mind you. I still fear some decisions taken concerning styling and choreography and I still doubt Saara's ability to keep her calm when it matters the most. However, this entry is very much helped by its spot in the running order.

Qualifier:
Yes. This is the right song at the right time. Catchy, contemporary and with the right sort of climax.

My grade: 4/5

16. ARMENIA
Sevak Khanagyan / Qami

Another piece of carefully written etno performed in the country's own language. Well sung and with a nice climax towards the end but still lacking something to make it dramatic enough. Having Greece coming so close before it could also be a really bad thing for the Armenians.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Probably yes - Armenia is good at making its way into the final - but it is far from sure. It would be pretty interesting if both Armenia and Azerbaijan would miss the final the same year. Is that when time breaks and the universe melts?

My grade: 2/5

17. SWITZERLAND
Zibbz / Stones

Switzerland never made a name for themselves as a European stronghold for rock music - maybe for a cause - but these siblings moved across the big blue water and made careers for themselves over there. They represent their own homeland with quite some gravity and energy. As a rock song, this is not half bad and far more engaging than any Swiss entry has been for many years.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Which is a good thing for Switzerland. On a good day, they could grab an 8th place and a spot in Saturday's line-up. But then they better not mess up live.

My grade: 3/5

18. IRELAND
Ryan O'Shaughnessy / Together

I saw the really cute video clip and fell headlong both for it and this melodic and uncomplicated little song. It was a nice gesture of the RTÉ to make a clip like this - it is not gay baiting when a straight performer decides to show an lgbt storyline in a clip, folks - and this is clearly the best Irish entry for year and years. And yet...

Qualifier:
Borderline. Probably no. In Lisbon, there will be no clip and everything comes down to how interesting you can make this look on stage. I would be very happy to be positively surprised here.

My grade: 4/5

19. CYPRUS
Eleni Foureira / Fuego

This is where my mixed emotions kick in. The final could definitely do with a commercial pop song like this, but doesn't it sound very much like a track Helena Paparizou would have left off her 2006 album or so? Slightly dated, slightly unsurprising. And how well can Eleni sell this on stage?

Qualifier:
Yes. The advantage of being the last song out will help. But we are hardly bound for Nicosia in 2019.

My grade: 3/5

Find part one of this review here.

Tobson takes a guess: semi 2 in Kyiv

Tuesday's prediction went far better than I would have expected, with the obvious exception of Finland. Instead of a rewarding top ten on Saturday, Norma John found themselves kicked out already before the party had taken off. But nine out of ten makes my prediction pretty good, I suppose.

If the first semi was hard to predict, then semi two is sheer madness. It is full of songs that are fairly similar and fairly equal in strength. Some good songs are taken down by disappointing performances, some mediocre songs are helped by good or at least overwhelming performances. If anyone gets ten countries right in their prediction, I hope they selected their lottery numbers at the same tine.

Again I try to follow the gut feeling and if it is of any use, the following eight will leave us tonight:


SAN MARINO
Goodbye and thank you, Valentina, but you wouldn't believe a song as crammed with key changes as this one could possibly be this static and empty and hopeless.


LITHUANIA
This year's most interesting failure that I in many ways find refreshing. They want so much and are so energetic and in the end of the day it comes to nothing as their chorus couldn't be helped even by a smaller miracle. Intriguing but chanceless.


SWITZERLAND
Personally I am rather fond of this chorus, but the delivery is far too polite and there is too little happening during these three minutes. Unless the juries shower it with love, nobody's going to remember it for long enough to vote for it.


NORWAY
I really warmed to this song myself - especially the quirky verses and the really nifty production details you only notice when listening to it in headphones - but in this tight competition their lack of visual presentation is going to cost them.


SERBIA
Performing first is no problem when you do your thing better than most others - like Sweden did on Tuesday. Serbia's song is nice and impeccably produced but also anonymous and stands out like a penguin surrounded by other penguins.


DENMARK
Will Sweden be the only Nordic country in the final for the second year in a row? Denmark's only hope is that Europe finds the Dutch entry to be too screechy and screamy and self-indulgent. Not impossible - it really is - and find Denmark the better version of the same thing. But I still fear the Danes are losing this battle.


AUSTRIA
Nathan Trent is arguably the most charming performer in this year's contest but the rather disappointing chorus is letting this song down. The question is if any cute staging or glittery moon can compensate for that, especially being sandwiched between two similar entries right at the beginning. I'm afraid not.


MALTA
I have warmed also to this, the most old-fashioned of old-fashioned ESC ballads. Maybe jury and televoters alike will be triggered by a wave of nostalgia and reward this one, but I wouldn't hold my breath for that to happen.


