Tobson's Big ESC 2019 review, part 7

Being pre-qualified for the final is a high price to pay for the big five. At least many people have said - since the inauguration of the semi final in 2004 - that being heard just the once will be a huge disadvantage for the countries who pay the most to participate.

However, the overwhelming majority of the viewers see and hear all entries for the first time on Saturday night. Possibly they have watched the semi final with their own entry but many will give the other semi final - where they can't even vote - a miss.

The lack of success for the Big Five largely comes down to what we all knew anyway. Several of these broadcasters have shown a real lack of commitment to the contest. Some of them want to make a splash but seem to genuinely lack an understanding of what kind of entry would give a strong result.

In this last part of my review, let's have a look at the six pre-qualified countries. If you want to read about the semi finalists, you will find them here in part one, two, three, four, five and six.


FRANCE
Bilal Hassani / Roi

France taking the opportunity to send a young genderqueer and openly gay muslim to the final in Tel Aviv is close to a stroke of genius. The right to be yourself and identify the way you wish belongs to everyone, nicely underlined by the performer as well as the lyrics. The only thing that is a real shame is that the actual song isn't better. Madame Monsieur made an impression last year but now they just threw something together in a hurry and that is never a good idea. Also - who is going to break it to the French that this kind of blending languages only sounds half-cooked and doesn't work?

Potential winner:
No. I really want to like this but my interest is fading long before we even get to the chorus.

My grade: 1/5


GERMANY
S!sters / Sister

Read this followingsentence out loud to yourself: This song was rejected by Switzerland so Germany picked it up and entered it in their national final instead. Does that sound like a particularly good idea to you? This sounds just like the kind of songwriting exercise the Swiss have entered far too many times in the last decade. There is nothing really wrong with it but it is far from engaging and doesn't leave much of an impression once it is over. Something about the miaowing chorus also really annoys me.

Potential winner:
No, but another potential last place. Germany's third in five years, if so. It is clearly time for German tv to shake up the team in charge of their national finals. Again.

My grade: 1/5


ITALY
Mahmood / Soldi

Italy has done it again and enters yet another bold, original song that challenges the whole idea and concept of what a eurovision entry could be. Mahmood is another exquisite performer - tiptoeing the borderland between of arrogance and sensibility in his stage persona - and the song is a gripping piece of drama about young boys and absent fathers. The single best thing about Italy using the Sanremo festival to select their ESC entrants is that we keep getting contemporary and challenging state of the art material, designed to win a song contest - just not the ESC.

Potential winner:
Yes. It must be. But for some reason the so called expert juries have held Italy down recently. Last year the juries had Italy in a ridiculously low 17th place. If the juries shape up even a little, then Rome 2020 could be a real possibility.

My grade: 5/5


SPAIN
Miki / La venda

Using the most popular talent show your country has ever seen in order to select your ESC entrant could be a smart move but if you have no idea what kind of song your newly found talent should perform, no popularity on home ground will mean anything at all in the end. Spain has sent their Operación Triunfo stars off to Europe with pretty mediocre songs (with the obvious exception of Beth, who should have done a lot better) but young Miki has fared at least a bit better. Equipped with a mixture of ska and Catalonian rumba, at least "La venda" provides a bit of temper and speed for the final.

Potential winner:
No, far from. But on a very good day, Miki could have a chance to place close to the top ten.

My grade: 3/5


UNITED KINGDOM
Michael Rice / Bigger Than Us

If selecting a reject from Switzerland is an unusual move, opting for Swedish leftovers is a lot more common. (Did Germany just confuse Sweden and Switzerland? An easy mistake to make.) This is the song John Lundvik wanted to enter Melodifestivalen with before being persuaded into going for "Too Late For Love" instead. You can clearly tell these two songs grew on the same tree as they share a very similar gospel vibe, but where Sweden's entry is elegant and elaborated, this is just generic. Michael Rice can sing - if you like his vibrato or not comes down to personal taste, I suppose - but was totally lost on stage and came across as pretty inexperienced in the national final.

Potential winner:
No. But if someone instructs the singer where the cameras are and what they do, the UK should at least avoid the very bottom placings this time around.

My grade: 2/5


14 ISRAEL
Kobi Marimi / Home

Putting on a Eurovision Song Contest is hard work and you can sometimes tell in the approach of the host nation how they would prefer not to do it twice in a row. You already won, you already have everyone's attention. You can sit back and just enjoy the ride and content yourself with a dignified place mid-table. At first I thought Israel aimed a lot lower than that with this ballad. How can you even describe it? Pretentious, I think, is the best word. Sung by a very dramatic singing actor. I dismissed it completely until it started growing on me and now the hook in the chorus won't leave me alone. Like it or dislike, but this song sure has something.

Potential winner:
No, whatever it has it doesn't extend that far. But it could end up a bit higher than most people expect.

