Tobson's Big ESC 2019 review, part 3

Since 2013, the running order is no longer the result of a draw. Someone involved in the production instead sequences the songs in order to make a smooth presentation and - hopefully - "good tv".

In many ways it was a good decision. When there are 26 songs, the viewers need a good running order to make it through. When the seventh standard ballad invades the stage - this happened more than a few times when we had a proper draw - few viewers enjoy themselves and start reaching for the remote control. Sequencing is a good thing when done well.

However, since 2013 the same person - Sweden's Christer Björkman - has done the sequencing on at least five occasions and maybe that is beginning to shine through. Should there be a clause saying that the responsibility for the running order cannot be held by the same person too many times?

If you want to check out my opinions on the other songs of this semi, you find them in part one and part two.


13 ICELAND
Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra

One of the problems with the ESC is that it is a contest and most people taking part in it would like to be liked and appreciated and voted for. A lineup where everyone is constantly on their best behaviour can be a bit dull. Lucky break then that Iceland is back to form, ready to shake things up with this warning from the future where everything dear to us is broken down and hate will prevail. This contains more sharp edges than we've seen for years and this is likely to offend as many as it will please.

Qualifier:
Yes, absolutely. It must be. Had the live singing been better in the chorus, this could even have been a potential winner.

My grade: 4/5


14 ESTONIA
Victor Crone / Storm

Victor Crone was a delightful sidekick to Behrang Miri in Melodifestivalen 2015 and I have found myself wondering whatever happened to him after that. I never thought he would show up in Estonia, defending the worst kind of washed-up and bleak radio pop of the kind certain commercial radio stations can never get enough of. What a shame. And how terribly disappointing it is seeing Stig Rästa writing something like this when we all know what he is capable of.

Qualifier:
You never know as a large section of the audience really enjoys stuff like this. Or why would they listen to those radio stations in question? Still, my gut feeling tells me this is just too forgettable to go anywhere. It's a no from me.

My grade: 1/5


15 PORTUGAL
Conan Osiris / Telemovéis

Portugal finally scored their first victory in 2017 and now an unusually large part of the fandom think they could be heading for a repeat run. Talk about getting your mojo working! This is a very experimental track with musical influences from here and there and everywhere, suggestively performed by Conan and his dancer. Maybe it is absolutely brilliant but this one keeps flying well over my head. I'd love to love Portugal but to me this is just three minutes of posing and an attempt to make yourself more interesting than you are. I hear the qualities but the final package is not my thing.

Qualifier:
Yes. I bet all its fans out there are right in some way. It should be in the final and will be in the final. Then it is anyone's guess how well it will work there.

My grade: 2/5


16 GREECE
Katerine Duska / Better Love

Iceland finally found their way back on track and so did Greece, apparently. After several years of half-hearted attempts - it must be hard to keep focus while your government first dismantles your public broadcaster, then revives it again - we finally get a focus and contemporary entry, radio friendly and with hit potential. The only problem here is perhaps that it is so much of a radio song that it won't shake audiences enough to get the highest points but this one should have some solid scoring ahead of itself anyway.

Qualifier:
Yes. Clearly. One of the best songs in the running.

My grade: 4/5


17 SAN MARINO
Serhat / Say Na Na Na

Isn't the last place usually reserved for something really good and therefore we could be pretty sure that whoever gets that spot is a sure qualifier? Wrong. That's not how it works. Sometimes the last spot is also a way to keep something unappealing out of sight for as long as possible, to ensure viewers will stay tuned until the end and not zap to another channel. In San Marino's case, however, that can still work to their advantage. A man in his 50's with a message that everything will be good if you sing a happy tune is pretty ridiculous. But after many competitors taking themselves Very Seriously Indeed, this could come across as a very happy and unpretentious closing point. If you don't know what to vote for by now, maybe Serhat will feel like your man.

Qualifier:
I am going to say yes. The happy and lightweight factor could very well be just enough for San Marino to conquer the tenth place. It would be sweet if they did.

My grade: 2/5


UKRAINE (Not participating)
Maruv / Siren Song

It's hard to keep this contest as unpolitical as the EBU would want it to be and even harder when some active participants find themselves at war. The winner of the long Ukranian national final found herself humiliated on live television and then blackmailed by the national broadcaster: if she didn't publicly severe ties with her (Russian) management and record label, she would be disqualified. She refused and the plan backfired spectacularly as all other NF participants refused to take Maruv's place. NTU pulled out of the contest altogether.

A really stupid move as this would have been this year's game changer and the entry that would have blown the likes of Cyprus, Switzerland and Iceland out of the water. Sexy and catchy, yet with a very dark undercurrent of menace, it would have troubled and enthused the masses. A great loss for the contest but if the NTU is going to keep bullying their own participants in this way there is no need for them to come back at all.

Question:
Why are so many of the songs pulled out of the competition like that brilliant? Broadcasters could pull out with their Piero Esteriore-entries instead.

My grade: 5/5


If you want to agree or disagree with me, please leave a comment or send me a tweet. All the preview clips can be seen here.

Tweet to @TobsonHelsinki

Tobson's Big ESC 2018 review, part 2

There is always something to be unhappy about. The fans are in general not fond of the fact that the running order is sequenced by a producer instead of the result of a draw. They would want things to be more random.

However, as the songs were revealed for this year's contest it turned out the first semi seemed way stronger in most people's minds compared to the second semi. This was seen as deeply unfair. Maybe people would want the draw of the semis to be less... random.

This is just the way it happens. It should be no job of a producer to decide what is good and what is bad in order to create a balance between semis. We just have to live with it, I suppose. And these are the final nine songs of the first, stronger semi.

11. FYR MACEDONIA
Eye Cue / Lost And Found

An ambitious entry co-signed by one of the country's most prolific hitmakers - a daring mix of different styles and tempi and sounds all joined together in a three-minute experiment. Would deserve a spot in the final not least because of its sheer nerve and its bravery but that is not how it works.

