Tobson's Big ESC 2019 review, part 1

It is a bit quiet around this blog most of the year but suddenly spring is in the air and 40-something new Eurovision entries call my name and demand to be reviewed. Who am I to say no? Here we go with this year's 41 entries spread over seven blog posts.

Bulgaria and Ukraine are taking a year off (a particularly stupid move in Ukraine's case but let's get back to that, perhaps). This is how the first semi will begin!

01 CYPRUS
Tamta / Replay

Cyprus got closer to victory than ever before in 2018 and many words have been used by people wishing to declare how this year's Cypriot offering is nothing but a copy of last year's effort. Since they asked the same team for a new song it is pretty obvious they wanted to stay in the same area and in my book this is the better song of the two. Lively and updated but hardly alone in its genre this time.

Qualifier:
Absolutely, beyond the shadow of a doubt. A bit unexpected to kick off the first semi with a song as strong as this but the final is all the matters anyway.

My grade: 4/5


02 MONTENEGRO
D-Mol / Heaven

If there is any sort of consensus about anything this year, then it is how chanceless poor Montenegro is. So chanceless that it is, indeed, a bit cruel to underline this fact by giving them the real death slot in the running order. The six happy youngsters in D-Mol make me think of Aarzemnieki - Latvia's hopefuls in Copenhagen 2014 that made for pleasant company during three minutes but never really stood any chance of qualifying. I thoroughly enjoy this despite all its flaws - or perhaps even because of them - but if this one makes it to the final it would be a surprise big enough to stop time.

Qualifier:
Nope. Never in a million years.

My grade: 2/5


03 FINLAND
Darude feat Sebastian Rejman / Look Away

Sending Darude to Eurovision seemed like quite a nifty idea at first. "Sandstorm" might be his only major hit but it is fondly remembered by many people around the globe. People who could possibly be overwhelmed by nostalgia and vote for him. Unfortunately this entry is more Sebastian Rejman feat Darude than the other way around and the old hit-DJ finds himself relegated to being a mere special effect in his own entry, dancing around in the background like an embarrassing parent at a school disco. The song starts out pretty well only to turn almost shockingly dull before the chorus.

Qualifier:
Most unlikely. It really would be time for Finland to ditch the UMK concept that clearly isn't working and try to replace it with something more worthwhile.

My grade: 1/5


04 POLAND
Tulia / Fire of Love (Pali się)

This is the point where many a western european viewer might splutter out the drink they allowed themselves on a Tuesday night. White voice - a very special vocal technique reminiscent of a controlled scream - is a common feature in eastern folklore but will sound very exotic and unexpected to many others. Add a song that is remarkably similar to "I Am The Walrus" and suddenly you find yourself with a package that works and the initial shock is likely to turn into something else before three minutes have passed.

Qualifier:
Yes, I think so. This entry has the personality and originality that so many of the songs in the lineup desperately lack.

My grade: 3/5


05 SLOVENIA
Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl / Sebi

Every year there is a song that really shouldn't do well based on what viewers usually like and yet defies all logic and scores well. This year, that surprise song should be this soft little whisper in Slovenian. A lovely and endearing little entry and the musical equivalent of a long, warm hug on a chilly day. Introverted but inviting at the same time.

Qualifier:

Yes. It must be or I will be terribly disappointed in everyone and everything.

My grade: 4/5

06 CZECH REPUBLIC

Lake Malawi / Friend Of A Friend

For the second year running, the Czech republic sends in a light, dance-friendly pop song performed by a cute guy who is potentially a bit of a douche, at least judging from the lyrics. This is far from universally acclaimed by the ESC fandom but what many of its detractors seem to forget is that this is one of few entries on offer this year that is light-hearted and effortless-sounding. Like a bunch of guys in a student band having the time of their lives. In a good way, not in a Manel Navarro sort of way.

Qualifier:

Yes. No need to worry about that.

My grade: 4/5

Quite a good start to the first semi, n'est-ce pas? If you want to agree or disagree with me, please leave a comment or send me a tweet. All the preview clips can be seen here.

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Tobson's Big ESC 2018 review, part 1

We are very, very close to the 2018 Eurovision Song Contest and I for one can't wait to see how Portugal will pull off hosting the ESC after waiting for this opportunity for so long.