My grade: 2/5


If you want to agree or disagree with me, please leave a comment or send me a tweet. All the preview clips can be seen here.

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Tobson's Big ESC 2018 review, part 5

The fifth and last part of my Big Review will focus on the six songs that already made it all the way to Saturday night and the 2018 ESC final. If you want to know more about what goes on in the semis, then check out parts one, two, three and four.

Before 2008, ten countries were pre-qualified for the final in addition to the big spenders. Nice for them but clearly the current system is better. Just because you are good one year does not guarantee that you deserve a place in the final also the next year. Thanks to that system we had to sit through horrors like "Loca" and "Together We Are One" on a Saturday.

Another advantage of the current system is that no prediction made before Friday morning - the day before the final - is anything but advanced guessing. Not until then do we know what the competition really looks like. And that is so very exciting.

Since we don't have the running order for these songs as yet, here are the big five alphabetically and then Portugal last.

FRANCE
Madame Monsieur / Mercy

One of the many songs in this lineup that actually has something to say. The message can be seen as an accusing finger towards rich Europe refusing to lend a hand and help people in need. Beautifully understated and presenting its drama between the lines instead of using fireworks and pyro. Heavily dependent on its spot in the running order and what will come before and after but if everything turns out right, it could be France's best placing for many years.

Potential winner:
No, that would be a surprise if so. On a good day it could possibly make its way into top five and become an international radio hit.

My grade: 4/5

GERMANY
Michael Schulte / You Let Me Walk Alone

Another really emotional effort, this time about losing a parent. Is this the Sobral effect, that the ESC suddenly seems to attract singers and songs that sound more sincere after some years of more streamlined music designed for other purposes? Michael Schulte is likeable and has a good voice and knows how to pull on the heartstrings. Unbearable for some, wonderful for others.

Potential winner:
No, hardly. But Germany is maybe not in need of a victory as much as they need to steer clear of that dreaded last place they flirted with so massively for the last few years. That should be mission completed.

My grade: 3/5

ITALY
Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro / Non mi avete fatto niente

As I child I usually struggled to embrace the Italian entries and look at me now. For the third year in a row, Italy is my personal favourite with this very engaging duet about the violence surrounding us all and how everything must still be worthwhile. Meta and Moro deliver for dear life with aggressive conviction and the Sanremo winner illustrates that the Italian team are still very keen of showing how seriously they take their presence in the ESC these days.

Potential winner:
Yes, this one must be in with a chance. A favourable spot in the running order and the points could start ticking in.

My grade: 5/5

SPAIN
Amaia & Alfred / Tu canción

You know it must be a good year when even Spain shaped up. Seriously bitten by the Sobral bug, this updated equivalent of Sergio & Estíbaliz provide a hyper-romantic and soothing ballad about falling in love. Icky sweet and yet adorable unless you are completely immune to young love. A bit old-fashioned and maybe a bit too similar to last year's winner to go all the way but it sure is a great improvement on recent Spanish entries.

Potential winner:
No, unless all the planets and stars line up the right way. This year is so hard to predict anyway.

My grade: 3/5

UNITED KINGDOM
SuRie / Storm

Every time I hear this song my inner vision paints an image of a group of people sitting around a table. They have been told they must write a song together and nobody can eat or sleep or leave until it is ready. So they all put in bits and pieces until they have a melody and a lyric that doesn't mean anything to anyone but still it is a song, so they are free to go. Poor SuRie is a lovely performer and would have deserved something meaningful to sing instead of this bleak and poor songwriting exercise.

Potential winner:
No. Au contraire - this is the most likely candidate for last place in the final. Possible nul-pointer. Who on earth would vote for this? And why?

My grade: 1/5

08. PORTUGAL
Cláudia Pascoal / O jardim

Something clearly clicked into place last year, and Portugal is delivering another piece of something that is totally their own thing. The live vocals and sound mix need improvement from the Portuguese final - compare to the fabulous studio version - but this is a charming and introverted slice of pop. Let's hope Portugal stays on this more contemporary track forever.

Potential winner:
No. RTP can sleep easy. Maybe this song won't even break into the top 15, but who cares? It is a brave effort by a very likeable performer. On home ground you can do what you want - you already won.

My grade: 4/5

So who will be the winner of the 2018 Eurovision Song Contest? No idea. I am avoiding the rehearsal clips as I want as much of a surprise as only possible as the live shows go on air. Ask me again on May 11th, and I will give you my most educated guess.

But a tough battle between the likes of Israel, Czech republic, Italy and France would be nice. Throw in Finland and Sweden for the fun of it. Maybe I am right and Belgium is a dark horse waiting in the wings. And then Alexander Rybak comes in and wins it all?

I have a feeling this will be a very entertaining year. Fasten seatbelts.