Qualifier:
No. There are bit too many sudden turns in this entry and the televoters will lose interest before they realise what an interesting piece of music this is.

My grade: 3/5

12. CROATIA
Franka / Crazy

Croatia did pretty well since their comeback two years ago but still nowhere near living up to their potential. This year they internally selected a real pop starlet who revitalised her own career lately. Her entry falls into the popular "Could have been a Bond track"-category and this is a classy piece of craft. Only not engaging enough to break through.

Qualifier:
No. In the second semi it would have qualified but while the song sounds good - and Franka is a solid performer - it lacks that last piece of sparkle needed to turn it into a vote magnet.

My grade: 3/5

13. AUSTRIA
Cesár Sampson / Nobody But You

This one puzzles me as it is quite highly rated by fans. I tend to like Austria way more than most and defend their songs to the bitter end. All I see and hear this year is a decent but pretty anonymous attempt at gospel, performed by somebody who is not exactly burning through the screen.

Qualifier:
No. I don't think it will be enough when placed against a whole bunch of stronger contenders in this semi.

My grade: 1/5

14. GREECE
Yianna Terzi / Oneiro mou

I must applaud Greece for going back to their roots. I love the sound of this as well as the general atmosphere in this entry. Yianna has an enchanting voice and presence and the whole thing brings in an air of older traditional Greek pop that I loved in my youth. I should love this to bits and yet I am not blown away. I don't know what is missing but if I don't get blown away by this, how could I expect anyone else to be?

Qualifier:
Borderline. It will depend very much on the staging but I'm afraid this could turn out to be a flop in the voting.

My grade: 2/5

15. FINLAND
Saara Aalto / Monsters

Some of my initial doubts have blown away. Not all of them, mind you. I still fear some decisions taken concerning styling and choreography and I still doubt Saara's ability to keep her calm when it matters the most. However, this entry is very much helped by its spot in the running order.

Qualifier:
Yes. This is the right song at the right time. Catchy, contemporary and with the right sort of climax.

My grade: 4/5

16. ARMENIA
Sevak Khanagyan / Qami

Another piece of carefully written etno performed in the country's own language. Well sung and with a nice climax towards the end but still lacking something to make it dramatic enough. Having Greece coming so close before it could also be a really bad thing for the Armenians.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Probably yes - Armenia is good at making its way into the final - but it is far from sure. It would be pretty interesting if both Armenia and Azerbaijan would miss the final the same year. Is that when time breaks and the universe melts?

My grade: 2/5

17. SWITZERLAND
Zibbz / Stones

Switzerland never made a name for themselves as a European stronghold for rock music - maybe for a cause - but these siblings moved across the big blue water and made careers for themselves over there. They represent their own homeland with quite some gravity and energy. As a rock song, this is not half bad and far more engaging than any Swiss entry has been for many years.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Which is a good thing for Switzerland. On a good day, they could grab an 8th place and a spot in Saturday's line-up. But then they better not mess up live.

My grade: 3/5

18. IRELAND
Ryan O'Shaughnessy / Together

I saw the really cute video clip and fell headlong both for it and this melodic and uncomplicated little song. It was a nice gesture of the RTÉ to make a clip like this - it is not gay baiting when a straight performer decides to show an lgbt storyline in a clip, folks - and this is clearly the best Irish entry for year and years. And yet...

Qualifier:
Borderline. Probably no. In Lisbon, there will be no clip and everything comes down to how interesting you can make this look on stage. I would be very happy to be positively surprised here.

My grade: 4/5

19. CYPRUS
Eleni Foureira / Fuego

This is where my mixed emotions kick in. The final could definitely do with a commercial pop song like this, but doesn't it sound very much like a track Helena Paparizou would have left off her 2006 album or so? Slightly dated, slightly unsurprising. And how well can Eleni sell this on stage?

Qualifier:
Yes. The advantage of being the last song out will help. But we are hardly bound for Nicosia in 2019.

My grade: 3/5

Find part one of this review here.

Tobson's Big ESC 2017 Review, part 3

One of my problems through the years as I have done my big review is to make the numbers add up and even out in the end as I predict whether a song is a qualifier or not. Some year I ended up with twelve qualifiers in the same semi.

Maybe this is not an exact science. The conclusion - will this qualify or not - is maybe more of a gut feeling rather than the ultimate analysis. There will be a time for ultimate analysis as well - closer to the final, when we know about rehearsals and stuff - and then my predicted qualifiers will be no more then ten per semi.

10. GREECE
Demy / This Is Love

It probably shook the Greek delegation to miss out on a place in the final last year, so they went back to the safest thing they could think of. They organised a small national final where Demy - who's a bit of a star back home - sung three songs written by top composer and producer Dimitris Kontopoulous who had his fair share of success at Eurovision and almost won the whole shebang for Russia last year. The big question mark here is why a good performer like Demy couldn't get a better song than this tired old charter disco? If Kontopoulous is such a genius, how did he fail to come up with something strong than this pretty dated song?

Qualifier:
Borderline. There are good elements here - the verses build nicely and the orchestral crescendo before the last chorus is cool. Greece is the only country in this semi turn up with a party vibe on top volume. But the chorus is super duper flat and disappointing.

My grade: 2/5



Demy / This Is Love (Greece 2017 preview)

11. POLAND
Kasia Moś / Flashlight

Poland always had a thing for drama and this ballad comes in an excellent arrangement with intriguing strings and a very big drum sound to increase the effect. Kasia is a good singer too but this song would have needed an extra minute to fully unfold. Now it just builds and builds and then suddenly ends without reaching any kind of climax. The bridge between the verse and the chorus is a bit clumsy and clunky too. But maybe none of this will matter in the end.

Qualifier:

Probably yes. Last year, Poland ended third in the televote with a slightly underwhelming entry and unless the Poles in exile around the continent have taken their enthusiasm down a notch or two, this one should storm into the top ten. If it deserves to is another question entirely.