Fate has been nice to RTP as it handed them the strongest lineup for many years to work with. Many of these songs are so good, they need no LED screens to make them come alive and shine.

Here are my thoughts on the songs, judging from this years preview clips, which you can see on the official Eurovision YouTube Channel.

01. AZERBAIJAN
Aisel / X My Heart

There are many interesting things going on in the running order this year. Are they clues? Quite certainly Christer Björkman has a finger or two in this pie. Why would he put a song like this first of all in the semi? It is nice and a good opener but lacks any kind of personality or temper or anything to make it stand out in a semi as strong as this. Is this the year when Azerbaijan falls out already in the semi?

Qualifier:
I wouldn't bet my house on it.

My grade: 2/5

02. ICELAND
Ari Ólafsson / Our Choice

Somebody could write a scientific essay on when Iceland lost their mojo in this contest. Was it when Yohanna managed to take something sweet and inoffensive and turn it into a silver medal in Moscow 2009? After last year's attempt at edge, Iceland is back at the sweet and inoffensive. Young Ari is a good singer and an adorable personality but this song is so terribly clichéd and dated that it defies description. And the lyrics is just the final kiss of death.

Qualifier:
No. The most likely contender to end last in the entire semi.

My grade: 1/5

03. ALBANIA
Eugent Bushpepa / Mall

Albania does a whole lot of things right. They stay true to their own selves, they keep sending songs that say something about the local music scene performed by local stars. And yet they have struggled to make an impact lately. This song is less complicated and more accessible than recent efforts and Eugent delivers the goods like he really means whatever he is singing. Had this been drawn into the weaker second semi instead, it could really have stood a chance.

Qualifier:
No. There are too many good songs fighting it out for only ten spots. Rotten luck but that's the rules of the game.

My grade: 2/5

04. BELGIUM
Sennek / A Matter Of Time

After three consecutive killer songs from Wallonia, also Flanders woke up and copied the winning concept of their countrymen: sniff out some fresh talent and give them more or less complete liberty to create a compelling entry. And would you believe it - it works also across the linguistic border. Rather Bond-esque (a bit of a trend this year) and most compelling, performed by an intriguing singer.

Qualifier:
Yes. This must qualify or everyone must resign.

My grade: 5/5

05. CZECH REPUBLIC
Mikolas Josef / Lie To Me

The first time I heard this song I thought it was really super annoying. There is a fine line between being annoying and entertaining, it seems. Dumb but irresistibly catchy, performed by someone who knows exactly what it takes to make a package like this work. My only regret is that the camel is not allowed on stage.

Qualifier:
Yes. You bet. And for the first time, Czech republic could make it into the higher regions of the top ten too.

My grade: 4/5

06. LITHUANIA
Ieva Zasimauskaitė / When We're Old

One thing is certain - you never know in advance what sort of song Lithuania will come up with. This one is the most sincere and tender thing they have entered in a long time, sung in a delicate way by a very likeable singer. The kind of entry that would really deserve to get rewarded big time.

Qualifier:
No. I'm afraid not. Had this one been drawn in the second half, then maybe. Now it will be too intimate too early on in the running order and get forgotten. Unless the juries absolutely adore it and save it.

My grade: 3/5

07. ISRAEL
Netta / Toy

40 years after Izhar Cohen and 20 years after Dana International - wouldn't it be nice if Israel won the contest with something surprising again? Netta is a real personality with a strong and personable voice and the chicken clucking gimmick is sheer brilliance. However, this entry is also sure to be very divisive. How well with it click with a mainstream audience in the end?

Qualifier:
Oh yes. That's hardly a problem. The question is how far this craziness will go in the final.

My grade: 4/5

08. BELARUS
Alekseev / Forever

More than one has described the first semi in Lisbon as a "blood bath". Colourful metaphor and all, but many of the songs lined up would have stood a better chance in the second semi. Like Belarus, whose pop song is quite good - despite the fact that it breaks the rules and should be disqualified - but maybe not good enough to break through. The new edit does it no favours and it had been nice had Alekseev been able to sing it properly live.

Qualifier:
Borderline but my gut feeling tells me this one will be out by quite a slim margin.