Tobson's Big ESC 2017 Review, part 9

In the first eight parts of this series, I made my inventory of the songs that will have to appeal to juries and viewers alike in order to qualify for the big final. Now let's focus the attention on the songs who already got their ticket for the big thing. The Big Five as well as the host country are already granted a place in the final, so the crucial question changes. "Qualifier" turns into "Potential winner" instead. And not that many of them are, in all fairness, but do keep reading...

FRANCE
Alma / Requiem

What joy and what relief it is to see France actually giving a toss about the ESC again. Almost like in the good old days when France was a constant in the top five every year. They sure have the potential to get constant top placings also now, given their most impressive music industry. Surprisingly, however, is that France seems to have done pretty much the same thing as last year: select a really terrific song and have it performed by someone who isn't really good enough to do it justice. Amir was definitely the weak point in last year's package and early live performances suggest Alma isn't quite Maria Callas reborn. The big question here is what the French delegation will manage to build up for us on stage and whether it is impressive enough to overcome any fausses notes.

Potential winner:
In case Italy for some reason would crash and burn - then why not? This is a truly engaging little song with a strong hook and its very own atmosphere. I keep thinking it will end in fourth place but with a bit of luck it could do even better.

My grade: 4/5



Alma / Requiem (France 2017 preview)

GERMANY
Levina / Perfect Life

Germany really got their act together and not only won with Lena but also presented us with some fantastic and pretty edgy pop in this old contest. Then they completely lost their grip in the most spectacular fashion and ended last in the final in the two last contests. If poor Levina would end in last place, that would set a new ESC record. That is hardly what she deserves: she has a bubbly personality and good voice. She even has an OK song. Another one of those songs that will work perfectly on the radio. But this is the ESC and you have three minutes to impress an audience and convince them that you are the best and that they should vote for you. Levina does not have an easy job come May 13th.

Potential winner:
No. For the fourth year running, the German entry is not designed to break through to people on one listening and there is a huge risk that Levina will end in that dreaded last place. If not, she will at least most likely stay in the bottom five. This should be a wake up call for German television, but if they didn't get the message after 2015 or 2016 - what are the odds they will now?

My grade: 2/5



Levina / Perfect Life (Germany 2017 preview)

ITALY
Francesco Gabbani / Occidentali's karma

Here goes. Brace yourselves. Ever since this song won Sanremo and Francesco agreed to be the Italian representative, I have been dead sure that this is our winner. Unlike most national finals, Sanremo focuses on artistry, singing and a pretty old-fashioned approach to showbiz which - I must admit - felt like relief. No added background vocals to cover up for lacking singing skills, demanding compositions instead of complicated dance routines, camera contact instead of special effects. Remove the gorilla and the tiny dancing sequence and "Occidentali's karma" would still be the best entry by a mile this year. And once the formality of winning is out of the way, we will never have to hear the clumsy ESC edit again either.

Potential winner:
Yes! Yes, yes, yes. This must be the one. If there is any justice in the world, the clever and gifted songwriting should battle down all resistance and storm to victory with an Alexander Rybak kind of margin. I sit back and wait for it to happen. Alé!

My grade: 5/5



Francesco Gabbani / Occidentali's karma (Italy 2017 preview)

ESC 2016: And the winner is...

The running order for the grand final got to sink in during the day and tomorrow I will give my final word on how Saturday's show will end. Right now I have no idea. I doubt I will tomorrow either.

But I boiled the whole thing down to six countries that could win tomorrow. Six countries that I'd see as the only realistic contenders for victory. (And one potential super surprise in the making.)

But our winner tomorrow will be one of these:

RUSSIA
Ridiculous to say anything else than Russia being the big hot favourite, the most likely winner tomorrow. And yet my gut feeling tells me Russia is more likely to confirm their position as the new United Kingdom, aka the eternal runner-up. The show is impressive, but not outstanding. Sergey sings well but not perfectly. Critical judges should see through the technical trickery and identify that the song is good but not terrific. However, Russia winning would show once and for all that nobody is doomed on politics alone.

ITALY
I don't give up until I'm defeated. The best song in the running must have a chance of winning, even with a surprisingly bad spot in the running order. On the jury final the people who already liked the song loved Francesca's performance, the people who are not convinced thought it lacked something. Business as usual. If there is any point to having juries at all, they should recognise what a fantastic song this is and reward it heavily.

FRANCE
Not giving up on France either. If Amir turns on that charm he has stashed away somewhere he could collect an impressive number of televotes. It is not juries alone who decide the winner even if Europe will get the idea at first in the final.

UKRAINE
Smashing performance of a difficult but engaging song. It would hardly be the big summer hit of 2016 if it won but at least it would take the focus back to songs, performers and singing skills instead of projections and holograms.

AUSTRALIA
Another stunning vocal and a more hit friendly song. The only letdown is the ridiculous special effect during the second verse that only distracts and doesn't even properly work.