My grade: 2/5

Kasia Moś / Flashlight (Poland 2017 preview)

12. MOLDOVA

SunStrike Project / Hey Mamma

Usually a quite strong player, Moldova has three rough years behind them and would deserve a break and some positive vibes. To achieve that, they re-remployed SunStroke Project who in all fairness didn't do too well on their first attempt but ended up being a worldwide internet phenomenon. Now they stand on their own - sadly no Olia Tira in sight - but still have the saxophone and the violin at hand to spice up the package. Plenty of good mood and quirky dance moves but the song in itself is a bit square and unspectacular and gets a bit too repetitive for its own good.

Qualifier:

Borderline. Europe will have to be at its chirpiest to vote heavily for this. Perhaps too much of a recycled version of something seen and heard before to do really well. Enjoyable but old news.

My grade: 3/5

SunStroke Project / Hey Mamma (Moldova 2017 preview)

13. ICELAND

Svala / Paper

After what seemed like an endless stream of perfectly well intended and totally harmless ditties, Iceland found their groove again. Nobody could be happier about that than I am and I welcome the oddly captivating Svala onto the ESC stage. However, she did have some bad luck when she was drawn into the same semi as some other females inhabiting the same sort of dark and moody electro soundscape and she will have to compete with the likes of Belgium, Azerbaijan and Latvia for the viewers' attention. That could prove to be a bumpier ride than it should be.

Qualifier:

I sure hope so but there is also the risk of this one being three points short and ending in eleventh place. I keep my fingers crossed that the gamble will pay off and that we will see more edge from Iceland in future contests. Edge is what they do best.

My grade: 4/5

Svala / Paper (Iceland 2017 preview)

14. CZECH REPUBLIC

Martina Bárta / My Turn

Compared to their first short and disastrous run of entries, also Czech republic seems to have found their own thing. Soulful, earthy, organic stuff delivered by top class singers. The kind of thing that is lovely to listen to but that possibly stands a lesser chance of getting noticed and voted at a song contest. Martina has a wonderful voice and this could have been a very classy track on a very solid album in the late 1970's. That is a compliment, in case you wondered.

Qualifier:

No, unless Martina totally pours her heart out for all the viewers to see. Then she could stand a tiny chance, but most probably this piece of impeccable songwriting needs a listen or two too many and will make an early exit.

My grade: 3/5

Martina Bárta / My Turn (Czech republic 2017 preview)

Semi 1: 02 Greece / Utopian Land

One day sooner or later everyone is going to fail. Since the introduction of semi finals in 2004, Greece has not missed a single final. A fantastic achievement for a country that had never placed better than 5th prior to 2001.

Lately things have not been going as swimmingly. The Greek entries made it to the finals but failed to impress there and I got the feeling it was maybe just a matter of time until the Greeks would get stuck in the semi. Maybe the day has come.

While there are many things to like here - the rap part is likeable and the ethnic elements feel classy - the chorus is a big fat Greek letdown and the package just isn't working like it should.

Qualifier:

No. Unless this comes wrapped in the most sensational stage show we've seen, this is unlikely to do well. Would even Cyprus warm to this one?

My grade: 1/5

Argo / Utopian Land (Greece 2016 preview clip)

December 3: Anna Vissi

Anna Vissi had quite an OK little career going on in the 1980's. Nothing compared to what she would achieve a few years later when she would turn into Official Queen of Everything and become one of the top players of Greek entertainment.

She entered the Greek final in 1989 without doing particularly well. "Kleo" was a good little soft rocker of a kind that was popular around that time, but the version used here is just a demo and you can tell.

Maybe this could have turned interesting had it been given a facelift and a restyling. Rock songs were in short supply in Lausanne and given there had been a powerful backing track - as that Swiss orchestra wasn't all that rock'n'roll to start with - Anna could have had a chance of scoring heavily from the jurors who couldn't stand yet another ballad.



Anna Vissi - Kleo (Greece NF 1989)

Denmark and the bad surprise

When I wrote my preview review I was pretty convinced Denmark would dance into the final with ease, just thanks to being catchy, happy and easily accessible. By now I start to realise I'm pretty alone in assuming that.

Not that I don't really care what others predict - I prefer clinging to my own conclusions - but let's just say I'm amused that everybody suddenly grew tired of this ever-smiling Danish style of Eurosong. Why now?

I thought the style was tiresome already back in "Twist of Love" was a typical song written only for Eurovision and with no chance of a life outside the contest. "All Night Long" was even more tedious but made it to the final anyway. This year, for me, at least felt a little bit more real and enjoyable.

It does seem to follow the Danish pattern, though. Find a formula, stick to it for years, and when it seems to be working its best then suddenly the whole thing collapses. Denmark did the same after their last victory - two years later their package didn't work and flunked mercilessly in 2002.

Just like "Haba Haba" in 2011, this song feels like it is too long. By the end it just keeps going and going, and maybe Denmark is in for a bad surprise. It's been a long time since they last failed in a semi final.

I still think the risk is even greater for another country that grew used to doing well. Unless Greece can work up a close to life-threatening amount of radiation, their ballad should be in real danger of elimination. Maybe both Greece and Denmark will have a sweaty night before the tenth envelope has been opened in the first semi.



Malene - Tell Me Who You Are (Denmark 2002)

Semi 1: 06 Greece

For many years it seemed the Greek party would never end. Come what may, the Greek entries would keep dancing on their beach all through the warm night and the points would keep coming in.

Lately they have strayed a bit from the formula which, for me, has meant more interesting songs but not the same amount of success as Greece has enjoyed since the introduction of the semi finals. Last year saw the lowest placing ever for a Greek entry.

This year, the Greek audience had a complete change of track and selected the most typical ESC ballad they've shown the world since Mandó's less than successful attempt in 2003. This song is a close relative to that one in style as well as in performance.

