Tobson's Big ESC 2019 review, part 5

What is the only thing that could be better than a semi final? Two semi finals, of course. The new semi proved a success in many ways but it soon became crowded and making your way through to the final became almost impossible.

The 2007 semi final in Helsinki stands out as a real televisual nightmare, a show that never ends and when it finally does it is with a result unlikely to make anyone happy. Meanwhile ten countries were pre-qualified with no sort of quality control what-so-ever. Had the two semi finals system been introduced already in 2007, the EBU would have saved themselves a fair share of viewer outrage and Andorra would have made it to the final.

Apart from Andorra's injustice, it seems the semi final system finally landed with the viewers once the semi was split in two. Suddenly the viewers started engaging with the new formula and the semi final results  seem to have become less arbitrary since 2008.

If you want more of my reviews you will find them in part one, two, three and four.


07 DENMARK
Leonora / Love Is Forever

Songwriter Lise Cabble represented Denmark three times before. Not only has she got a victory under her belt, she never placed lower than 5th. This time she has brought along Anna Rossinelli's formerly unknown Danish cousin, a former figure skater, equipped with a pleasant and happy little ditty. In our troubled times, few lines will sit worse than "Don't get too political" but possibly Europe will be in a good enough mood to overlook that.

Qualifier:
You never know for sure, but Denmark is good at charming its way into the final. My bet is that the trick will work again but you can not be too sure. Anyway Lise Cabble is most probably set for landing outside the top five for the first time.

My grade: 3/5


08 SWEDEN
John Lundvik / Too Late For Love

Once Melodifestivalen was over, I was ready to bet everything I own that Sweden would win in Tel Aviv, secure a seventh win and bumble their way onto the top of the winner table alongside Ireland. Maybe I am not as sure anymore but this is a compelling piece of gospel flavoured pop - a better performed version of Austria 2018 if you so wish - with a chorus you can easily hold on to on a first listening. This is the song most people can like at least a bit and that can carry very far, not least with the jurors.

Qualifier:
Yes, beyond the shadow of a doubt. Perhaps not as obvious a winner as I thought at first but clearly one of perhaps four really strong contenders for victory.

My grade: 5/5


09 AUSTRIA
Paenda / Limits

In general, Austria have done most things right ever since selecting Conchita - what's an embarrassing nul pointer on home ground between friends? - and has provided an interesting range of entries lately. Last year they won the jury voting in the grand final. I wish I could say that success will stay with the Austrians as I really like Paenda and her low-intense presence and personable sound. Unfortunately her entry takes forever to develop into anything and when it finally does it is most probably too little and too late for most.

Qualifier:
No. It would be a big surprise (positive, but still) if Austria would hop out of an envelope this time around.

My grade: 2/5


10 CROATIA
Roko / The Dream

Jacques Houdek is back in town after his low-key, toned-down and quietly tasteful entry of 2017 where he sang a duet with *checks notes* himself. As you do. Now he is the songwriter as well as the artistic coach for young Roko. The boy can certainly sing but is he too polite and unremarkable to fill this bombastic belter with the drama needed?

Qualifier:
Borderline. I doubt this Jacques Houdek tribute act will stand out enough to make a mark, unless the same rainbows and unicorns used in Kyiv are unleashed again.

My grade: 1/5


11 MALTA
Michela / Chameleon

Another one of those nifty and updated pop songs that clearly picked up a thing or two from Eleni Foureira last year. After Cyprus and Switzerland, Malta remains a bit of a question mark. This clearly is a good number - catchy and personable and not too obvious. But will it gel with young Michela? Will they be able to pull this off on stage? And the more I hear it, the more I realise that this is a pile of bits and pieces that don't really fall into any sort of coherent song in the end.

Qualifier:
Yes, I think it is. Hardly a contender for a top ten placing, but Malta will be happy just to qualify. It's been too long.

My grade: 3/5


12 LITHUANIA
Jurijus / Run With The Lions

Lithuania is always a tricky one to predict. My rule of thumb has often been that if I like their entry, they will fail. And when it is dull or bad, it will qualify with ease. That should be very good news to Jurijus, who was one of the kissing backing singers in Vienna 2015, who isn't really doing anything wrong. Unfortunately the song he's been set up with is a really lean effort, another of these songs that could be washed ashore at almost any national final after being rejected elsewhere. Pleasant for as long as it goes on, then instantly forgotten.

Qualifier:
No. How snoozy can you get before Europe votes you out? Jurijus is about to find out.

My grade: 1/5


If you want to agree or disagree with me, please leave a comment or send me a tweet. All the preview clips can be seen here.

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Tobson's Big ESC 2018 review, part 4

The person in charge of sequencing the running order has a great deal of power, that is for sure.

When the draw was abandoned in 2013, the new system was promised to guarantee a better show: similar styles would be spread out and so would geographical and cultural neighbours. Something the producers have not always managed to live up to.

In the semi finals, however, it is unlikely that the producer can make or break an entry just by giving it a certain spot. If the audience likes something, they will vote for it regardless. Last year's first semi proved quite convincingly there are no safe spots anywhere. The final is a different story altogether but let's deal with the last semifinalists first.

10. GEORGIA
Iriao / For You

A beautiful and intriguing piece of folklore presented by a country that always seems to find new areas to explore and almost never takes the easiest route in this contest. Maybe a bit lacking in dynamics to be a real points magnet but its musical merits alone should be enough to assure it some success.

Qualifier:
Borderline but I hope it will. There is something very likeable about men singing in harmonies like this.

My grade: 3/5

11. POLAND
Gromee feat Lukas Meijer / Light Me Up

Given recent events, it is hard not to think of Avicii here and label this entry Avicii-light. Musically it is not a bad effort and it has some good hooks in the chorus, but it also feels very lightweight and the performance in the national final was a complete and utter visual mess that needs to get sorted out.