SWEDEN
The last time a country won on home ground was Ireland back in 1994. Wouldn't it be most fitting if Sweden repeated the feat and won their own competition at the same time as going into the lead of countries winning Eurovision?

AUSTRIA (Potential super surprise in the making)
Pink and fluffy and sweet, it dances in on stage not being anything else than what meets the eye. Old-fashioned, likeable, understandable. Normal, if I dare say so, coming after Georgia. It's unlikely but once in a blue moon the sky falls down on our heads.

Watch this space for a more detailed prediction tomorrow. Sleep well, if you can.

Final: France / J'ai cherché

When I first heard the French entry - a day or two before it was officially confirmed - I remember thinking to myself it wasn't anything like what I had expected. It sounded contemporary and fresh. Like a hit. Perhaps even like a winner.

Then I started thinking. We've been here before. I had a flashback to Baku where I was convinced Anggun would be a potential winner until what could possibly qualify as one of the worst stagings ever ruined her chances and left her with a big fat zero in the televote.

I spend my time feeling torn between the hit factor of the song and my fear that the French will mess it up big time again. And at first I had doubts whether Amir would be charming and vibrant enough to pull this off at all.

Potential winner:
Yes. In case everything falls into place regarding singing and performance and if France would be lucky enough to get a good spot in the second half of the running order... Then it could be next stop Paris indeed. But I keep the grade down a bit until I've seen the final performance.

My grade: 4/5



Amir / J'ai cherché (France 2016 preview clip)

December 25: Dani

This is it - Christmas day and the end of this calendar. In Sweden or Finland, yesterday would have been the last entry but I include also the 25th. Because I can. And because I want to share one more jewel that never made it to Eurovision.

Not because it was rejected in any national heat. This one won the internal selection held by French television in 1974 and was all set for going to Brighton and collect a lot of points there.

Then something came between Dani and Brighton. Georges Pompidou, president of the republic, died unexpectedly four days prior to the ESC and was buried on the very day of the final. Not a chance that France would take part. Dani had to unpack her bags and stay at home.

I have often found myself wondering how this one could have changed the history of the contest. Hardly a winner - not direct enough for that, I'd guess - but could it have stolen points off Abba? And would the French jury have preferred the Italian ballad instead? The voting could have been much more of thriller had France made it to the starting line.

The message of the song - there's nothing bad with doing yourself a bit of good - is also a good motto for the holiday and for the new year. Cheers!



Dani / La vie à 25 ans (France 1974 preview)

Finalist: France

Eurovision is a lovely contest in the sense that doing your best can carry a very long way. Tiny nations like Luxembourg and Monaco have won, Iceland and Malta have been very close. Just do your best and you will be rewarded sooner or later.

Or you can do whatever the French think they are doing. I wish I knew how a country with a vibrant and happening music scene could end up internally selecting a song that could just as well have competed forty years ago.

Being one of the Big Five - with a given spot in the final every year - should add a bit of pressure, methinks. It should inspire these countries to use their privilege wisely and send in bold and interesting entries that could push the limits a bit.

The French Ballad doesn't push a single limit. It is pretty and well written. Lisa has a strong voice with a warm timbre that is pleasant to listen to. But it feels like not even she connects with this song.

For crying out loud: she is singing about a village wiped out at war but sounds more like she sings about cotton candy or what dress to wear to the upcoming cocktail party or what kind of sandwich to prepare for her mid-morning snack. Where is the emotion?

Some people say this is the Grand Return of the Big Ballad. I say it is a snoozefest. I say France is about to have yet another dismal result coming their way.

A potential winner?
Definitely not. If this one makes top twenty, the French should celebrate for a week.

My grade: 1/5



Lisa Angell - N'oubliez pas (France 2015)

Runner-up: France 1976

It was a bit unexpected that when the French tv-viewers got free hands to select their entry for The Hague, they went for a fast-paced, merry little singalong with more than a slight echo of Puppet On A String to it.

Through the years it was clear that the UK had pocketed this genre and claimed it as their own. They should do they whimsical up-tempo happy stompers while the French focused more on dramatic ballads about love or death or both, often with quality lyrics rooted in existentialism.

You can accuse "Un deux trois" of being many things, but it's not really existentialist. I doubt Simone de Beauvoir would have deigned to even frown at it. It's very jaunty, very light-hearted and concludes that life is a merry cabaret rather than a story by Kafka. (Maybe Simone would at least have let out a silent sigh at this point anyway?)

Just too bad for France that the UK were at their merriest too this year and beat the French cheerfulness by experience. The following year, France went back to the ballads and won in style. For the last time to date.

A deserved 2nd place?
Certainly. A most likeable timeless classic. But had I been able to shuffle songs around a bit, it would have been beaten by Monaco's fabulous disco belter. And by the Yugoslav heartbreak ballad.