Maria-Elena sings really well and belts it out convincingly, placing all the notes in their right places, but the song never evolves beyond being a clean-cut piece of machinery. It doesn't seem to mean anything to anyone, not even the singer. No emotion, no depth, only one huge, polished surface. As soon as it's over, you'll struggle to remember what it sounded like.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Greece has never failed in a semi final but there must be a first for everything. Unless this turns into an explosion of earnest raw emotion in Vienna, the Greeks could be up for a very unpleasant surprise.

Grade: 1/5



Maria-Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath (Greece 2015)

Nobody's favourite but mine, part 1

Sometimes I get the impression there is a certain kind of eurovision fan who only watches the contest in order to get to criticise as many things as possible. To just slam every song they hear and rip them to shreds.

I admit it can be great fun to do just that. When you find something that is really terribly bad and you manage to find just the right words to explain why something makes your ears bleed and your heart cry.

It's just that I'm so incredibly fond of liking things. I can often find redeeming factors in most really weird entries and in general I like so many more things than I dislike. So just to prove my point I will present you a number of songs only I like. Here are five songs I like very much to most people's honest surprise and incomprehension.



Afroditi Fryda - Clown (Greece 1988)

Famously, the jury in the national final selected a winner only after pointing out how underwhelming all candidates were and recommending the national tv company to pull out of the competition instead of sending either one to a sure defeat in Dublin. If that anecdote is true - it has been attached to a number of Greek national finals through the years - the jury were not entirely wrong as the song received a grand total of ten points.

I disagreed with juries - business as usual - and found an attractive sadness in between all the compulsive laughter. When I finally saw a translation of the lyrics I realised it was all in my head as there wasn't the slightest trace of ambiguity or darkness. I still love it anyway. Ha ha ha ha!



George Nussbaumer - Weils dr guat got (Austria 1996)

Eurovision and gospel music has always been a hard nut to crack. Quite a few entrants have tried through the years without really getting it right. It becomes a bit too polished and soft and harmless to leave any real traces or reveal any deeper emotion. Except perhaps for this bunch of crazy Austrians.

The song is perhaps not all that remarkable in itself and I wasn't really blown away by the preview clip, but the live performance is the closest thing we ever came to a perfect re-enactment of a tropical hurricane. The backing group - including Stella Jones and Bettina Soriat who both represented their country as solo singers in the 90's - become so incredibly animated and worked-up that you suspect the hall will run out of oxygen before the song is over. Not everyone's cup of tea but I find it irresistible.



Oleksandr - Hasta la vista (Ukraine 2003)

Isn't it strange that Ukraine - famous for doing everything right in the ESC - would start out by getting more or less everything wrong in their debut entry? The cheesy lyrics, the old-fashioned arrangement, the Kermit-the-frog-at-the-opera vocals and the most peculiar dancer in the background. It is all so puzzling. What were they thinking? Were they convinced they had a winner on their hands? The worst part still is that I've grown remarkably fond of it over the years. For all the wrong reasons, mind you. But very fond all the same.



Modern Folk Trio & Aysegül - Dönme dolap (Turkey 1981)

I'm surprisingly easy at times, I have to admit to that. Shake a piece of homemade disco muzak Made in Turkey in front of me and my knees will turn into jelly. If it is performed by three distinguished gentlemen in white, accompanied by a cheerful lady, performing a choreography that should be simple but that seems to pose a real challenge for the group, I'll be even happier. If you top it with a shockingly nonsense set of lyrics - stating that life is a merry-go-round as it goes up and then down again - I'll just roll over and admit I'm defeated.



Daisy Auvray - Mister Music Man (Switzerland 1992)

This is what I suppose happened: Poor Daisy didn't get out much and this time she decided to really live the moment to the fullest. She had enjoyed a glass of wine or two and felt lovely and vibrant and alive and wanted the whole world to know. She grabbed a microphone, decided to put her happiness into song and asked the band to strike up an old-fashioned sound that would suit her perfectly. How was poor Daisy to know this was not a karaoke bar at all but the Swiss national final?

Seriously, though. This was so violently out of sync with any kind of musical trend or fashion back then, but time has been really kind to this in comparison to many other entries from the same year. Perhaps not the best song there ever was, but the whole performance is sweet. And endearing. And that must be worth something too.

Semi 2: 13 Greece

In 1983, Belgium sent in an entry where one line was repeated over and over on top of a beating rhythm and nobody understood what they were doing. Today that practise has turned into mainstream and should be a lot less risky, but Eurovision is still pretty conservative.



Freaky Fortune feat RiskyKidd - Rise Up (Greece 2014)

Personally, I am really pleased that Greece ditched that same old song they used to try their luck with. It always did well but enough is enough. Time to explore new grounds.

In fact, the Greeks just traded one beach party for another - this new one is perhaps taking place later at night and is less family friendly. It is repetitive but effective, a little bit daring, a little bit modern. And a lot less anxious about being loved than some Greek entries have been in the past ten years.

I think this is a change for the better but I'm not entirely sure Europe will fully agree.

Qualifier: Yes. This will quite easily proceed to the final where it might meet up with a bit less success than Greece has grown used to. I would not take a top ten placing for granted this time.

My grade: 3/5

Semi 2: these are my ten qualifiers

If there was pressure to predict the first semi final then this second one feels like a nightmare for various reasons. Mainly because it all seems very open and I have no idea whether to predict with my heart or with my head.

I feel sure about five of ten qualifiers, perhaps. Then it feels like the placings 6 - 16 or so are one big grand lottery. How will the points spread between the candidates? If they spread enormously you might need less points than ever to make top ten tonight. Then a couple of high points could be enough. Which opens up for basically anyone.

But again - I repeat my old mantra that this is just a game and nothing to be taken too seriously. If I tell myself that a number of times I might believe it in the end.