This mean that my ten qualifiers would be - in order of appearance - FYR Macedonia, Romania, Netherlands, Hungary, Ireland, Croatia, Belarus, Bulgaria, Estonia and Israel. This is my mind speaking, not my heart.

I think Croatia is a horrific pile of nonsense but it will stand out. Netherlands is three minutes of dull and soulless harmonising with no melody. Estonia could feel too cold and calculated, FYR Macedonia is only in because Europe managed to recognise Belgium had a great somg despite a shaky performance, Ireland is there because... well. He has a nice balloon.

The performance I am really looking forward to tonight is the happy Belarusians dancing on their boat as well as the terrific Kristian from Bulgaria. I think you will love them both.

Tobson's Big ESC 2017 Review, part 7

Today rehearsals began in Kyiv and I am rushing to get this series done. The whole idea of reviewing songs based on the preview clips is guessing all the things you don't know and try to put together a beautiful puzzle although at least half the pieces are missing or only exist in theory.

When the rehearsals begin for real, the game of guessing and hoping and expecting is through. Here goes with some more guessing and hoping as well as some more songs that are really difficult to predict.

09. IRELAND
Brendan Murray / Dying To Try

My biggest disappointment with this song was that Ireland - this nation of song - felt the need of getting a Swedish song instead of employing local songwriters. I'm slowly getting so fed up with every other song in the ESC being written by Swedes that I am slowly losing my wits and my mind but that's the subject for some other blog post some other time. At first I thought this sounded by a song written for but left out of Agnetha Fältskog's 2013 album, then I realised that's not such a bad thing after all.

Qualifier:
Yes. If boyband boy Brendan can manage all the higher notes, this should sail through to the final relatively easily.

My grade: 3/5



Brendan Murray / Dying To Try (Ireland 2017 preview)

10. SAN MARINO
Valentina Monetta & Jimmie Wilson / Spirit of the Night

Valentina competed three years in a row, then vowed to stay away from the ESC for a long, long time. We can now deduct that a long, long time equals two years for her. Long enough, I suppose. She joined forces with an American musical theatre actor and together they seem to be aiming at acting out their very personal idea of what goes on in night clubs these days. Maybe this is what clubbing is like in San Marino? There is some sort of 1980's vibe, vaguely reminiscent of "Flashdance", in here somewhere but in spite of a never-ending cavalcade of key changes my interest fades terribly quickly.

Qualifier:
Not a chance. Repetitive and only half a song. Or the sketch of a song.

My grade: 1/5



Valentina Monetta & Jimmie Wilson / Spirit of the Night (San Marino 2017 preview)

11. CROATIA
Jacques Houdek / My Friend

From one duet to another as dear Jacques from Croatia decided to step out on the big ESC stage and duet with himself. Part of him is a pop star, half of him is a local Pavarotti and when the two meet words fail me. The pompous song is crowned by equally pompous lyrics, with a fake Einstein quote as the cherry on top. Maybe it could have worked better had Jacques been at least a tiny bit likeable, but I find it very hard to warm to this. Where's the mute button?

Qualifier:
Borderline. Never underestimate the outright ridiculous as people will remember it and easily mistake it for being good. But if there was any justice...

My grade: 1/5



Jacques Houdek / My Friend (Croatia 2017 preview)

12. NORWAY
JOWST / Grab The Moment

Back to the order of the day with a piece of pretty contemporary pop, well grounded in current trends and far from unthinkable on a commercial radio station close to you. JOWST is perhaps a new Kygo in the making and this is above all a strong and most functioning verse. However, the whole song works a lot better when you only hear it. The stage presentation is a bit beige and anonymous and I am not sure anyone can afford that in a semi final as even and close as this one.

Qualifier:
Borderline but I'd say the risk is really big that Norway makes another early exit. The song is clearly better than that but then JOWST & Co need to step up their game a bit.

My grade: 3/5



JOWST / Grab The Moment (Norway 2017 preview)

13. SWITZERLAND
Timebelle / Apollo

Switzerland has had a bit of a bumpy ride lately and has ended last in their semi for the last two years. Maybe their songs were not the worst but in both cases they were anything but memorable and you can't blame neither juries nor Europe for not voting for them. This year they found a much better song - one that worked up a certain amount of fan following too - but the question is if they didn't fall into that same old trap again. While this is catchier and better sung, it still remains to be seen whether it is good and original enough to make anyone vote for it.

Qualifier:
I am afraid not. It is a good song, but still too polite to attract heaving scoring from anywhere. At least it shouldn't place last, if that's any kind of consolation.

My grade: 1/5



Timebelle / Apollo (Switzerland 2017 preview)

Semi 2: 03 Switzerland / The Last Of Our Kind

One old myth that lived on for many years was that the entries to the ESC should, according to the rules, showcase some sort of national trait. If one song this year truly does that, it is this one.