Qualifier:
Borderline. Relies far more on televote love than most. If the Poles around Europe are awake and alert, then this one will make it, but they were not as eager to vote as expected last year.

My grade: 2/5

12. MALTA
Christabelle / Taboo

Flashback to a kind of entry that used to be really popular a couple of years ago, with a slightly aggressive-sounding female vocalist in an almost contemporary soundscape. I liked this when it won in Malta, then it grew off me surprisingly quickly. Now it just feels repetitive and dated and heard before.

Qualifier:
No, unless the viewers at home get lost in nostalgia. I'd say that's unlikely.

My grade: 1/5

13. HUNGARY
AWS / Viszlát nyár

I am not going to pretend to be a connoisseur of heavy rock but I'm delighted to see other genres than "eurovision-rock" take part at the ESC. This is heavy, hard, noisy and with more than a fair share of angst in it. It almost hurts when you hear it and I'm very happy about this glimpse into a musical landscape I seldom venture into.

Qualifier:
Yes. This must make it. We need something as different and refreshing as this in the final.

My grade: 3/5

14. LATVIA
Laura Rizzotto / Funny Girl

Another vaguely Bond-esque number by a performer with a sense of drama. Or so I hope. While this song is one of my personal favourites - I absolutely love the lyrics - the video clip is pretty much standing in the way of the song, making it feel a lot less engaging than it is when I only hear it. This one needs a firm injection of some sort of action in Lisbon.

Qualifier:
Yes, I hope so. But it could equally well end 11th. Or - if the staging is poor - it could even crash and burn close to the end of the result.

My grade: 4/5

15. SWEDEN
Benjamin Ingrosso / Dance You Off

Somehow this evolved from being a competent, visually stunning but slightly boring first semi qualifier in MF to something very different. Surprising that Sweden enters exactly the same thing two years in a row - a contemporary number where visuals are more important than the actual content - but this song keeps growing and growing.

Qualifier:
Yes. And also the winner of this semi.

My grade: 4/5

16. MONTENEGRO
Vanja Radovanović / Inje

Sometimes having all the right components is still not enough. Montenegro has a convincing performer, a solid ballad performed in their own language and quite a lot of emotion and passion soaring through their entry. And yet no matter how many times I listen, I can never remember what it sounds like once it is over. That can't be a good thing.

Qualifier:

No, unless Europe hears something I can't hear. In a way I wish they would.

My grade: 2/5

17. SLOVENIA

Lea Sirk / Hvala ne

A Slovenian babe with an attitude it all it takes for me. I am totally sold here. The beat, the idea, the ice cold lack of a proper chorus. I'm convinced. Not that Slovenia has a great track record when it comes to convince the people who are voting, though.

Qualifier:

Yes. I want this to qualify. (Maybe I don't really expect it to qualify but I'm not giving up just yet.)

My grade: 4/5

18. UKRAINE

Mélovin / Under The Ladder

I'm struggling here. There are so many good bits and pieces here and Mélovin is an engaging performer and yet things don't click into place for me. Extra plus for energy and conviction but the tempo changes are weird. And what is he even singing about? Confusion all around.

Qualifier: Yes, of course. Ukraine are brilliant at this and we are likely to get a stunning package in the end. Last year is long forgotten.

My grade: 2/5

Maybe you also want to read parts one, two and three of this review? And maybe you also want to see when I blog my way through every Eurovision entry ever (in Swedish) over here?

Tobson takes a guess: semi 2 in Kyiv

Tuesday's prediction went far better than I would have expected, with the obvious exception of Finland. Instead of a rewarding top ten on Saturday, Norma John found themselves kicked out already before the party had taken off. But nine out of ten makes my prediction pretty good, I suppose.

If the first semi was hard to predict, then semi two is sheer madness. It is full of songs that are fairly similar and fairly equal in strength. Some good songs are taken down by disappointing performances, some mediocre songs are helped by good or at least overwhelming performances. If anyone gets ten countries right in their prediction, I hope they selected their lottery numbers at the same tine.

Again I try to follow the gut feeling and if it is of any use, the following eight will leave us tonight:


SAN MARINO
Goodbye and thank you, Valentina, but you wouldn't believe a song as crammed with key changes as this one could possibly be this static and empty and hopeless.


LITHUANIA
This year's most interesting failure that I in many ways find refreshing. They want so much and are so energetic and in the end of the day it comes to nothing as their chorus couldn't be helped even by a smaller miracle. Intriguing but chanceless.


SWITZERLAND
Personally I am rather fond of this chorus, but the delivery is far too polite and there is too little happening during these three minutes. Unless the juries shower it with love, nobody's going to remember it for long enough to vote for it.


NORWAY
I really warmed to this song myself - especially the quirky verses and the really nifty production details you only notice when listening to it in headphones - but in this tight competition their lack of visual presentation is going to cost them.


SERBIA
Performing first is no problem when you do your thing better than most others - like Sweden did on Tuesday. Serbia's song is nice and impeccably produced but also anonymous and stands out like a penguin surrounded by other penguins.


DENMARK
Will Sweden be the only Nordic country in the final for the second year in a row? Denmark's only hope is that Europe finds the Dutch entry to be too screechy and screamy and self-indulgent. Not impossible - it really is - and find Denmark the better version of the same thing. But I still fear the Danes are losing this battle.


AUSTRIA
Nathan Trent is arguably the most charming performer in this year's contest but the rather disappointing chorus is letting this song down. The question is if any cute staging or glittery moon can compensate for that, especially being sandwiched between two similar entries right at the beginning. I'm afraid not.