1. LATVIA Here We Go / PeR
Just like Austria, this is a very good opening number and for a long time I thought this would be the happy pill that would appeal to the audience in the end. But I thought the same about Trackshittaz last year. You've got to learn sometime.
Qualifier: No

2. SAN MARINO Crisalide / Valentina Monetta 
This is where the real prediction nightmare starts. If you are not a eurovision fan and you don't know how much Valentina improved since last year, all you are left with as a ballad that never fully develops and a dated beat from the Siegel factory, which hasn't worked since 1999. This prediction is more based on me wanting to see San Marino on a scoreboard for once. Heart wins over head.
Qualifier: Yes

3. FYR MACEDONIA Pred da se razdeni / Esma & Lozano
I still think this is a dismal song that merely uses Esma as a special effect and nothing more, but you could have way worse special effects than her. And I'd rather have her than many others on offer tonight.
Qualifier: Yes

4. AZERBAIJAN Hold Me / Farid Mammadov
A weak song enhanced by technology, pretty much like last year's Azeri entry. Of course it will work, at least at this point.
Qualifier: Yes

5. FINLAND Marry Me / Krista Siegfrieds
Catchy, instant, over the top, girl on girl kissing, wedding dress. This one will stay in the audience's mind and will sail into the final. Well done, girl.
Qualifier: Yes

6. MALTA Tomorrow / Gianluca
A very charming song with a very charming singer has, reportedly, turned unnecessarily dull and not striking enough on stage. I still want to think that an ukulele and eyes as charming as Gianluca's will be enough, but I'm not sure at all.
Qualifier: Yes

7. BULGARIA Samo shampioni / Elitsa & Stoyan
Despite liking them a lot in Helsinki six years ago, I did not predict them to qualify, neither did I see their top five placing coming in advance. So maybe the trick will work again, despite this song lacking everything that made "Voda" good. But I don't think so.
Qualifier: No

8. ICELAND Ég á líf / Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson
This is a pretty little ballad in many ways. Iceland has a way of squeezing themselves into the final where they ultimately don't do so well. It could work this time around as well, but the battle for ballad points is ferocious and Iceland would need a large portion of luck to make it this time.
Qualifier: No

9. GREECE Alcohol Is Free / Koza Mostra feat Agathonas Iakovidis
This is another truly divisive song that certain people will detest, but temper, attitude, forza and dancing musicians dressed in kilts will win in the end.
Qualifier: Yes

10. ISRAEL Rak bishvilo / Moran Mazor
One week ago I predicted that Iceland would make it and Israel would not. Today I swap them around. I still think the song would need more of a climax - I expect more than it ever delivers every time I hear it - but think Moran's intensity will beat the Icelandic cool in the end. And I doubt there is room for them both in the final.
Qualifier: Yes

11. ARMENIA Lonely Planet / Dorians
I really hate bringing up the subject of diaspora voting, but the Armenian Head of Delegation mentioned it herself in their press conference this week. In my mind, this is the weakest song of the second semi, but will potential friendship points be enough to take it to the final. For the sake of this competition, I hope not.
Qualifier: No

12. HUNGARY Kedvesem / ByeAlex
This is one of my top favourites this year. But I think this introverted but brilliant little gem will be too demanding from a grand audience on a Thursday night and that it could very well mean ByeHungary in the end. I would love to be wrong on this one, but I don't see it happening.
Qualifier: No

13. NORWAY I Feed You My Love / Margaret Berger
After all these question marks it feels wonderful to be this sure again. Norway is a potential winner this year and is a sure qualifier tonight.
Qualifier: Yes

14. ALBANIA Identitet / Bledar Sejko & Adrian Lulgjuraj
I like these rockers, I like their song and I like their sound. But just like in 2011, I think this will be a bit too much for Europe. Unfortunately.
Qualifier: No

15. GEORGIA Waterfall / Nodi & Sophie
Big voices and a big - albeit predictable - ballad. Will work wonders and steal lots and lots of points and ruin the chances for most other ballad entries - how many are there room for besides this one?
Qualifier: Yes

16. SWITZERLAND You And Me / Takasa
Alongside Armenia, my least favourite song in this semi. Three minutes of very little action and very little else. The big question is if people are prepared to vote for a group just because they feature the oldest person ever on a eurovision stage. And again, for the sake of this competiton, I hope the answer is no.
Qualifier: No

17. ROMANIA It's My Life / Cezar
Is this a good song? No, not particularly. Will people laugh at Cezar tonight? Quite a few will, yes. But perhaps the final needs a performance like this. To ensure entertainment value for everyone.
Qualifier: Yes

So these are my ten qualifiers tonight: San Marino, FYR Macedonia, Azerbaijan, Finland, Malta, Greece, Israel, Norway, Georgia and Romania. My heart is bleeding for Hungary, but I really don't dare hope that they will make it.

Am I sure? Not the least. Azerbaijan, Greece, Norway, Georgia and Finland will be in the final. Everything else is up for grabs. If I have more than five right tonight, that will be a victory in itself.

So bring it on, prove me wrong!

ESC 2013: who is our winner, then?

Two weeks before the big eurovision final and right before the rehearsals start, I managed to finish my big review of the entries in their preview versions.

At some point somebody asked me in a comment who would get my full five-pointer out of these entries and the answer is that nobody got a rating of five.

No less than thirteen countries (one third of the line-up) got four points out of five possible, and for me that describes this year perfectly. It is a good year with many strong contenders but it lacks those complete standout, runaway victory-type of entries.

Which is arguably a good thing. With a bit of luck we could get a tight, nerve-wracking, intense voting sequence that will keep us in suspense up until the very last country has cast its votes. It has been ten years since we had a voting like that. It would be about time.

What about my thirteen four-pointers then? Well, they can be divided into a number of sub-categories:

Personal favourites

I don't really believe that Estonia, Greece, Hungary or Malta will have any real chance of winning the big final, they just happen to ignite something in me. Nobody would be happier than me if I was wrong but I don't think I am.

The potential surprises

I was there to see Marie N win the 2002 final. I remember the sound of everyone's jaws dropping as Riva won for Yugoslavia in 1989. Sometimes the unlikely will happen and then Finland, Belgium, Ireland or France could break through to the audience in an unexpected way and start collecting points aplenty.