Catherine Ferry - Un deux trois (France 1976)

Runner-up: France 1957

Paule Desjardins has the distinction of being the first ever official runner-up in the Eurovision Song Contest. It is believed that Walter Andres Schwarz ended in second place in Lugano the year before with one of the two German entries, but it has never been officially confirmed.

Paule was a former fashion model that had a short but successful career as a singer before she felt the musical trends change and decided to leave room for a new generation singing rock instead of chanson.

Chanson is exactly what "La belle amour" is - and let us all remember that the original name for the Eurovision Song Contest hinted that chanson was a most suitable genre to enter with.

Just as Paule felt in her musical bone, there would be a big and profound change in light music only a couple of years after this. That's why the first years of the ESC can look like a completely different planet for younger viewers, as it took a few years for pop music to work its way into this family friendly programme.

However, anyone should be able to appreciate "La belle amour" as it is a beautiful timeless piece of chanson, elegantly performed. A child of its time but a most endearing one.

A deserved 2nd place?
Absolutely. No other song in this edition has aged as gracefully as this. Perhaps not quite as personable as the winner, but a most qualified runner-up.



Paule Desjardins - La belle amour (France 1957)

Runner-up: France 1991

1991 got off to a very turbulent start as the Gulf war escalated and Italian television decided to move Eurovision from Sanremo to Rome for security reasons.

The political tension that arose would leave a strong mark on the ESC as well as Israel sent in a seemingly highly political song about a people who made the desert bloom and decided to call it their home.

Also France gave a nod to the conflict (possibly) by selecting Tunisian-born Amina Annabi with a very oriental-flavoured song that could be interpreted as a plea for freedom of speech.

Tunisia had almost taken part in the 1977 Eurovision Song Contest but pulled out after the running order had been established. Morocco had, as the only Arab country to date, taken part in 1980, scoring a modest seven points, placing second last on the night.

Eurovision has seldom been a more hopeful symbol of peace and understanding than when Israel awarded France their twelve points and Amina joined Israeli Duo Datz in a warm hug in the green room.

There was, however, a notable lack of warmth coming from the French delegation once the voting had ended in a tie between them an Sweden and the rules stated Carola to be the winner.

A deserved 2nd place?
Yes. Like so many other bold, original and daring entries it would have deserved to win. But given how juries tended to treat exotic-sounding songs in the past, a second place was not to be sniffed at either.



Amina - Le dernier qui à parlé (France 1991)

Runner-up: France 1990

After winning in 1965 and placing 5th in 1967, French music legend Serge Gainsbourg entered Eurovision a third time, less than a year before his death. True to his own style, and very much like during his previous attempts, he was determined to again push the limits for what you could get away with in this competition.

What he achieved was nothing less than a revolution. In the past, ethnic and exotic entries had been praised for being "genuine" and "real" before getting completely ignored by the juries who left them to crash and burn and the end of the results.

Joëlle Ursull deemed the original title "Black Lolita" unnecessarily provocative, thinking the set-up in itself being rather risky. Never before had a non-white performer been trusted to represent France at Eurovision and Gainsbourg agreed to alter the lyrics.

"White And Black Blues" entered the contest the way a tropical storm would. Not only was it very different but it also felt modern and hit-friendly and the juries almost bought it.

A deserved 2nd place?
Yes. In retrospect it's a bit of a shame that Joëlle Ursull didn't win but at that time, a good placing for a breakaway entry like this was as good as a victory. Also it would broaden people's idea of what kind of song could work at Eurovision, paving the way for a lot of modern, inspiring and successful etno-songs in the years to come.

The video can not be embedded but you can watch it here.

Nobody's favourite but mine, part 2

It seems you good people didn't quite agree with me being the only one to like either of the songs in the first part of this series. Well, I guess I wouldn't be myself if I didn't push my luck and tried to challenge you with five more songs that I sometimes think I'm the only one in the world to care for. Am I?



Gemini - Dai li dou (Portugal 1978)

After a couple of years with serious songs with political undertones, Portugal suddenly decided to send in a wonderfully (annoyingly, according to some) bouncy little song about a kite flying high in the sky. Simple and catchy (or possibly repetitive), performed by another one of these groups of four people, clearly modelled on Abba.

The verses may be a bit clumsy but the chorus is so happy in all its simplicity and the choreography is probably so easy not even I could make a mess of it. Cute.



Cocktail Chic - Européennes (France 1986)

Things weren't exactly running smoothly in France at this point. There had been almost ten years since their last victory and the contest changing hands from TF1 to Antenne2 had resulted in a national final nobody wanted to be part of or associated with. So the best thing they could come up with this year were a bunch of popular backing vocalists who would finally have their big chance of performing as a group.

With styling as impeccable as their vocal delivery (some of those notes are really rather wobbly), the French girls didn't stand a chance during the voting and ended in a pale 17th place while the three other countries singing in French - Belgium, Switzerland and Luxembourg - all made top three.