MALTA
I have warmed also to this, the most old-fashioned of old-fashioned ESC ballads. Maybe jury and televoters alike will be triggered by a wave of nostalgia and reward this one, but I wouldn't hold my breath for that to happen.


This mean that my ten qualifiers would be - in order of appearance - FYR Macedonia, Romania, Netherlands, Hungary, Ireland, Croatia, Belarus, Bulgaria, Estonia and Israel. This is my mind speaking, not my heart.

I think Croatia is a horrific pile of nonsense but it will stand out. Netherlands is three minutes of dull and soulless harmonising with no melody. Estonia could feel too cold and calculated, FYR Macedonia is only in because Europe managed to recognise Belgium had a great somg despite a shaky performance, Ireland is there because... well. He has a nice balloon.

The performance I am really looking forward to tonight is the happy Belarusians dancing on their boat as well as the terrific Kristian from Bulgaria. I think you will love them both.

Tobson's Big ESC 2017 Review, part 5

For the second year running we had a very late change in the lineup of the second semi. Last year Romania was kicked out due to a smaller mountain of unpaid bills. This year the EBU basically folded themselves double in order to keep Russia in the running, despite all sensible indications pointing towards them never fully intending to take part in Kyiv. For my review, I kept Russia in its place, just for comparison and to ponder what could have been.

01. SERBIA
Tijana Bogićević / In Too Deep

The second semi starts pretty much like the first semi ended: with a perfectly fine and perfectly contemporary pop number. It is slick, it sounds good, it is well sung - by one of Nina's crazy background singers from Düsseldorf 2011. It has pretty much everything anyone could ask for, except for any kind of profile or anything that would set it apart from anything else. Good and credible but too generic. Will need some really extraordinary and explosive staging in order to stand out.

Qualifier:

Borderline. There are so many of these radio-friendly, tailor-made for the commercial airwaves-type of songs in the lineup. Why would anyone remember this one in particular?

My grade: 3/5

Tijana Bogićević / In Too Deep (Serbia 2017 preview)

02. AUSTRIA

Nathan Trent / Running On Air

Ever since their last comeback in 2011 - and especially since Conchita's impressive victory - it seems like Austria would actually have a pop scene where quality stuff is being made. Quality stuff that could compete on an international level. Nathan Trent is surely the most charming male performer in the running but while his song sounds bang-up-to-date, it takes a disappointing turn in the chorus which is far from as strong as it should be.

Qualifier:

Borderline. Nathan will really need to knock Europe over in order to make up for the slightly weaker chorus. Far from impossible.

My grade: 3/5

Nathan Trent / Running On Air (Austria 2017 preview)

RUSSIA - not participating
Yulia Samoylova / Flame Is Burning

After many weeks of plot twists, Russian tv decided not to broadcast the 2017 ESC, rendering themselves ineligible for participation. This entry has been most revealing in many ways. It has showcased how naïve the EBU as well as many fans are in these times of information wars and propaganda machinery. It has also shown an alarming degree of ableism among ESC fans, quickly concluding how anyone confined to the use of a wheel chair could not possibly knowingly be part of a political scheme. Like Yulia was some poor vegetable, unable to understand the world around her. Instead of performing in Kyiv, she will headline a concert in Crimea on the day of the final. Oh well.

Would this have qualified?
Borderline. The song is really weak - as is the performance - and it's highly debatable whether it would have been enough. But that's also a highly hypothetical question. Russian tv never intended to compete with this entry. It was designed to be shark feed and nothing else.

My grade: 1/5



Yulia Samoylova / Flame Is Burning (Russia 2017 preview)

03. FYR MACEDONIA
Jana Burčeska / Dance Alone

After four consecutive semi final failures, FYR Macedonia has internally selected one of their best entries ever. Swedish Joacim Persson has co-written no fewer than three entries in this semi, which must be a record. What really set me on fire here was the fantastic video clip, which is captivating and heartbreakingly sad. If the same amount of emotion can be communicated in the live version, then this could be the republic's best showing to date. But on the other hand - no other country has been so consistently effective in ruining their songs on stage.

Qualifier:

Borderline. It all comes down to Jana's vocal performance and the staging of this number. Also, the single edit lacks some of the emotional depth of the version used in the video clip. But it is my own personal second favourite of the lot this year.

My grade: 4/5

Jana Burčeska / Dance Alone (FYR Macedonia 2017 preview)

04. MALTA

Claudia Faniello / Breathlessly

The Maltese clearly have determination. This is the kind of ballad they have failed with multiple times in the last ten years or so and yet they plunge headlong into competition with yet another version. Claudia tends to over perform more than a bit but is otherwise a good singer and through no fault of my own, this entry has grown on me. Just like Poland it has some really clunky and unfortunate lyrics here and there but the chorus is lush and luxurious. I fear it won't help much in the end.

Qualifier:

No. A better starting position could have helped but this one is very unlikely to pass. It's pleasant for as long as it goes on but will be forgotten as soon as it is over.

My grade: 2/5

Claudia Faniello / Breathlessly (Malta 2017 preview)

Semi 1: 18 Malta / Walk On Water

Ira Losco did what pretty much everyone expected her to do as she threw out her national final winner "Chameleon" and replaced it with another song. She recorded an impressive number of demos and had a panel decide which one they liked best. The panel's overwhelming favourite was the Swedish-penned "Walk On Water", originally written for and by Molly Pettersson Hammar.

I have no idea what the panel heard that I don't hear. For me the new song is more than decent but in no way sensational. Another piece of mainstream pop of the kind that really is this year's big thing.

I'm almost sorry I knew it was written for Molly PH as I almost hear her voice and how the writing is done to suit her vocal technique, not Ira's. It's like Ira is making a cover version instead of turning it into anything of her own.