It has turned into a Swiss trait lately to enter this kind of entry. One that is nice and pleasant and totally inoffensive and most certainly bound to sink without a trace in the voting.

It's a bit unfair. The song surely has merits as well as a pleasant melody line but just like its performer it is ultimately too polite to leave any real impression. Nothing about it is bad but nothing is memorable either. Coming this early in the running makes it absolutely no favours.

Am I the only one hoping for Switzerland to send in some heavy metal next year? Or some punk? Or anything with a bit of edge and attitude?

Qualifier:
No. Most certainly not.

My grade: 1/5



Rykka / The Last Of Our Kind (Switzerland 2016 preview clip)

Semi 2: 14 Switzerland

I'll be blunt and say it right away: I have very little to say about the Swiss entry. Mainly because it is yet another polite almost-ballad that isn't bad as such - by this time in semi 2 that kind of entry has really piled up, right? - but escapes me as soon as it finishes.

I listened to it many many times and still have no idea what it sounds like. I have a faint recollection of Mélanie's visual appearance but the song vaporises at once.

Let me instead point out what a silly thing it was for the Swiss to let every performer sing a cover version in addition to their entry in the national final. What difference does it make if somebody can sing another song beautifully if their own song doesn't have what it takes? We don't really need more people who can sing beautifully, we need more star quality and more engaging songs.

Oh sorry, I'm straying from the subject. There's nothing wrong with Mélanie or her voice, but her song just goes on for three minutes before ending. It lacks focus, it lacks ambition, it lacks personality. And that won't do.

Qualifier:
No. I said the same about Sebalter too last year, so maybe I'm equally wrong here. But the Swiss would have to pull out every trick they could think up in order to make this one many people's top favourite.

My grade: 1/5



Mélanie René - My Time To Shine (Switzerland 2015)

Runner-up: Switzerland 1986

Switzerland used to do reasonably well back in the day. That is something that would deserve to be spelled out in capital letters for younger fans - these days the Swiss ditties rarely trouble the voters.

In the mid-80's it wasn't rare or unexpected for Switzerland to make their way into the more respectable areas of the ranking. They landed in top five in 1980, 1981 and 1982, with the 1981 entry even getting really close to winning.

Atilla Sereftug - a Turkish composer living in Switzerland - teamed up with the 1981 lyricist Nella Martinetti and decided to have a go at winning a second Grand Prix for the confederation.

Italian-born Daniela Simons (who later in her career spelt her name Simmons instead) had a massive musical education and had taken part twice in the Swiss national finals, and with "Pas pour moi" she had really found herself a proper vehicle for her voice.

This is a bombastic ballad, classical and modern at the same time, with dramatic verses and a big belter of chorus. Arguably the best Swiss entry of all time. Unfortunately a Belgian 13-year old would stand in the way of victory, but since Switzerland had not been this close to victory since 1963 nobody complained.

The project resulted in more than sweet music - in 1991 Daniela and Atilla got married and a year later their son was born. By then, Atilla and Nella had already achieved their goal of winning the Eurovision Song Contest in Dublin 1988, showcasing a certain Céline Dion to the world in the process.

A deserved 2nd place?
Didn't I just call this the best Swiss entry of all time? Sandra Kim was cute and all, but Daniela Simons was so much better than her. (And so was Sherisse Laurence from Luxembourg too, in all fairness.)



Daniela Simons - Pas pour moi (Switzerland 1986)

Runner-up: Switzerland 1963

Israel wasn't going to debut in its own right until ten years later and hadn't even started regular television broadcasting as yet, but at the 1963 Eurovision Song Contest two Israeli singers were to make quite an impression.

Very rightly so as well. The horrors of the second world war were still an open scar, the state of Israel had only been in existence for fifteen years.

Carmela Corren represented Austria and sang the bilingual "Vielleicht geschieht ein Wunder" to seventh place while Esther Ofarim, representing Switzerland singing in French, did even better and looked like a winner up until the bitter end.

Famously the Norwegian jury had given the wrong scores when first called, and, when called back at the end of the voting, changed their points enough for Denmark to win and leave Esther in second place. The second set of Norwegian votes was the correct one but the victory was still disputed.

Esther Ofarim herself has sometimes in interviews recalled what it was like when she won Eurovision. She almost had a second shot at Eurovision many years later, as Ralph Siegel originally wrote the 1997 German entry "Zeit" with her in mind before offering it to Bianca Shomburg instead.

A deserved 2nd place?
Absolutely. Denmark and Switzerland brought in the two best songs and both of them deserved victory. The Ingmann's won and Esther apparently thinks she won, so let's call it a tie.



Esther Ofarim - T'en va pas (Switzerland 1963)

Runner-up: Switzerland 1958

There are so many things you can say about Lys Assia and Eurovision. She is the first ever winner, of course, but she was also the first internationally established star to take part in this new song contest.