Gunvor - Lass ihn (Switzerland 1998)

Through the years I have often been better at predicting the last place than picking a winner but this was a nul-pointer I never saw coming. I thought Gunvor had written herself a nice little ditty, perhaps a bit average but still catchy and retainable enough. It even featured Egon Egemann and his white violin, that would surely make an impression?

Despite being up against real non-songs like Spain and Greece, Gunvor somehow managed to cling to her zero points all the way through the voting. Her career, already deeply affected by local scandal newspapers and their shameless publication of pictures and details of some less glamourous aspects of her life, never recovered from this and Gunvor decided to retire from the spotlight. A real shame. And her song wasn't even bad to start with.



Christina Simon - Heute in Jerusalem (Austria 1979)

Eurovision is a circus full of glitter and happiness and more or less obvious attempts at attracting points from all directions. There is nothing wrong with that and I want it to be like that, but it does make it a less suitable arena for people who are actually trying to say something.

Austria thought the final in Jerusalem would be the perfect place to tell the world they would prefer peace instead of war and employed Christina Simon to be their voice in this slow and demanding jazz number. Of course it didn't stand a chance and as Israel and Egypt signed a peace treaty right before the final it even felt less relevant also lyrically. Last place was still really unfair and my question remains the same as ever: what's the point of having juries if they can't recognise quality?



Aleksandra & Konstantin - My Galileo (Belarus 2004)

At first I had no idea how to react to this. Was it really in English? Were those real words? Is it supposed to sound like this? I didn't know what to expect from Belarus in the first place but I most certainly did not expect this. Despite being reluctant at first, it started growing on me with it's odd folksy sound and before Eurovision week in Istanbul was over I had sung this song in front of a small crowd at the Belarusian party and my friend had kissed Aleksandra's feet. A regular day at the Eurovision Song Contest, you know.

Finalist: France

The French music industry is the most successful participant through the history of this contest - no less than ten winning entries are Made in France - and yet it has been 37 years since the last time France won the contest. And they won't win this time around either.



Twin Twin - Moustache (France 2014)

There's nothing wrong with the song and there's nothing really wrong with the group either. This could possibly be a radio hit here and there and the video clip would also deserve a decent amount of airplay. But I have given up on France.

While French tv is renowned for classy camera work and for celebrating the visual aspect of television, French entries have gone from bad to worse in recent years. With the notable exception of Patricia Kaas, most French entries have looked more or less like the chaos theory explained in images.

Moustache sort of has chaos written all over it already in its studio version and would need a carefully groomed and cleverly produced stage performance in order to come across properly to the audience. Not going to happen. Unfortunately.

Potential winner: No. Hopefully it can pick up a few more points than France has recently, but I don't see this making it even close to top ten.

My grade: 3/5

Three candidates for France

France will select its candidate for Copenhagen in an open selection - meaning this is the first time the French public is involved in the selection since 2007.

The selection is not the most ambitious project ever produced, but three acts were chosen to perform one song each on Natasha St-Pier's "Les chansons d'abord" tv-show and now people will have a whole month to vote for their favourite.

One month is a very long time. I'm not sure this was a brilliant move. Either way - these are the songs in the running:



1. DESTAN - Sans toi (Without You)

It has been sixteen years since I lived in France. Already then, every French boyband in existence sounded exactly like this and already then, they loved singing half the lyrics in French, half in English. This entry brings nothing new to the formula and although the boys sing well and are more than capable of carrying a tune, the tune in question never develops or comes to any kind of climax. Pleasant but forgettable.



2. JOANNA - Ma liberté

The second song is also an old-fashioned ballad that could have been an entry in a Belgian or Swiss national final already in the early 90's. It builds a lot better than the first song but Joanna gave a nervous performance and seemed not to be in complete control of her vocals. That does perhaps not bode too well for her chances in a big international event.



3. TWIN TWIN - Moustache

By far the quirkiest and catchiest of the three songs in the running and sending a memorable entry is never a bad idea. Just too bad that the verse bears a stronger resemblance to Stromae's "Papaoutai" than what is really suitable (and in my head, the chorus echoes this classic track by Jordy). You should always be careful how much you can allow yourself to borrow from others, but I guess this is nothing that a quick re-write could not fix.

So who should win, then? The big female ballad always seems to be a strong contender in any national final, but the only one I deem worthy of sending off to any kind of competition is Twin Twin who at least have the oddball factor.

Regardless, I doubt very much that Eurovision 2015 will be held anywhere near Paris.

What about the Big Five?

Yesterday I suggested that it could perhaps be worth considering cutting the number of songs in the ESC final down to 22-24 instead of 26 and I got plenty of feedback on that. Good. Every aspect of the show should be open for discussion.

Quite a few people also voiced the opinion that the Big Five rule should be scrapped: let France, Germany, Italy, Spain and the UK go through the semis like everyone else.