I keep wondering why this one got to close the semi final. Does SVT know something about a fantastic stage show or did they just want to give a friendly pat on the head to a songwriting team they wish to encourage for the future?

Qualifier:
Yes, so I guess. Closing the semi should do the trick, but after Croatia-Armenia-Azerbaijan-Czech republic-Moldova there is nothing extraordinary or original about this one.

My grade: 2/5



Ira Losco / Walk On Water (Malta 2016 preview clip)

Semi 2: 05 Malta

One of my longest standing dreams is to see Malta win and host the ESC. It's intriguing how often small nations like Malta and Iceland can come up with entries that work and attract points while some of the bigger ones with bigger music markets keep failing and failing.

The last Maltese entries have all been hooky, likeable and professional to an extent that allows you to almost forget how tiny this island state really is and how improbable it is that they will produce as many good songs as they do.

Well, here comes a reminder. Nobody can get it right every time, and the Maltese get quite a few things right also here. Amber is likeable (even if the range feels a little bit out of her reach at times) and the song is flawlessly produced and sounds like any modern pop ballad that could be played on any commercial radio station.

If it wasn't for the fact that the song in itself is little more than a whole load of nothing. It takes a while to discover just how absent any kind of chorus is, but once you do the whole composition just collapses. Voice, performance and production are just there to blur our vision and make us think Amber has been giving something meaningful to sing. Which she hasn't.

Qualifier:
No, I don't think so. It will take a lot to convince the people who want ballads since they have so many to choose from.

My grade: 1/5



Amber - Warrior (Malta 2015)

Runner-up: Malta 2005

In later years, Eurovision has been accused of turning less into a song contest and more into a big circus where you need special effects and gimmicks and fireworks in order to get anywhere.

There is some truth to this, I must sadly admit, but not as much as many critics would have it. Sometimes all you need is the right song and the right performer at the right time.

In Kyiv, far too many countries had brought drums. Not just a drum or two but loads and loads of drums. The nightmare drum award might have gone to Romania but many others were not far behind.

Malta just had a ballad. A very classical ballad, perhaps slightly too reminiscent of "The Power of Love", made famous by Jennifer Rush and Céline Dion, performed by Chiara who, against all odds, had landed a third place in Birmingham seven years earlier.

Chiara was alone on stage, had no special effects and didn't even have a particularly good draw - performing as number 3 out of 24 entries. And yet the ballad broke through, was awarded a lot of points and even though it never really got close to winning it remained a victory for the simple and understated.

A deserved 2nd place?
Well, yes. There were more spectacular entries in the running that kept eating away points from each other. For a ballad, I enjoyed the entry of Israel more. But in no way undeserved.



Chiara - Angel (Malta 2005)

Runner-up: Malta 2002

Some ESC years are bad because the songs are bad. Or mediocre. Every country will send in the song they deem suitable and some years, by coincidence, too many countries will decide not to rise at the task properly at the same time.

Some ESC years are bad because the mix doesn't really work. Tallinn 2002 is the perfect example of this. Most of the songs are fine, really, but there are few standouts and when you heard all the songs you are left with the impression that most songs were a bit samey.

That's when people suddenly will warm to something nobody would have expected them to warm to. Very much like when Europe suddenly embraced Estonia's Tanel & Dave the year before, the televoting audience suddenly fell headlong for Malta's Ira Losco.

Not many would have seen that one coming before the rehearsals start. The Maltese entry was just a happy little ditty with a typical lyric stacking words on top of each other with the only purpose of making them rhyme.

But when Ira entered the stage, she oozed with confidence and managed to convince the audience that her little song actually meant something. That is was relevant, somehow. Very few contenders in the 2002 final had managed to do the same. Many of them had better songs but for some reason they passed the voters by.

And when Ira has passed the bridge and suddenly blows Europe a silver kiss - in one of the cheesiest yet most brilliant gimmicks ever - she almost seems to know she has hit home. Some more points and it would have earned her a victory.

A deserved 2nd place?
Yes. Anyone who can take a song that originally means as little as this one and turn it into something convincing and instantly likeable deserves at least a second place.



Ira Losco - 7th Wonder (Malta 2002)

Is it Malta's turn to win?

When I started watching Eurovision back in the 1980's, the world was still relatively square and predictable and to find a new country in the line-up was a big and exciting event.

I was really enthusiastic when, in 1991, Malta decided to attempt an ESC comeback after a long absence. I knew they had tried their luck in the past and I had a bit of an obsession with the tiny states of Europe. I even had a maltese pen-friend. It's so long ago people still had pen-friends.

(My maltese pen-friend was called André and lived in Lija. If anyone out there knows him, tell him I said hi.)

Anyway, Malta's comeback was a big event for me. I kept my fingers crossed for them to do reasonably well and was really pleased when they did. In 1992 they did even better, ending in 3rd place, and suddenly I just knew they were bound for great things.

I was sure that Malta was sure to win anytime soon, they just needed to a bit of luck.

Here we are, more than twenty years later, and I must admit Malta has not been the winning machine I predicted they would be. But considering what a tiny, tiny nation they are, they have some really impressive placings to show.

This weekend, Malta will be the second country to select their entry for Vienna and who knows - maybe this is their time lucky. Maybe the maltese will take Europe by storm and finally get to host the big thing. Last week's Junior Eurovision organised in Malta suggests they would handle it very well.

I'd welcome a strong entry. I haven't predicted maltese victory since 1994 and it would be nice to do it again. And maybe this time the live performance would also match the preview, unlike back then?



Chris & Moira / More Than Love (Malta 1994 preview)

Nobody's favourite but mine, part 4

Are you ready, folks? Here comes a fourth selection of songs I really liked through the years even though I have a nagging feeling I could be the only one. The former three episodes suggest that I am not alone at all, which leads me nicely onto the first song of the bunch.