She is also a steady presence, wanting to represent her country again as recently as in 2012. She has been a guest of honour at more ESC editions than even Johnny Logan.

She is one of only four acts to have competed three years in a row.

What people tend to acknowledge less often is that Lys also earned the title as First Lady of Bonkers. Her 1958 entry "Giorgio" is the first really quirky entry to find success in the contest, showing the audience it wasn't necessary to stay calm and composed at any cost.

In a furious tempo, Lys makes her way through the lyrics in a mix of German and Italian, telling the story of a heated meeting by Lago Maggiore between herself and her latin lover where they eat and drink and possibly engage is some other activity as well. Eurovision had never seen a woman as easy as this one and for most of the voting it looked like she'd bag a second victory.

A deserved 2nd place?
Yes. Funny, original and rather risqué for its time. Wouldn't have been a particularly useful winner but is the first wonderful proof that you can be totally crazy in Eurovision and get away with it.



Lys Assia - Giorgio (Switzerland 1958)

Runner-up: Switzerland 1969

Switzerland 1969 has the distinction of being the only runner-up in Eurovision history not to end in second place.

Since the jury system collapsed in a most spectacular way during the live broadcast - ending the 1969 contest not only in a tie but in a tie that included 25% of the participants - and the rule book clearly stated that a tied first place meant a shared victory, then all four winners won and the song in fifth place was the official runner-up.

It's not a bad song at all - catchy and cheerful. Almost as cheerful as the performer herself, ever-smiling Paola.

It also has a very positive set of lyrics and feels like a good way of kicking off the new year. If it could always be as happy and carefree as the mood of "Bonjour, bonjour" it would be nothing short of fantastic.

A deserved runner-up?
It depends how you look at it. The 1969 ESC has quite a few really fine songs that were neglected by the juries - Italy, Belgium, Portugal, Ireland, Norway - and would have deserved this position equally well. But everytime Paola starts singing, I melt a little. So my answer is yes.



Paola - Bonjour, bonjour (Switzerland 1969)

Nobody's favourite but mine, part 2

It seems you good people didn't quite agree with me being the only one to like either of the songs in the first part of this series. Well, I guess I wouldn't be myself if I didn't push my luck and tried to challenge you with five more songs that I sometimes think I'm the only one in the world to care for. Am I?



Gemini - Dai li dou (Portugal 1978)

After a couple of years with serious songs with political undertones, Portugal suddenly decided to send in a wonderfully (annoyingly, according to some) bouncy little song about a kite flying high in the sky. Simple and catchy (or possibly repetitive), performed by another one of these groups of four people, clearly modelled on Abba.

The verses may be a bit clumsy but the chorus is so happy in all its simplicity and the choreography is probably so easy not even I could make a mess of it. Cute.



Cocktail Chic - Européennes (France 1986)

Things weren't exactly running smoothly in France at this point. There had been almost ten years since their last victory and the contest changing hands from TF1 to Antenne2 had resulted in a national final nobody wanted to be part of or associated with. So the best thing they could come up with this year were a bunch of popular backing vocalists who would finally have their big chance of performing as a group.

With styling as impeccable as their vocal delivery (some of those notes are really rather wobbly), the French girls didn't stand a chance during the voting and ended in a pale 17th place while the three other countries singing in French - Belgium, Switzerland and Luxembourg - all made top three.



Gunvor - Lass ihn (Switzerland 1998)

Through the years I have often been better at predicting the last place than picking a winner but this was a nul-pointer I never saw coming. I thought Gunvor had written herself a nice little ditty, perhaps a bit average but still catchy and retainable enough. It even featured Egon Egemann and his white violin, that would surely make an impression?

Despite being up against real non-songs like Spain and Greece, Gunvor somehow managed to cling to her zero points all the way through the voting. Her career, already deeply affected by local scandal newspapers and their shameless publication of pictures and details of some less glamourous aspects of her life, never recovered from this and Gunvor decided to retire from the spotlight. A real shame. And her song wasn't even bad to start with.



Christina Simon - Heute in Jerusalem (Austria 1979)

Eurovision is a circus full of glitter and happiness and more or less obvious attempts at attracting points from all directions. There is nothing wrong with that and I want it to be like that, but it does make it a less suitable arena for people who are actually trying to say something.

Austria thought the final in Jerusalem would be the perfect place to tell the world they would prefer peace instead of war and employed Christina Simon to be their voice in this slow and demanding jazz number. Of course it didn't stand a chance and as Israel and Egypt signed a peace treaty right before the final it even felt less relevant also lyrically. Last place was still really unfair and my question remains the same as ever: what's the point of having juries if they can't recognise quality?