My grade: 2/5

09. ESTONIA
Elina Nechayeva / La forza

What a relief when somebody is finally doing proper opera singing at Eurovision. No funny games, no pop verses, no funny hats. Elina is just singing her modern aria beautifully and gracefully. Regardless if she can keep the dress projections from the national final or not, this is an oasis of class and style.

Qualifier:
It does run the risk of being the Blackbird of the year, but I do think Estonia is back in the final with this one.

My grade: 3/5

10. BULGARIA
Equinox / Bones

Bulgaria came back to the ESC transformed into a nation of modern and compelling pop and they stay true to form also this year. Bones is perhaps more complicated and less instant and a more risky choice. Applause for anyone not willing to just play it safe!

Qualifier:
Yes, most certainly. This is maybe not winning material like last year, but getting to the final should be a walk in the park.

My grade: 3/5

Tobson's Big ESC 2017 Review, part 3

One of my problems through the years as I have done my big review is to make the numbers add up and even out in the end as I predict whether a song is a qualifier or not. Some year I ended up with twelve qualifiers in the same semi.

Maybe this is not an exact science. The conclusion - will this qualify or not - is maybe more of a gut feeling rather than the ultimate analysis. There will be a time for ultimate analysis as well - closer to the final, when we know about rehearsals and stuff - and then my predicted qualifiers will be no more then ten per semi.

10. GREECE
Demy / This Is Love

It probably shook the Greek delegation to miss out on a place in the final last year, so they went back to the safest thing they could think of. They organised a small national final where Demy - who's a bit of a star back home - sung three songs written by top composer and producer Dimitris Kontopoulous who had his fair share of success at Eurovision and almost won the whole shebang for Russia last year. The big question mark here is why a good performer like Demy couldn't get a better song than this tired old charter disco? If Kontopoulous is such a genius, how did he fail to come up with something strong than this pretty dated song?

Qualifier:
Borderline. There are good elements here - the verses build nicely and the orchestral crescendo before the last chorus is cool. Greece is the only country in this semi turn up with a party vibe on top volume. But the chorus is super duper flat and disappointing.

My grade: 2/5



Demy / This Is Love (Greece 2017 preview)

11. POLAND
Kasia Moś / Flashlight

Poland always had a thing for drama and this ballad comes in an excellent arrangement with intriguing strings and a very big drum sound to increase the effect. Kasia is a good singer too but this song would have needed an extra minute to fully unfold. Now it just builds and builds and then suddenly ends without reaching any kind of climax. The bridge between the verse and the chorus is a bit clumsy and clunky too. But maybe none of this will matter in the end.

Qualifier:

Probably yes. Last year, Poland ended third in the televote with a slightly underwhelming entry and unless the Poles in exile around the continent have taken their enthusiasm down a notch or two, this one should storm into the top ten. If it deserves to is another question entirely.

My grade: 2/5

Kasia Moś / Flashlight (Poland 2017 preview)

12. MOLDOVA

SunStrike Project / Hey Mamma

Usually a quite strong player, Moldova has three rough years behind them and would deserve a break and some positive vibes. To achieve that, they re-remployed SunStroke Project who in all fairness didn't do too well on their first attempt but ended up being a worldwide internet phenomenon. Now they stand on their own - sadly no Olia Tira in sight - but still have the saxophone and the violin at hand to spice up the package. Plenty of good mood and quirky dance moves but the song in itself is a bit square and unspectacular and gets a bit too repetitive for its own good.

Qualifier:

Borderline. Europe will have to be at its chirpiest to vote heavily for this. Perhaps too much of a recycled version of something seen and heard before to do really well. Enjoyable but old news.

My grade: 3/5

SunStroke Project / Hey Mamma (Moldova 2017 preview)

13. ICELAND

Svala / Paper

After what seemed like an endless stream of perfectly well intended and totally harmless ditties, Iceland found their groove again. Nobody could be happier about that than I am and I welcome the oddly captivating Svala onto the ESC stage. However, she did have some bad luck when she was drawn into the same semi as some other females inhabiting the same sort of dark and moody electro soundscape and she will have to compete with the likes of Belgium, Azerbaijan and Latvia for the viewers' attention. That could prove to be a bumpier ride than it should be.