Patricia Kraus - No estás solo (Spain 1987)

I never understood why anyone wouldn't like this one. It's original, energetic and pretty modern for it's time, and Patricia could be one of the coolest females ever. She is wearing a leather corset and enough rouge to suggest that she fell headlong onto the makeup-table only seconds before she had to enter the stage, still manage to look like that is the most natural thing ever.

It does take forever until she gets to a chorus but that's not the end of the world, is it? Clearly worth more than the ten points it had to content itself with.



Helen & Joseph - L-Imhabba (Malta 1972)

Malta had a tough start in Eurovision - for their first two entries they sang in their native tongue and ended in last place on both occasions. I can sort of see what the juries meant in 1971 but this adorable little gem would have deserved to be showered in points. The line where they sing about freaks, Hell's Angels and hippies is worth a top ten placing alone. Not to mention the more than impressive body language of the conductor during the instrumental break. And extra points for fashion, of course.



Park Café - Monsieur (Luxembourg 1989)

For the last few years that Luxembourg were in the contest they more seldom commissioned potential hit songs from French record labels - or did nobody want to provide them anymore? - and turned to local talent instead, mostly with pretty moderate success. Park Café entered something as unusual as a song inspired by a recent hit movie - "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" - and provided a far more jazz inspired sound than the audience was used to and the juries remained largely unimpressed.



Telex - Eurovision (Belgium 1980)

Belgium is clearly one of those nutty countries that you just don't know what to expect from. When you least expect it they will do something really crazy and unexpected and most of Europe will sit there with their jaws hanging between their legs, not knowing what hit them.

For some reason, synthesiser pioneers Telex - Belgium's own Kraftwerk but with a sense of humour - decide to throw themselves into competition with a song about the contest in question and a pronounced desire not to be understood and go through the voting without a single point. The stunt failed, the Belgians managed to collect a minor number of points and even avoided the last place, and the trio managed to thoroughly confuse their own fans in the process. What remains is a cute little masterpiece that is sure to make you smile. And when you're done smiling, check out their cover versions of Ça plane pour moi, Twist à Saint-Tropez or Rock Around The Clock. Genius!



Mrs Einstein - Niemand heeft nog tijd (Netherlands 1997)

When Dutch tv selected these feisty females internally they were presented like a group that were sure to rock the boat in a big way in Dublin. They sort of did. Not only were they nicknamed "Old Spice" - which I think was pretty witty - but most people wouldn't believe their ears. A full-tempo rip-off of Paul McCartney's Bond theme Live And Let Die that would leave people out of breath as well as in serious doubt of what the Dutch were thinking.

Only I really, really like it. I think it is fun and energetic and far superior to most entries the Dutch sent in during those eight long years they constantly failed to qualify. Old Spice for the win!

You can win, but can you host?

Winning the Eurovision Song Contest was always a slightly sweaty affair since a victory also gave you the responsibility to host next year's event as well. More challenging for some than for others, but not effortless for anyone.

I was really happy when, in Baku 2012, the EBU finally put their foot down and said they wanted the event to grow smaller in coming years. Smaller venues, fewer delegates and less money spent. Partially due to the financial situation in Europe, of course. It doesn't look good that obscene amounts of money are spent on a tv-show as people struggle to get by in their everyday lives.

But a smaller format for Eurovision also makes it possible for more countries to host. There is already the requirement that any host city must be able to offer a certain amount of quality hotel rooms (the figure 3000 comes to mind but I'm not sure it's correct), which already makes it really hard for some countries to host.

Are we ready to make some sacrifices for a good cause? Could we content ourselves with a lower standard of hotels? With a considerably smaller venue? With a considerably lower amount of accreditations given out? For one year?

Or do we have to just face the music and realise that if some countries win, they will probably not be able to host? Countries like Iceland, Slovenia, Cyprus? Could Malta pull it off? Or this year's bookmaker favourite Armenia?

For me, the Eurovision Song Contest is - and should be - one of the biggest unifying factors in Europe that make countries come together and feel equal. What happens to that idea if a number of participants are already out of the running in advance?

I can just imagine the outcry in 2006 if Finland - after finally winning on its 40th attempt - would have been deemed to small to host and the EBU would have handed the honour to, say, Germany instead. An anticlimax like that is nothing I would wish any participating country, really.

I hope we can see finals in Reykjavík, Ljubljana, Valletta in the future, even if they are smaller than the ones we have grown used to. In the end, the most important aspect should be that the final product looks good on television anyway.

Semi 2: 01 Malta

At some point I figured it would be easy predicting the outcome of the second semi as only five songs will be left out. Then I thought again. In fact, it means that also the lower points given gets greater importance and that the interplay between these will be really hard to predict. However, I think Malta can feel pretty safe.



Firelight - Coming Home (Malta 2014)

This country-flavoured number is an energetic opener for the second semi that really kicks off in style. Organic, well-sung, likeable and with a strong handle in the chorus. Easy to retain, easy to remember when the quick recap flashes over the screen, urging you to vote.

The lead singer is easy on the eye as well as a gifted vocalist and the slight makeover since the national final has enhanced this entry further. The video clip - depicting soldiers during the First World War - could have turned into a horrific cheese-fest but is just touching and feels genuine, giving me a hint that the live performance will be put together by people gifted with good taste.

Qualifier: Yes. Then the question is how well it will stand up against the Dutch entry in the final and who'll get the better starting position of the two. But at this point there should be no concern.

My grade: 3/5

Malta is coming home

I will be honest with you. I haven't seen a Maltese national final for years. I understand that they want to make the biggest showcase possible for local talent, but quantity always seems to overcome quality.