That has always been a touchy subject, ever since the Big Five system was introduced (in 2001, if I remember correctly). There was talk in 1996 how Germany's absence from the final really strained the NRK budget and how hard it would be staging the contest without one or several of the biggest contributors.

I have always seen the Big Five rule as a necessary evil: if that is what it takes for the ESC to go on properly so be it. Especially if the Biggies also show some commitment by contributing strong entries. Which has not always been the case.

But is this rule really needed? When it was created relegation still meant you had to miss the entire contest for a year and the EBU did not want to risk any of the Biggies to be absent. Since 2004 and the introduction of the semis nobody needs to miss a year anyway.

So what is the argument for keeping this outdated system? That the broadcasters in question would be really upset if it changed? That their viewers would never watch a final unless they have their own entry? Well, that is already the situation for everyone else.

Now that the process is underway to scale down the contest and diminish the costs of hosting and organising - will it still be absolutely necessary to keep the Big Five in the contest in order to afford it?

That would certainly be something for the reference group to ponder before the 2014 contest.

2013 prediction: How wrong was I?

Yesterday I had a stab at predicting the outcome of the Eurovision final in Malmö and looking back on it now, I realise I wasn't completely wrong.

Out of 26 countries, 14 placed according to my prediction. Another five found themselves only one placing away from what I predicted. I can live with that. Then there were some spectacular miscalculations, of course.

FRANCE - I liked Amandine's raw and tempestuous performance, but this kind of song is hard to sell to a mainstream audience. I appreciate when people try to break out of the most common formats, but maybe there are limits as to how far you can go without putting people off.

FINLAND - Despite all the publicity and a very energetic appearance, Finland only scored a mere 13 points. None of which from its neighbour countries. Keeping the masses entertained does not automatically mean they will reward you with points.

GERMANY - I felt like I ruined the party for everyone yesterday not thinking Cascada had a chance of surpassing fourth place. In retrospect, my prediction was almost hysterically over-optimistic. Probably the miscalculation of the year.

GEORGIA - The G:son-penned love ballad failed to set the scoreboard on fire this time. While thinking the song and performance deserved more, I'm relieved the cheap trick didn't work out.

MALTA - I didn't think Gianluca would hit home the way he did but I was happy to be wrong. For a while, when he was not too far behind the top scorers, I secretly hoped for Malta to be the unexpected twist that would suddenly collect a bunch of twelvepointers and sail to victory.

IRELAND - I did get a bad feeling during Ryan's performance and thought to myself that this could be the one generic modern pop song too many for the audience, but I never in a million years thought this one would be left in last place. Completely undeserved.

DENMARK - Of course I saw the Danish song as a potential winner, but this is the second year that the biggest favourite wins by quite a comfortable margin. Also, the winner is a very typical safe old-school eurosong, and I would have hoped for the contest to have moved on a bit from that. It would have been so nice with a daring and more original winner. Like Netherlands, like Norway.

But all in all a great show with great songs and some really fine performances. Just possibly maybe I like the songs better than the final result, but you can't have it all, can you?

ESC 2013: who is our winner, then?

Two weeks before the big eurovision final and right before the rehearsals start, I managed to finish my big review of the entries in their preview versions.

At some point somebody asked me in a comment who would get my full five-pointer out of these entries and the answer is that nobody got a rating of five.

No less than thirteen countries (one third of the line-up) got four points out of five possible, and for me that describes this year perfectly. It is a good year with many strong contenders but it lacks those complete standout, runaway victory-type of entries.

Which is arguably a good thing. With a bit of luck we could get a tight, nerve-wracking, intense voting sequence that will keep us in suspense up until the very last country has cast its votes. It has been ten years since we had a voting like that. It would be about time.

What about my thirteen four-pointers then? Well, they can be divided into a number of sub-categories:

Personal favourites

I don't really believe that Estonia, Greece, Hungary or Malta will have any real chance of winning the big final, they just happen to ignite something in me. Nobody would be happier than me if I was wrong but I don't think I am.

The potential surprises

I was there to see Marie N win the 2002 final. I remember the sound of everyone's jaws dropping as Riva won for Yugoslavia in 1989. Sometimes the unlikely will happen and then Finland, Belgium, Ireland or France could break through to the audience in an unexpected way and start collecting points aplenty.

The gourmet entries
Italy's song is perhaps too slow, Norway is too modern and has too sharp edges and the Netherlands sounds more like a classy film soundtrack than a eurovision winner. Don't forget that sometimes quality stands out and wins through despite not being tailor-made for this contest. Think Molitva. Think Yohanna.

The crowd-pleasers

Denmark is the biggest favourite to win and has a most easily accessible formula with its singalong chorus and tin whistle. Ukraine has a very engaging performer and always knows how to tweak the last little drop of entertainment out of their songs.