The gourmet entries
Italy's song is perhaps too slow, Norway is too modern and has too sharp edges and the Netherlands sounds more like a classy film soundtrack than a eurovision winner. Don't forget that sometimes quality stands out and wins through despite not being tailor-made for this contest. Think Molitva. Think Yohanna.

The crowd-pleasers

Denmark is the biggest favourite to win and has a most easily accessible formula with its singalong chorus and tin whistle. Ukraine has a very engaging performer and always knows how to tweak the last little drop of entertainment out of their songs.

Conclusion?

Do I have to say something clever to sum this up now? Before any rehearsals have started or anything like that, I will just state that my dream winner - the one I think could be the best choice for the future of the contest - would be Norway, Netherlands or Italy. Sharp edges and hit potential for the win.

Ask me again in a week and I might have changed my mind completely. Bring on the rehearsals.

Semi 2: 09 Greece

Honestly, I've been a bit tired of the Greek eurovision entries for a while. Similar songs and similar performers most of the years. So I should be really happy now that they changed track completely.



Koza Mostra & Agathon Iakovidis - Alcohol Is Free (Greece 2013)

Instead of the neverending beach party tunes, Greece opted for something pretty different. Rebetiko meets ska meets a deeply political lyric that mixes Greek mythology and Alexander the Great with the current Greek crisis - everything crowned by a chorus consisting only of chanting a catch-phrase stating that alcohol is, indeed, free.

Maybe the Greeks did not make it excessively easy for themselves.

But the whole package works surprisingly well. It is engaging and convincing, underlining the fact that there is a reality waiting for us all out there when the songs have been sung and a winner elected.

My only objection is that I wish the song could be longer. The last chorus is so intense, I wish they would have had time to let it develop even further.

Qualifier:
Yes. I do hope so. This is my favourite Greek entry in many years, I hope their courage and will to experiment will be rewarded.

My grade: 4/5

Tobson's Ranking: #20 Greece

It has been years since the Greeks last sent in a really strong song. But they certainly know how to make their stuff work.



Eleftheria Eleftheriou - Aphrodisiac (Greece 2012)

This song isn't much to start with, it sounds like the rather washed-out melodifestivalen-reject that it probably is, and most countries would have failed miserably when entering something as unoriginal as this.

But Greece is not just any old country, they know their stuff. Their sound is distinctly modern pop with a local flavour and their dance routines are wacko enough to raise a certain interest around the song in question.

This year's stage show - where Eleftheria and her dancers recreates "The Birth of Venus", the famous painting by Botticelli - is also more elaborate and sophisticated than most.

Had all of this been accompanied by an equally ambitious song, then this could have resulted in another Greek spot in top three. Now it was to be the first Greek entry in nine years not to place among the ten best instead.

And maybe rightly so. This is a song contest, after all. And then the song should matter as well.

My grade: 3/5

The 2012 review, part one

It doesn't feel like too long ago that I did this while warming up for Düsseldorf - now it is time to start going through the entries before heading off to Baku...

These reviews are purely my personal point of view, including my prediction about how I think the song will fare in the contest. All these views are, of course, going to change when I see the entries on stage and all and then I'm free to change my mind again et cetera. You know all this.

But let's kick off, shall we?

1. MONTENEGRO



Rambo Amadeus - Euro Neuro

When I first heard this song, I didn't know what to think as I couldn't quite make head nor tail of it. Humour is a difficult art form at the ESC, and I'm not too convinced that Rambo Amadeus will have the same effect on Europe as Verka Serduchka had, for instance.

Which is a bit of a shame, really. There is more to this song than just the joke. It is quite original, inspired, poetic and obnoxious, as well as catchy. You can dance as this at the same time as you try to sing along to the gibberish of the verses.

Qualifyer:
No. It is hard enough to convince Europe to vote for comedy songs, even harder when you are the first performance on the night. People have nothing to compare it to and are probable not to see the brilliance of this.

My grade: 3/5

2. ICELAND




Gréta Salóme & Jonsi - Never Forget

A bit of mystery and a bit of drama in a passionate duet, based on Icelandic folklore. Their voices blend nicely together and the slightly heavier arrangement gives an extra touch to this entry, but I can't help feeling that something is missing. It is good, but perhaps not good enough. I find myself entertained for the moment but there are other songs that tickle my senses more than this one.

Qualifyer:
Possibly. Iceland has had a remarkable ability to make their songs work lately, especially in the semis.

My grade: 2/5

3. GREECE



Eleftheria Eleftheriou - Aphrodisiac

I don't know about you, good people, but I feel like Greece has taken a good idea a bit too far already. The neverending beach party goes on and on, with yet another catchy chorus and yet another happy performer, and there is no doubt in my mind that a fresh and exciting stage show will be in place to cover up the fact that this song is really rather bleak. This is the kind of game that Greece used to play to perfection, but I would want something different for next year.

Qualifyer:
Probably. Unless the average tv-viewers also find themselves with a too distinct taste of déjà-vu at the sight of this.

My grade: 1/5

4. LATVIA



Anmary - Beautiful Song

When Anmary won the national final, I dismissed the whole thing as just another silly entry. But then again, Latvia is quite good at being silly in a good way - they pulled it off before. As neither the song nor Anmary seem to take themselves too seriously, this turns into a pretty enjoyable little bagatelle that will have you hum along for three minutes. If they manage to come across as happy and carefree on stage in Baku, maybe Europe will still be humming this when it is time to start voting.

Qualifyer:
Probably not. Had Latvia been drawn later in the running, there would be a fair chance of this one standing out in a positive light after too many serious entries. Now it will probably just be a (very pleasant) pause.

My grade: 3/5

5. ALBANIA



Rona Nishliu - Suus

Last year I had a hard time deciding what I really thought of the Albanian entry, but that was piece of cake compared to this time. What we have on our hands here is a very demanding entry without a trace of a hook, not for a second trying to be easy or inviting. The kind of song that has usually turned televoters away in a most brusque fashion. But Rona sings it so well and invests so much emotion into the song that I'm willing to believe at least the juries could fall for it.