Aleksandra & Konstantin - My Galileo (Belarus 2004)

At first I had no idea how to react to this. Was it really in English? Were those real words? Is it supposed to sound like this? I didn't know what to expect from Belarus in the first place but I most certainly did not expect this. Despite being reluctant at first, it started growing on me with it's odd folksy sound and before Eurovision week in Istanbul was over I had sung this song in front of a small crowd at the Belarusian party and my friend had kissed Aleksandra's feet. A regular day at the Eurovision Song Contest, you know.

Nobody's favourite but mine, part 1

Sometimes I get the impression there is a certain kind of eurovision fan who only watches the contest in order to get to criticise as many things as possible. To just slam every song they hear and rip them to shreds.

I admit it can be great fun to do just that. When you find something that is really terribly bad and you manage to find just the right words to explain why something makes your ears bleed and your heart cry.

It's just that I'm so incredibly fond of liking things. I can often find redeeming factors in most really weird entries and in general I like so many more things than I dislike. So just to prove my point I will present you a number of songs only I like. Here are five songs I like very much to most people's honest surprise and incomprehension.



Afroditi Fryda - Clown (Greece 1988)

Famously, the jury in the national final selected a winner only after pointing out how underwhelming all candidates were and recommending the national tv company to pull out of the competition instead of sending either one to a sure defeat in Dublin. If that anecdote is true - it has been attached to a number of Greek national finals through the years - the jury were not entirely wrong as the song received a grand total of ten points.

I disagreed with juries - business as usual - and found an attractive sadness in between all the compulsive laughter. When I finally saw a translation of the lyrics I realised it was all in my head as there wasn't the slightest trace of ambiguity or darkness. I still love it anyway. Ha ha ha ha!



George Nussbaumer - Weils dr guat got (Austria 1996)

Eurovision and gospel music has always been a hard nut to crack. Quite a few entrants have tried through the years without really getting it right. It becomes a bit too polished and soft and harmless to leave any real traces or reveal any deeper emotion. Except perhaps for this bunch of crazy Austrians.

The song is perhaps not all that remarkable in itself and I wasn't really blown away by the preview clip, but the live performance is the closest thing we ever came to a perfect re-enactment of a tropical hurricane. The backing group - including Stella Jones and Bettina Soriat who both represented their country as solo singers in the 90's - become so incredibly animated and worked-up that you suspect the hall will run out of oxygen before the song is over. Not everyone's cup of tea but I find it irresistible.



Oleksandr - Hasta la vista (Ukraine 2003)

Isn't it strange that Ukraine - famous for doing everything right in the ESC - would start out by getting more or less everything wrong in their debut entry? The cheesy lyrics, the old-fashioned arrangement, the Kermit-the-frog-at-the-opera vocals and the most peculiar dancer in the background. It is all so puzzling. What were they thinking? Were they convinced they had a winner on their hands? The worst part still is that I've grown remarkably fond of it over the years. For all the wrong reasons, mind you. But very fond all the same.



Modern Folk Trio & Aysegül - Dönme dolap (Turkey 1981)

I'm surprisingly easy at times, I have to admit to that. Shake a piece of homemade disco muzak Made in Turkey in front of me and my knees will turn into jelly. If it is performed by three distinguished gentlemen in white, accompanied by a cheerful lady, performing a choreography that should be simple but that seems to pose a real challenge for the group, I'll be even happier. If you top it with a shockingly nonsense set of lyrics - stating that life is a merry-go-round as it goes up and then down again - I'll just roll over and admit I'm defeated.



Daisy Auvray - Mister Music Man (Switzerland 1992)

This is what I suppose happened: Poor Daisy didn't get out much and this time she decided to really live the moment to the fullest. She had enjoyed a glass of wine or two and felt lovely and vibrant and alive and wanted the whole world to know. She grabbed a microphone, decided to put her happiness into song and asked the band to strike up an old-fashioned sound that would suit her perfectly. How was poor Daisy to know this was not a karaoke bar at all but the Swiss national final?

Seriously, though. This was so violently out of sync with any kind of musical trend or fashion back then, but time has been really kind to this in comparison to many other entries from the same year. Perhaps not the best song there ever was, but the whole performance is sweet. And endearing. And that must be worth something too.

Nobody can smile like Paola

I'll be brutally honest with you. I don't think Sebalter from Switzerland will have the shadow of a chance in his semi final in Copenhagen. Perhaps he is cute, perhaps the violin makes him stand out, perhaps the whistle is a clever hook. I even heard someone say he could qualify because he has such a nice smile.

Dear people - his smile is nice but when it comes to smiling widely and beautifully no Swiss person will ever get close to beating Paola del Medico, who beamed like Mother Sun from the Eurovision stage twice.