I am convinced the Maltese final would be better if they just selected ten songs but tried their best to find ten really strong ones, instead of filling up the program with too many safe MoR-songs.

So I didn't watch last night when my twitter feed suddenly exploded with (mainly negative) comments about the unexpected winner and what a shame it was that Malta would miss the final in Copenhagen.

Listened to the winner's reprise and thought it sounded a bit messy. Listened again today and was quite positively surprised. I don't know why, but if Australia ever entered Eurovision I wouldn't be surprised if their entry sounded a bit like this.

Organic and lively - perhaps the backing vocals are still a bit messy in parts, but that is fixable - the Maltese entry is likely to stand out from the crowd in Copenhagen. There is personality and hooks and plenty of time to do some serious nip and tuck before the final version should be presented.

I have said it before and it needs to be said again: given the size of Malta, it is impressive how strong and interesting contenders they manage to find in the end. Perhaps Firelight don't have the word winner written on their foreheads but I look forward to seeing how far this will carry come May.

Firelight - Coming Home (Malta 2014)

2013 prediction: How wrong was I?

Yesterday I had a stab at predicting the outcome of the Eurovision final in Malmö and looking back on it now, I realise I wasn't completely wrong.

Out of 26 countries, 14 placed according to my prediction. Another five found themselves only one placing away from what I predicted. I can live with that. Then there were some spectacular miscalculations, of course.

FRANCE - I liked Amandine's raw and tempestuous performance, but this kind of song is hard to sell to a mainstream audience. I appreciate when people try to break out of the most common formats, but maybe there are limits as to how far you can go without putting people off.

FINLAND - Despite all the publicity and a very energetic appearance, Finland only scored a mere 13 points. None of which from its neighbour countries. Keeping the masses entertained does not automatically mean they will reward you with points.

GERMANY - I felt like I ruined the party for everyone yesterday not thinking Cascada had a chance of surpassing fourth place. In retrospect, my prediction was almost hysterically over-optimistic. Probably the miscalculation of the year.

GEORGIA - The G:son-penned love ballad failed to set the scoreboard on fire this time. While thinking the song and performance deserved more, I'm relieved the cheap trick didn't work out.

MALTA - I didn't think Gianluca would hit home the way he did but I was happy to be wrong. For a while, when he was not too far behind the top scorers, I secretly hoped for Malta to be the unexpected twist that would suddenly collect a bunch of twelvepointers and sail to victory.

IRELAND - I did get a bad feeling during Ryan's performance and thought to myself that this could be the one generic modern pop song too many for the audience, but I never in a million years thought this one would be left in last place. Completely undeserved.

DENMARK - Of course I saw the Danish song as a potential winner, but this is the second year that the biggest favourite wins by quite a comfortable margin. Also, the winner is a very typical safe old-school eurosong, and I would have hoped for the contest to have moved on a bit from that. It would have been so nice with a daring and more original winner. Like Netherlands, like Norway.

But all in all a great show with great songs and some really fine performances. Just possibly maybe I like the songs better than the final result, but you can't have it all, can you?

Semi 2: these are my ten qualifiers

If there was pressure to predict the first semi final then this second one feels like a nightmare for various reasons. Mainly because it all seems very open and I have no idea whether to predict with my heart or with my head.

I feel sure about five of ten qualifiers, perhaps. Then it feels like the placings 6 - 16 or so are one big grand lottery. How will the points spread between the candidates? If they spread enormously you might need less points than ever to make top ten tonight. Then a couple of high points could be enough. Which opens up for basically anyone.

But again - I repeat my old mantra that this is just a game and nothing to be taken too seriously. If I tell myself that a number of times I might believe it in the end.

1. LATVIA Here We Go / PeR
Just like Austria, this is a very good opening number and for a long time I thought this would be the happy pill that would appeal to the audience in the end. But I thought the same about Trackshittaz last year. You've got to learn sometime.
Qualifier: No

2. SAN MARINO Crisalide / Valentina Monetta 
This is where the real prediction nightmare starts. If you are not a eurovision fan and you don't know how much Valentina improved since last year, all you are left with as a ballad that never fully develops and a dated beat from the Siegel factory, which hasn't worked since 1999. This prediction is more based on me wanting to see San Marino on a scoreboard for once. Heart wins over head.
Qualifier: Yes

3. FYR MACEDONIA Pred da se razdeni / Esma & Lozano
I still think this is a dismal song that merely uses Esma as a special effect and nothing more, but you could have way worse special effects than her. And I'd rather have her than many others on offer tonight.
Qualifier: Yes

4. AZERBAIJAN Hold Me / Farid Mammadov
A weak song enhanced by technology, pretty much like last year's Azeri entry. Of course it will work, at least at this point.
Qualifier: Yes

5. FINLAND Marry Me / Krista Siegfrieds
Catchy, instant, over the top, girl on girl kissing, wedding dress. This one will stay in the audience's mind and will sail into the final. Well done, girl.
Qualifier: Yes

6. MALTA Tomorrow / Gianluca
A very charming song with a very charming singer has, reportedly, turned unnecessarily dull and not striking enough on stage. I still want to think that an ukulele and eyes as charming as Gianluca's will be enough, but I'm not sure at all.
Qualifier: Yes

7. BULGARIA Samo shampioni / Elitsa & Stoyan
Despite liking them a lot in Helsinki six years ago, I did not predict them to qualify, neither did I see their top five placing coming in advance. So maybe the trick will work again, despite this song lacking everything that made "Voda" good. But I don't think so.
Qualifier: No

8. ICELAND Ég á líf / Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson
This is a pretty little ballad in many ways. Iceland has a way of squeezing themselves into the final where they ultimately don't do so well. It could work this time around as well, but the battle for ballad points is ferocious and Iceland would need a large portion of luck to make it this time.
Qualifier: No