Qualifyer:
Possibly maybe. Last year, the juries pushed Lithuania into the final on the strength of a vocal delivery only. If the juries are similarly composed in 2012, this one could be the one entrant to appeal to their more artistic side.

My grade: 2/5

Song Of The Day: Greece 1980

Anna Vissi was still a promising girl from Cyprus, yet to morph into the superstar of song she was destined to become, when she represented Greece at the 1980 ESC in The Hague.

She had almost represented Greece already two years earlier in Paris, as she sang both the winner and the runner-up in the internal jury vote to determine the national entry. However, both songs were deemed ineligible and Tania Tsanaclidou got the Paris ticket instead.

When winning the Greek final in 1980, Anna narrowly beat trio Epikouri and it was subsequently decided for them to act as backing group at Eurovision.

The song, a light-hearted ode to the joys of hitch-hiking, is perhaps a bagatelle but you can tell Anna Vissi is a star in the making. She fills the little song with energy, passion and a certain sense of gravity. Together with Epikouri, she puts on a splendid little show that impressed several journalists and commentators on location.

However, reports suggest the Greek delegation had severe sound problems during the dress rehearsal that the juries listened to and voted on. That could explain the surprisingly low 13th place.

But Anna would be back with a vengeance. Not only at the ESC, but at the world of Greek pop at large. She wasn't going to win at eurovision, but at least she is Number One in Greece. That must count for something.



Anna Vissi & Epikouri - Autostop (Greece 1980)

Greece 1974: everybody freeze!

Greece made its debut at the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest in Brighton, and when I first heard this song, from a not too scratchy vinyl single record, I could not believe how it could fail to score better. I found it happy, clappy, dancy and bouncy.

And the studio version, also used for the preview clip, really is infectuous and bouncy.



Marinella - Krassi, thalassa ke t'agori mou (Greece 1974 preview)

The live version, however, is not. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw this performance for the first time. I'm not sure I ever saw a eurosong performed with such a lack of zeal, passion and attack.

Marinella is of course the Greek goddess statue personified, she is excused. And she does pick up a tambourine by the end, in a vain attempt to save the day.

But what are those backing singers up to? How can you perform such a happy song without transpiring the slightest hint of happiness? Sing such a swinging entry without moving a muscle? Suddenly the verdict of the judges started making more sense, I must give them that.



Marinella - Krassi, thalassa ke t'agori mou (Greece 1974)

Tobson's Winners: 1991 - 1995

Seriously, there had been some downhill ever since the early 80's, as commercial success started to evade the contenders. The winners didn't necessarily have any serious impact on the charts around Europe, not to mention that fewer and fewer of the non-winners found success internationally (or domestically).

But in the early 90's, the downhill turned into free falling. The contest failed to attract modern sounds and new styles, and, added the juries' clear inability of finding commercial winners, Eurovision soon turned into a big has-been of an event.

Some countries still wanted to win it and host it, some countries made the sporadic effort to modernise and update their national selections, but the ratings were dropping to all time lows in most countries.

Ireland's win-athon, with four victories in five years, did nothing to improve things. When a country like Ireland failed to chart internationally with their winners, what could countries like Switzerland, Greece or Belgium hope for?

However, the thing that would eventually save the old contest came in through a back door, not being hugely popular at the time. But with the new countries, "the Eastern bloc", came a real breathe of fresh air and a will to keep the ESC alive.

1991 - Greece



Sophia Vossou - Anixi (Greece 1991)

More of a monument than a simple song, this elegant creation with its delicate verses and explosive verses is an evergreen in Greece. On home ground, they can not still quite grasp how it didn't fare better than 13th.

I can only agree. What were the juries thinking? (And did the Greek delegation give the saxophone player the beating he deserved after ruining his solo like that, or did they let him get away?)

Greece really made an effort in the early 90's before realising nothing was to come out of it, that the juries would never go their way, and threw in the towel.

Real winner:
Carola - Fångad av en stormvind (Sweden)


1992 - Greece



Kleopatra - Olou tou kosmou i elpida (Greece 1992)

1992 does in no way offer the strongest line-up ever, but it does offer more quality Greek drama than any other year. In fact, my personal runner-up this year is the very intense delivery Evridiki did for Cyprus.

But the Greek entry is again like a modernised tragedy with a drum beat, Kleopatra is like a Medea with a taste for Bond themes.

Elegant, convincing and, above all, catchy and very modern-sounding compared to most songs in competition. Not unimportant during these years.

Real winner:
Linda Martin - Why Me?


1993 - Norway



Silje Vige - Alle mine tankar (Norway 1993)

A soft little ballad with a bouzouki flavour was not what the contest needed at this time, really.

The best move would have been if one of the two really modern entries could have won. If the Spanish rap-sprinkled pop fest would have sounded as updated as it wanted to. If Dutch Ruth Jacott could have been a bit more easily accessible.

But Silje Vige's soft little plea for love (of the very platonic kind girls only want when their fathers wrote their lyrics) is so pretty that I shiver and go to pieces a bit.

Nothing short of wonderful.

Real winner:
Niamh Kavanagh - In Your Eyes


1994 - Poland



Edyta Górniak - To nie ja! (Poland 1994)

The year when Ireland completed its famous (infamous?) hat-trick and scored its third consecutive win, there were a couple of other winners that would steal the thunder from the Rock'n'roll Kids.

Riverdance, of course. The spectacular interval act that set out to conquer the world in its own right.

But also the countries from the East. Seven of them were let into competition, after a few years of EBU hesitation.

They were all to mark the future of the ESC in many ways, and on this first edition three of them impressed Europe and made top ten. Russia ninth, Hungary fourth and Poland second.

Of course, the Polish Mariah Carey should have won with her powerful chorus and flawless delivery. But Eurovision wasn't ready just yet.

Real winner:
Paul Harrington & Charlie McGettigan - Rock'n'roll Kids (Ireland)


1995 - Poland



Justyna - Sama (Poland 1995)

Poland really gave eurovision their best during the 90's. Few countries sent in entries as headstrong, as obstinate, as original.