Paola - Bonjour bonjour (Switzerland 1969)

If you are not really to believe Paola is truly happy to see you during this cheerful greeting set to music, then you won't believe many things in this world. The wide smile and the cheerfulness turned into Paola's special trademark and when she came back to represent Switzerland a second time eleven years later she had fine-tuned her art into perfection.



Paola - Cinéma (Switzerland 1980)

I can hardly imagine how a song could be bouncier than this and Paola made it into an honourable fourth place out of nineteen countries. As her singing career faded a bit, her winning personality made its way into television instead where she for many years presented light-hearted entertainment shows together with her husband Kurt Felix.

She also made two attempts at representing Germany at Eurovision - in 1979, she made it to third place with the elegant Vogel der Nacht and in 1982 she was the only one giving Nicole a real run for her money in the national heat. But perhaps Peter Pan would have been a bit too bouncy, sweet and smiley even for Eurovision?



Paola - Peter Pan (Germany NF 1982)

Semi 2: 12 Switzerland

A young man armed with expressive eyes and a violin sounds like a recipe for success at Eurovision. But in all fairness Alexander Rybak had something this chap is lacking. Quite a few things, actually.



Sebalter - Hunter of Stars (Switzerland 2014)

If you're not paying proper attention, watching with only half an eye and half an ear, you could easily mistake this for being quite a good entry. It has many clever little ingredients that are easy to like: the violin, the whistle hook, the friendly face of the singer.

Sebalter is cute and has an OK voice but his national final performance showed he is not enough of an artist to keep a song like this together. He gives an over-excited performance with his overwhelming nervous energy spilling all over the place. An intense look is good, a frantic one is less appealing.

Maybe anyone would look that nervous if we had to perform a song like this. It's almost a good song but severely underdeveloped. Every time it almost takes off it interrupts itself and in spite of the efficient whistle hook there is nothing much to remember here.

Qualifier: No. There is no other song in this semi that has "non-qualifier" written all over it in capital letters like this one has. Not the worst one, only the least likely to qualify.

My grade: 2/5

Switzerland: atrocious but efficient

Switzerland selects its entry for Copenhagen this weekend. The line-up consists of six songs, most of which are very typical Swiss eurovision entries. And that is unfortunately not a compliment.

The Swiss often go for very inoffensive little songs, sung by polite performers who are all very careful as not to upset or disturb anyone. That's how you get forgotten really easily. So I am about to give the Swiss a piece of advice I never thought I would give a number of weeks ago, when I heard the songs for the first time.

When I first heard Together Forever by 3 For All, I couldn't believe my ears. It was so stupidly cheerful and aggressively optimistic and happy that I lost my breath and decided I never wanted to hear it again.

And then it kept playing in my head. And when I listened to it again, it is still stupidly cheerful and aggressively optimistic but also catchy. And a bit tongue in cheek. And a bit funny. Atrocious but efficient.

If the group can keep the same approach on stage and not be too serious about their "save-the-world"-lyrics, this could be quite a fun little number in Copenhagen.

PS! If you select Yasmina Hunzinger with her well-sung but dull-as-dishwater ballad, you are toast.



3 For All - Together Forever (Switzerland NF 2014)

Switzerland 1985: a big name is not enough

I do like it when established names show up at Eurovision. They bring attention and a press following and a natural spotlight they can also share with some of the less known contenders. I for one think the presence of some established acts is vital to the contest.

But a big name alone is not enough, just like Switzerland proved in 1985.

There was quite a bit of enthusiasm when the news broke that Anita Kerr had composed the Swiss entry for Gothenburg. Anita Kerr was the leader and arranger behind the legendary Anita Kerr Singers, she had written books and had received a Grammy Award and was - arguably - one of the most influential women in the history of showbiz. She also became the third - and last - woman to conduct an entry at the Eurovision Song Contest.

Just too bad that the song wasn't all too special. Not bad but not breathtaking enough to be composed by a living legend. A competent little schlager - surely not the worst Switzerland ever took to Eurovision - and an ode to a Swiss German kind of love where you keep a lid on your emotions and passions in order not to let them get in the way of your rational lifestyle.

Pino and Mariella perform it well and the last chorus, where they intertwine the chorus with the verse, is pretty elegant. I always liked it, but it is far from being that everlasting evergreen many people seem to have expected.



Pino Gasparini & Mariella Farré - Piano Piano (Switzerland 1985)

Song of the Day: Switzerland 1974

Switzerland is another one of those countries who often bring out their little song into the Eurovision spotlight and you never know what the audience will make of it. Complete hit or miss. Sometimes pointless Swiss entries get loads of points (although it has been a while since this happened last) and sometimes brilliant little songs get completely overlooked for no apparent reason.

And this is where I want to hold up Piera Martell and cry for justice. What were the juries really thinking back in 1974?