Conclusion?

Do I have to say something clever to sum this up now? Before any rehearsals have started or anything like that, I will just state that my dream winner - the one I think could be the best choice for the future of the contest - would be Norway, Netherlands or Italy. Sharp edges and hit potential for the win.

Ask me again in a week and I might have changed my mind completely. Bring on the rehearsals.

2013 Finalist: France

Amandine Bourgeois promises to give you all hell on that eurovision stage. I really hope she will. I really hope France will pull this one off.



Amandine Bourgeois - L'enfer et moi (France 2013)

France has been running against the wind for the last couple of years. Every year since 2008 has seen a brave French attempt at bringing something new, something fresh and something exciting to this old song contest without much success. Only Patricia Kaas managed a top ten finish with her chanson deluxe in Moscow.

Given the family viewing nature of this show, the 2013 French entry is almost shockingly dark - suggesting some rather kinky exercises in love as well as a palpable punishment for heartbreakers. In the clip, Amandine is providing her scariest look and crazy eyes as well as a poisoned sensuality of a most intriguing sort.

Personally, I think this is ace. It's lethal, it's hypnotic and it's addictive. But then I see a number of problems as well.

The song takes a while to fully unfold itself. The last minute - where the marching boots come on and Amandine truly howls her chorus - is very strong, but will the audience stick around long enough to notice? The people voting at eurovision are not exactly renowned for their patience.

What will this look like on stage? With the exception of Patricia Kaas, most French acts have been a mess on stage and puzzled the viewers enough to miss out on points aplenty. Will they manage to keep it clean and clever this time?

Is it too dark? I'm sure the juries will approve but what will the televoting masses make of this?

Potential winner:
No. It is too demanding and too gourmet to win, but hopefully it can at least improve the French statistics a bit.

My grade: 4/5

The French are no strangers to bringing a dark mood and an acerbic lyric to Eurovision - their 1967 entry is perhaps the most bitter reaction to a love story gone wrong through ESC history. Even darker than Amandine's attempt.



Noëlle Cordier - Il doit faire beau là-bas (France 1967)

Tobson's Ranking: #8 France

This was the entry that was supposed to bring France back to the top positions, where they belong. Instead they did what the French have done too many times recently. They messed up.



Anggun - Echo (You and I) (France 2012)

This song was a brave choice - it was modern, original and not as direct as most songs achieving eurovision success. Clearly it needed a strong performance to back it up, but it had potential to be a good surprise on the night.

Instead we had a show that was ambitious but messy on-screen. Too many things are happening and there is no logical red thread for the viewers to follow, neither does the camera work ever allow the viewers to establish any kind of contact with the singer who remains a stranger throughout most of the song.

With the precious exception of Patricia Kaas, recent French entries have usually worked badly visually at Eurovision for the last ten years or so. It is surprising to see that French television, who has a very strong culture of making television visually appealing, never seem to pull off the ever so important visual aspect of the Eurovision Song Contest.

To make things even worse, Anggun - one of the most experienced performers in the final - did not live up to expectations or the level she had set during rehearsals and sang badly. Had the televoters had full power, she would have been left without a single point.

The song deserves much more than that. Even with a messy performance and a dismal vocal delivery it is still one of the most interesting entries of the year. I hope French television will stay on their ambitious path, but maybe try to deliver a more distinct and accessible show for next year.

My grade: 4/5

Sweden is one of the Big Ones

Loreen virtually crushed all competition in the grand final in Baku and scored an almost Rybak-esque victory with "Euphoria". You all know this, of course. I am virtually warming the blog up again after my absence.

The victory, however, means that Sweden is back on the throne after thirteen years of yearning for the grand title. SVT has done their best to win the ESC, but despite having arguably the most ambitious of all national finals Sweden has struggled to make an impression.

At the same time, Swedish songwriters are being more successful than ever producing tracks for singers all over the world, making the national pop export one of the most impressive ones in the world. This was not least represented at this year's ESC where ten countries had Swedish songwriters - all of which made it to the final.

This fifth victory is only logical as it firmly places Sweden as one of the most successful countries in Eurovision. Equal to France and United Kingdom, only Ireland has won more times.

It would make sense now if Sweden decided to put in overdrive and start aiming for the top spot. "Euphoria" was an example of how easily everything can fall into place and come together - with some more songwriting as distinct and daring, it is a very possible prospect that Sweden will grow into being what France and the UK respectively were in the past: a veritable pop factory that collects top placings on a steady basis.

So are you ready, Sweden? I challenge you to have the record number of victories in ten years time. You need two more to equal the score, three more to be sole King of the Hill.

Having a hungry and determined Sweden hunting for victories year after year could do the contest lots of good, especially if the songs also have hit potential and inspire other countries to follow in the same tracks.

A lot of good can come out of this victory, indeed.



Loreen - Euphoria (Sweden 2012)