Justyna was a real shocker of an entrant, opening the 1995 contest with her odd mixture of a beat, weird strings and high-pitched notes. A Swedish tabloid described it like "a Björk track played in reverse".

Complete with a dark set of lyrics full of doom, depression and Catholic imagery, this was the very opposite of what a eurosong should sound like in the mid-90's.

Poland sent it in anyway, convinced that quality would bring them success in the end. What they got was 15 points and an eighteenth place.

Well done, juries.

Real winner:
Secret Garden - Nocturne (Norway)

Tobson Ranking: #31 Greece

He certainly has star quality, but this guy is reduced to being a visitor in his own entry.



Loukas Giorkas feat Stereo Mike - Watch My Dance (Greece 2011)

This package could easily have resulted in a very interesting entry indeed, but now it is mainly a collection of good ideas that won't really go anywhere.

Loukas, who is a great singer as well as a very welcome sight for sore eyes, belts out his tiny singing part with such gusto that most people must wonder why he didn't get to sing more.

Instead you get an endless load of rap from Stereo Mike, who, unbelievably, gets an awful lot of space during these three minutes without contributing anything worth noticing.

The stage show is very tasteful and dramatic, but for me it doesn't help. It is too late. Stereo Mike has already left the entry in ruins.

Europe did not agree with me, and rewarded Greece with its eighth consecutive top ten score.

Good for Greece - but this song really doesn't do much for me.

My grade: 2 / 5

Notable lyrics: Greece 1983

Just to be very precise... It took me years to figure this song out. I used to find it dull and difficult. I couldn't make head nor tails of it and thought it was one of the weakest entries ever sent in by Greece.



Christie Stassinopoulou - Mou les (Greece 1983)

It wasn't until I heard the cover version featured on the Euro-Revisions album (which I can heartly recommend - available on Spotify) that I was really blown away.

These days, this is one of my all-time favourite ESC tracks - delicate, tender and seriously melodic.

But one thing that always impressed me - long before I saw the light from a musical point of view - are the lyrics. A low-key lament from the insecure, a lullaby for everyone with low self esteem.

You tell me about the sea and the ships, about everything you have seen and experienced. And instead of feeling special when you decide to share this with me, I panic in fear that these wonderful memories will make you long back to old times and realise how dull and insignificant I really am.

So I will close all ports and all stations, and I will lock your heart in a cage, so you can't wander away from me.

Who can't relate to that feeling? The notion that as soon as our loved ones realise how unspectacular we really are, they won't love us anymore.

Christie sings for everyone who ever felt like that, and at least my heart melts.

The 2011 review: part Four

And to wrap it up, here are the four last entries of the first semi, all viewed with my critical (but reasonable) eye.

16. PORTUGAL



Homens da Luta - Luta é alegria (Portugal 2011)

Of course you can get a bit confused as to what kind of competition this really is. Is this a forum for the eternal eurosongs? Should you send in material with chart potential? You never know these things for sure. But Portugal has been in it long enough to know it is not the place to send bottom-of-the-league sketches that would be rejected by the local village revue.

There is a possibility that every fragment of this entry is sheer brilliance if you are Portuguese, fluent in Portuguese and pretty aware of Portuguese culture and history. I can assure you that the vast majority of viewers and voters will not understand what goes on, and will not be bothered with these people in strange clothes.

In a cat fair, you enter a cat. In a baking competition, you enter a cake. In a song contest, you enter a song. Take notes, Portugal.

Qualifyer:
Nope. Estonian Kreisiraadio showed that humour with no humour will not work at the ESC. Possibly even a nul-pointer in the end.

My grade: 0/5

17. LITHUANIA



Evelina Sašenko - C'est ma vie (Lithuania 2011)

Just like Armenia's Emmy, poor Evelina has been robbed. She has an excellent voice and a good stage-presence, and radiates not only confidence but also intelligence. So whatever made her accept such a bleak, pompous non-entry is beyond me.

Entries like this one were in abundance during the mid-90's and were one of the main reasons why Eurovision started lacking in popularity and ratings. I can't see why Europe would have changed its mind since then. Lithuania could gladly send Evelina again, some other time, but with a decent song. She would deserve that.

Qualifyer:
No. Not even Disney wants ballads like this one anymore.

My grade: 1/5

18. AZERBAIJAN



Ell & Nikki - Running Scared (Azerbaijan 2011)

I do have a few strong words to say about Azerbaijan's policy of buying their way to success (and their way of ignoring their own composers and sounds) but after Portugal and Lithuania I won't argue anymore as this is one of the strongest songs of all 2011.

It is breezy, atmospheric and emotional and while this couple does not strike you as the most obvious love birds ever (so to speak) they come across as very likeable. My only slight reservation is that I want to hear what this sounds like live. This chorus contains some really difficult passages that are very hard to pull off, and worst case scenario is that this lovely chorus turns into the musical equivalent of a horror movie before three minutes are over.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for that not to happen.

Qualifyer:
Yes. If these two hit the notes properly, then they will sail all straight into the final and make a respectable showing there.

My grade: 4/5

19. GREECE



Loucas Yiorkas Feat. Stereo Mike - Watch my dance (Greece 2011)

The Greeks have been dancing around merrily on the Eurovision stage almost every year since 2004, and of course that is bound to wear you out sooner or later. I have wished for a Greek change of direction for a long time already. Which reminds me, you should always be careful what you wish for.

Stereo Mike and his rap paired with Loucas and all his pathos could have been a good idea in theory, but the pieces of this song won't gel and the final result is surprisingly lacking in dynamics and melody. It is not bad as such, but I don't feel anything listening to this song. It starts, it goes on, it ends, it passes me by.

Qualifyer:
No. Greece has been a steady feature in the final every year since the semis were inagurated, but I think they will have a hard time keeping up with their own reputation this time.

My grade: 1/5