Qualifier:

I sure hope so but there is also the risk of this one being three points short and ending in eleventh place. I keep my fingers crossed that the gamble will pay off and that we will see more edge from Iceland in future contests. Edge is what they do best.

My grade: 4/5

Svala / Paper (Iceland 2017 preview)

14. CZECH REPUBLIC

Martina Bárta / My Turn

Compared to their first short and disastrous run of entries, also Czech republic seems to have found their own thing. Soulful, earthy, organic stuff delivered by top class singers. The kind of thing that is lovely to listen to but that possibly stands a lesser chance of getting noticed and voted at a song contest. Martina has a wonderful voice and this could have been a very classy track on a very solid album in the late 1970's. That is a compliment, in case you wondered.

Qualifier:

No, unless Martina totally pours her heart out for all the viewers to see. Then she could stand a tiny chance, but most probably this piece of impeccable songwriting needs a listen or two too many and will make an early exit.

My grade: 3/5

Martina Bárta / My Turn (Czech republic 2017 preview)

Semi 1: 10 Czech republic / I Stand

Not even with the very best of intentions could anyone truthfully call the Czech republic's eurovision run a successful one. Out of all 43 participants in Stockholm, Czech republic is the only country never to have made it to the final.

This year they had the misfortune to place themselves in the most competitive group of all: the female mid-tempo radio-friendly belter. There is an abundance of songs like these. Not all of them will make it to the final, regardless of how good they are. They will eat each other, so to speak.

I have still decided to keep my hopes up. This is one of the very best female ballads of the year and given Gabriela's extensive performing experience maybe this could turn electric enough to convince Europe.

Qualifier:
Borderline. It really needs power and conviction but it is not impossible. Hope never dies, as I heard the Czechs say before.

My grade: 4/5



Gabriela Gunčíková / I Stand (Czech republic 2016 preview clip)

Semi 2: 08 Czech republic

The Czech republic took part three times with disastrous results before pulling out and I for one thought they had left the party forever with no intention of returning. That they decided to come back could be seen as a big a surprise as Australia's participation.

In a seemingly ambitious internal selection they singled out this dark and moody ballad, performed by two of the most established rock vocalists to be found on the local scene. And the final result feels polished and professional.

Marta and Václav are most appealing together and have great voices but unfortunately the song in itself never takes off. It slowly builds and builds, promising a climax that never really comes.

Most of all, it reminds me of neighbouring Slovakia's 2009 effort which was also musically solid and performed by a talented duo and - as a cherry on top - had a vocal explosion on offer by the end of the song. All that hard work and all they got was a second last place in their semi.

I'm afraid the Czech couple won't do much better. I always like this song every time it plays and then I'm perfectly incapable of remembering a single note of it once it's gone.

Qualifier:
No. Sadly not. I would have wished it to, just to encourage Czech television to stay with us this time. Czech republic is the only country in this year's line-up that has never performed in an ESC final. Hope never dies.

My grade: 2/5



Marta Jandová & Václav Noid Bárta - Hope Never Dies (Czech republic 2015)

Welcome back, Czech republic

We haven't really seen a lot of the Czech republic at Eurovision through the years. They took part for three consecutive years - assembling a grand total of nine points, ending last in the semi final twice - before pulling out of the competition.

Who could blame them after scores like that?

On the other hand - after hearing the Czech offerings, who could blame Europe for not showering them with points?

Very much like their sister nation Slovakia, the Czech republic really got off on the wrong foot with the Eurovision Song Contest without ever really seeming to figure out what kind of song could go down well or take them to the final.

First and foremost, the Czech fiascos came down to poor choices, nothing else. Kabát were a credible rock act armed with the kind of song that would always find itself struggling in a contest of this kind, while Tereza Kerndlová gave a weak and shouty performance of an almost violently average song. The national finals that resulted in these entries contained a number of far more interesting music and performers.

The internal selection of Gipsy.cz still stands out as one of the most dubious choices ever made by any broadcaster ever. Almost like they were looking for failure and a reason to pull out.

Does it sound like I'm not happy about Czech republic coming back for the 2015 contest? Then you are wrong - I am very happy indeed. Thrilled.

I just hope they will have a new team in charge and shake up a daring, modern and surprising entry that will finally let them taste success.