According to her Eurovision biography, former construction worker Piera admired singers like Streisand and Minnelli and wanted to bring a flavour of that into the contest. I think her attempt comes pretty close.



Piera Martell - Mein Ruf nach Dir (Switzerland 1974)

Her song is admittedly a very classical schlager ballad that must have felt a bit old-school already back in Brighton, but what does it matter when it is as well crafted as this one? A delicious intro turns into a short verse that builds up to the big chorus and an even bigger finish, following a very fine key change. All presented in a classy green dress and a sense of drama in the delivery.

Three points was all it was worth according to the juries. Shared last place. Unbelievable.

In spite of this miscalculation, Piera had quite a good career in Switzerland throughout the 70's and even participated in the 1976 German pre-selection before retiring from the industry in 1981.



Piera Martell - Mein Ruf nach Dir (studio version)

Liechtenstein and Eurovision

As stated in my last post, the song "Un beau matin" by Vetty was a Eurovision parody and not - as stated on the record sleeve - the 1969 Liechtenstein entry for Eurovision. But what do we know about the tiny state and their relationship to the ESC, then?

Flag from Wikipedia

It is known that Liechtenstein made a brave attempt to participate at the 1976 Eurovision and that a song - "Little Cowboy" performed by Biggi Bachmann - was selected for the purpose. Reliable sources even claim that the song was selected by the national parliament, supposedly on a day without too heavy items on the political agenda.

However, disappointment hit Vaduz as the EBU rejected their entry. The ESC is a competition not between countries but between EBU member broadcasters and as Liechtenstein didn't even have a national radio station at the time they were hopelessly left out in the cold.

The same reliable sources claim that Switzerland - in a grand gesture - offered to compete under the name of "Switzerland & Liechtenstein" in The Hague. Dutch tv rejected the idea as the long name wouldn't fit on the scoreboard.

Biggi Bachmann continued her career, releasing at least two singles, and participated in the 1979 Swiss final where she ended second last singing "Musik Musik". After that traces of her are scarce, leading me to believe neither one of her singles propelled her into any major grade of stardom. As far as I know, "Little Cowboy" was neither recorded nor ever made public in any way.

In 2008, Liechtenstein became the last european country to have their own tv station. 1FLTV is strictly speaking not a state broadcaster but a private channel, however have they voiced an ambition to join the EBU as well as the Eurovision Song Contest. To date, these plans have come to nothing.

Unlike what is stated here and there online, 1FLTV has never been rejected by the EBU. They have simply never applied to be an active member, for reasons best known to themselves. In these grim times of financial crises, it seems likely that the owners would be reluctant to plunge headlong into any costly projects.

Until they have a change of heart, Liechtenstein remains the only independent and internationally recognised state in Europe not to have participated in the Eurovision Song Contest, alongside the Vatican state.

Semi 2: these are my ten qualifiers

If there was pressure to predict the first semi final then this second one feels like a nightmare for various reasons. Mainly because it all seems very open and I have no idea whether to predict with my heart or with my head.

I feel sure about five of ten qualifiers, perhaps. Then it feels like the placings 6 - 16 or so are one big grand lottery. How will the points spread between the candidates? If they spread enormously you might need less points than ever to make top ten tonight. Then a couple of high points could be enough. Which opens up for basically anyone.

But again - I repeat my old mantra that this is just a game and nothing to be taken too seriously. If I tell myself that a number of times I might believe it in the end.

1. LATVIA Here We Go / PeR
Just like Austria, this is a very good opening number and for a long time I thought this would be the happy pill that would appeal to the audience in the end. But I thought the same about Trackshittaz last year. You've got to learn sometime.
Qualifier: No

2. SAN MARINO Crisalide / Valentina Monetta 
This is where the real prediction nightmare starts. If you are not a eurovision fan and you don't know how much Valentina improved since last year, all you are left with as a ballad that never fully develops and a dated beat from the Siegel factory, which hasn't worked since 1999. This prediction is more based on me wanting to see San Marino on a scoreboard for once. Heart wins over head.
Qualifier: Yes

3. FYR MACEDONIA Pred da se razdeni / Esma & Lozano
I still think this is a dismal song that merely uses Esma as a special effect and nothing more, but you could have way worse special effects than her. And I'd rather have her than many others on offer tonight.
Qualifier: Yes

4. AZERBAIJAN Hold Me / Farid Mammadov
A weak song enhanced by technology, pretty much like last year's Azeri entry. Of course it will work, at least at this point.
Qualifier: Yes

5. FINLAND Marry Me / Krista Siegfrieds
Catchy, instant, over the top, girl on girl kissing, wedding dress. This one will stay in the audience's mind and will sail into the final. Well done, girl.
Qualifier: Yes