9. GREECE Alcohol Is Free / Koza Mostra feat Agathonas Iakovidis
This is another truly divisive song that certain people will detest, but temper, attitude, forza and dancing musicians dressed in kilts will win in the end.
Qualifier: Yes

10. ISRAEL Rak bishvilo / Moran Mazor
One week ago I predicted that Iceland would make it and Israel would not. Today I swap them around. I still think the song would need more of a climax - I expect more than it ever delivers every time I hear it - but think Moran's intensity will beat the Icelandic cool in the end. And I doubt there is room for them both in the final.
Qualifier: Yes

11. ARMENIA Lonely Planet / Dorians
I really hate bringing up the subject of diaspora voting, but the Armenian Head of Delegation mentioned it herself in their press conference this week. In my mind, this is the weakest song of the second semi, but will potential friendship points be enough to take it to the final. For the sake of this competition, I hope not.
Qualifier: No

12. HUNGARY Kedvesem / ByeAlex
This is one of my top favourites this year. But I think this introverted but brilliant little gem will be too demanding from a grand audience on a Thursday night and that it could very well mean ByeHungary in the end. I would love to be wrong on this one, but I don't see it happening.
Qualifier: No

13. NORWAY I Feed You My Love / Margaret Berger
After all these question marks it feels wonderful to be this sure again. Norway is a potential winner this year and is a sure qualifier tonight.
Qualifier: Yes

14. ALBANIA Identitet / Bledar Sejko & Adrian Lulgjuraj
I like these rockers, I like their song and I like their sound. But just like in 2011, I think this will be a bit too much for Europe. Unfortunately.
Qualifier: No

15. GEORGIA Waterfall / Nodi & Sophie
Big voices and a big - albeit predictable - ballad. Will work wonders and steal lots and lots of points and ruin the chances for most other ballad entries - how many are there room for besides this one?
Qualifier: Yes

16. SWITZERLAND You And Me / Takasa
Alongside Armenia, my least favourite song in this semi. Three minutes of very little action and very little else. The big question is if people are prepared to vote for a group just because they feature the oldest person ever on a eurovision stage. And again, for the sake of this competiton, I hope the answer is no.
Qualifier: No

17. ROMANIA It's My Life / Cezar
Is this a good song? No, not particularly. Will people laugh at Cezar tonight? Quite a few will, yes. But perhaps the final needs a performance like this. To ensure entertainment value for everyone.
Qualifier: Yes

So these are my ten qualifiers tonight: San Marino, FYR Macedonia, Azerbaijan, Finland, Malta, Greece, Israel, Norway, Georgia and Romania. My heart is bleeding for Hungary, but I really don't dare hope that they will make it.

Am I sure? Not the least. Azerbaijan, Greece, Norway, Georgia and Finland will be in the final. Everything else is up for grabs. If I have more than five right tonight, that will be a victory in itself.

So bring it on, prove me wrong!

ESC 2013: who is our winner, then?

Two weeks before the big eurovision final and right before the rehearsals start, I managed to finish my big review of the entries in their preview versions.

At some point somebody asked me in a comment who would get my full five-pointer out of these entries and the answer is that nobody got a rating of five.

No less than thirteen countries (one third of the line-up) got four points out of five possible, and for me that describes this year perfectly. It is a good year with many strong contenders but it lacks those complete standout, runaway victory-type of entries.

Which is arguably a good thing. With a bit of luck we could get a tight, nerve-wracking, intense voting sequence that will keep us in suspense up until the very last country has cast its votes. It has been ten years since we had a voting like that. It would be about time.

What about my thirteen four-pointers then? Well, they can be divided into a number of sub-categories:

Personal favourites

I don't really believe that Estonia, Greece, Hungary or Malta will have any real chance of winning the big final, they just happen to ignite something in me. Nobody would be happier than me if I was wrong but I don't think I am.

The potential surprises

I was there to see Marie N win the 2002 final. I remember the sound of everyone's jaws dropping as Riva won for Yugoslavia in 1989. Sometimes the unlikely will happen and then Finland, Belgium, Ireland or France could break through to the audience in an unexpected way and start collecting points aplenty.

The gourmet entries
Italy's song is perhaps too slow, Norway is too modern and has too sharp edges and the Netherlands sounds more like a classy film soundtrack than a eurovision winner. Don't forget that sometimes quality stands out and wins through despite not being tailor-made for this contest. Think Molitva. Think Yohanna.

The crowd-pleasers

Denmark is the biggest favourite to win and has a most easily accessible formula with its singalong chorus and tin whistle. Ukraine has a very engaging performer and always knows how to tweak the last little drop of entertainment out of their songs.

Conclusion?

Do I have to say something clever to sum this up now? Before any rehearsals have started or anything like that, I will just state that my dream winner - the one I think could be the best choice for the future of the contest - would be Norway, Netherlands or Italy. Sharp edges and hit potential for the win.

Ask me again in a week and I might have changed my mind completely. Bring on the rehearsals.

Semi 2: 06 Malta

The Maltese entry is a simple and almost aggressively laidback and uncomplicated little song. Sometimes that is all you need. That and a big smile.



Gianluca - Tomorrow (Malta 2013)

When Gianluca won the national final, I instantly liked both him and the song - thinking this was a very pleasant package full of sunshine - without considering them serious contenders for Malmö.

A pleasant little break, not much more.

And then the song kept growing and growing. It found its way into the back of my head and kept popping out when I least expected it. Then came the very sweet video clip and I was won over completely.

I'm not promising Malta anything, but if Gianluca breaks through the cameras - which I think he will - this could be their finest moment in years. If they manage to keep the whole thing as easy, light hearted and uncomplicated as it is now, then I think many people will find themselves seriously smitten by this.

Qualifier:
Yes. If there is any justice in the world, Gianluca will smile his way into the final and perhaps gain quite a respectable amount of points there.

My grade: 4/5

Tobson's Ranking: #23 Malta

This is still a pretty weak song but a likeable performer and a silly dance routine can go a very long way.



Kurt Calleja - This Is The Night (Malta 2012)

Before the contest, I didn't believe in Maltese success - there just wasn't enough of a song going on to make anyone happy. But Kurt Calleja had more energy and dedication that I had foreseen.

Armed with a silly but effective little dance routine, he managed to fill his tiny chorus with plenty of feelgood and a presence that made quite a few televoters melt. Enough of them to secure a spot in the final, for the first time since 2009.

All of Malta can rejoice in that achievement. But the success comes down to Kurt and his team, and nobody else. Very well done. Imagine how well he could have scored with a better song.

My grade: 2/5

The 2012 review, part five

One semi down, one more to go. Here are the first five songs of the second semi, complete with predictions and all.

1. SERBIA



Željko Joksimović - Nije ljubav stvar

Being the first song out can be a bit tricky these days, but Dino Merlin showed last year that it isn't a major problem when you are a Balkan star. Given how popular this kind of entry has been for the last eight years (since the success of "Lane moje") and what a convincing performer Željko is, this one will have no major problem in convincing the audience it deserves a spot in the final.

Surprisingly enough, it has a tougher job convincing me. I, who should be won over already by the first note, hear how well-crafted the whole thing is but find myself lacking something. A bit of a surprise element, perhaps? This is really Željko by the numbers, which is not bad. Just a tiny bit... predictable.

Qualifyer:
Oh yes. Nothing can stop Serbia at this point. The question is how far this will carry in the final. Top five? Top ten? Or is the whole formula in for an unpleasant surprise?

My grade: 3/5

2. FYR MACEDONIA



Kaliopi - Crno i belo

In a parallel universe Kaliopi would already have represented her country once in Oslo 1996, but that weird preselection mode used as a one-off that year kept her out of the running. This time she is back with a vengeance, with a song slightly more likely to hit a chord with the voting masses.

Sometimes it has proven a bit too demanding for the general audience when your entry changes its pace midway through, but Kaliopi's mere appearance and presence should be enough to keep all the bits and pieces together.

Qualifyer:
Yes, I really hope so. A fine song meets an excellent singer and stuff like that should be rewarded.

My grade: 4/5

3. NETHERLANDS



Joan Franka - You And Me

It really took me a while to make my mind up about this entry, as it contained several components that I liked. I kind of like the folksy feeling in this song, there is something enjoyable in the rhythm, and I sense talent under all those feathers. Joan has a quality of Joan-Baez-meets-Cher-at-a-funfair that is pleasant enough.

What really bothers me is the song - bursting full of tiny things that start to annoy me as the whole thing trots along. And whenever it leaps into the falsetto register, I reach for my remote control.

Qualifyer:
No. The Dutch have seen stronger songs than this pass unnoticed in the past. But I think the Dutch would deserve a bit of happiness, and if Joan would make the final cut I would be all smiles for them.

My grade: 1/5

4. MALTA



Kurt Calleja - This Is The Night

After Malta had made its comeback in 1991, I just kept waiting for them to win. They felt like serious contenders for victory almost every year, but now it feels like a while ago. The last couple of Maltese entries have felt a bit pale and washed-out, and this ditty is no exception.

What saves this entry a bit is Kurt himself, a cheerful chap with positive energy and perhaps the kindest eyes of all contenders. But what good will kind eyes do you when your song is not stronger than this?

Qualifyer:
No. This is too lean and uninspired to do really well, unless it stands out as a welcome little pause in the middle of more ambitious songs. I'd say that is pretty unlikely to happen.

My grade: 1/5

5. BELARUS



Litesound - We Are The Heroes

My first impression of this one was pretty positive - there is a clear sustainable chorus going on here and the group seems competent enough. And yet, when I have heard it a couple of times, the air starts leaking out. Like soufflé, it finds itself flat on the bottom of the baking tin.

There really isn't anything wrong with it. It just isn't engaging enough. Also, not everybody should wear trousers like those.

Qualifyer:
No. The unlucky draw, in the middle of some less remarkable entries, is probably sealing the fate of this group.

My grade: 1/5

Malta 2012: Kurt could have potential

Last night, Malta selected their entrant for Baku out of sixteen hopeful contestants in the national final. After the televoting results had been added to the opinions of an international panel of judges, Kurt Calleja beat Claudia Faniello into second place.

There was a tiny uproar among the international hardcore fans (readily angered by the fact that the long final was designed to entertain the local audience and not them) who would have preferred the polite little runner-up ballad to win instead.

I think Kurt was quite a sensible choice after all. There is potential in the package, but there is work to be done.

The song needs to be re-arranged and given a much more powerful, slick and energetic sound. Right now it sounds like something plastered together in a hurry in a low budget home studio. That will not do. Send it to professionals and make it sound convincing.

The stage perfomance needs severe work. Call a good choreographer, make sure there is a routine to back the whole thing up. Right now the people on stage look like a happy bunch singing spontaneously at a village party. That will not do.

Kurt himself needs some major vocal coaching, not only to avoid losing his breath but also to make sure he avoids falling into the "How's it going", "How 'ya all doing", "Come on Baku"-routine. You should perform for the audience, not shout at them. This is ever so important. They are not your friends, they expect you to do your work. The performance from last night won't do.

But given that the proper amount of knowledge and talent is invested into this package, Malta could end up the happy clappy song that scrapes into the final on basis of its pure energy.

It is certainly worth a try.



Kurt Calleja - This Is The Night (Malta 2012)