6. MALTA Tomorrow / Gianluca
A very charming song with a very charming singer has, reportedly, turned unnecessarily dull and not striking enough on stage. I still want to think that an ukulele and eyes as charming as Gianluca's will be enough, but I'm not sure at all.
Qualifier: Yes

7. BULGARIA Samo shampioni / Elitsa & Stoyan
Despite liking them a lot in Helsinki six years ago, I did not predict them to qualify, neither did I see their top five placing coming in advance. So maybe the trick will work again, despite this song lacking everything that made "Voda" good. But I don't think so.
Qualifier: No

8. ICELAND Ég á líf / Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson
This is a pretty little ballad in many ways. Iceland has a way of squeezing themselves into the final where they ultimately don't do so well. It could work this time around as well, but the battle for ballad points is ferocious and Iceland would need a large portion of luck to make it this time.
Qualifier: No

9. GREECE Alcohol Is Free / Koza Mostra feat Agathonas Iakovidis
This is another truly divisive song that certain people will detest, but temper, attitude, forza and dancing musicians dressed in kilts will win in the end.
Qualifier: Yes

10. ISRAEL Rak bishvilo / Moran Mazor
One week ago I predicted that Iceland would make it and Israel would not. Today I swap them around. I still think the song would need more of a climax - I expect more than it ever delivers every time I hear it - but think Moran's intensity will beat the Icelandic cool in the end. And I doubt there is room for them both in the final.
Qualifier: Yes

11. ARMENIA Lonely Planet / Dorians
I really hate bringing up the subject of diaspora voting, but the Armenian Head of Delegation mentioned it herself in their press conference this week. In my mind, this is the weakest song of the second semi, but will potential friendship points be enough to take it to the final. For the sake of this competition, I hope not.
Qualifier: No

12. HUNGARY Kedvesem / ByeAlex
This is one of my top favourites this year. But I think this introverted but brilliant little gem will be too demanding from a grand audience on a Thursday night and that it could very well mean ByeHungary in the end. I would love to be wrong on this one, but I don't see it happening.
Qualifier: No

13. NORWAY I Feed You My Love / Margaret Berger
After all these question marks it feels wonderful to be this sure again. Norway is a potential winner this year and is a sure qualifier tonight.
Qualifier: Yes

14. ALBANIA Identitet / Bledar Sejko & Adrian Lulgjuraj
I like these rockers, I like their song and I like their sound. But just like in 2011, I think this will be a bit too much for Europe. Unfortunately.
Qualifier: No

15. GEORGIA Waterfall / Nodi & Sophie
Big voices and a big - albeit predictable - ballad. Will work wonders and steal lots and lots of points and ruin the chances for most other ballad entries - how many are there room for besides this one?
Qualifier: Yes

16. SWITZERLAND You And Me / Takasa
Alongside Armenia, my least favourite song in this semi. Three minutes of very little action and very little else. The big question is if people are prepared to vote for a group just because they feature the oldest person ever on a eurovision stage. And again, for the sake of this competiton, I hope the answer is no.
Qualifier: No

17. ROMANIA It's My Life / Cezar
Is this a good song? No, not particularly. Will people laugh at Cezar tonight? Quite a few will, yes. But perhaps the final needs a performance like this. To ensure entertainment value for everyone.
Qualifier: Yes

So these are my ten qualifiers tonight: San Marino, FYR Macedonia, Azerbaijan, Finland, Malta, Greece, Israel, Norway, Georgia and Romania. My heart is bleeding for Hungary, but I really don't dare hope that they will make it.

Am I sure? Not the least. Azerbaijan, Greece, Norway, Georgia and Finland will be in the final. Everything else is up for grabs. If I have more than five right tonight, that will be a victory in itself.

So bring it on, prove me wrong!

Semi 2: 16 Switzerland

After the success of the Russian babushki last year, Switzerland thought they had found a clever follow-up by sending an entire bunch of Salvation Army members to Malmö. If only they had read the rules first.



Takasa - You And Me (Switzerland 2013)

The EBU rulebook clearly prohibits any commercial, political or religious messages on the eurovision stage and the band formerly known as Heilsarmee had to ditch their uniforms as well as their band name.

A good move, I must say. I wouldn't want the ESC flooded with "messages" that the respective broadcasters might find useful. No thank you.

At least the Swiss band got to keep one gimmick - the oldest performer ever in the ESC - and their winning song is in tact. For what it is worth.

The song starts quite well and the simple chorus has obvious singalong qualities that could rock an audience after a number of songs that could be harder to hum in the shower the next day. However, the verses are mawkish and the song displays a complete lack of development.

As this little number never takes off it makes three minutes feel more like seven.

Qualifier:
Only if Europe is in desperate need of a sweet and cheerful ditty at this point. Otherwise this is a big no.

My grade: 1/5