Tobson speaks up: ESC 2023, semi 1

 

It's almost upon us, the 67th edition of the Eurovision Song Contest. This year hosted jointly by last year's winner and last year's runner-up: Ukraine gets to add flavour while the UK takes care of the actual hosting.

The contest has shrunk a bit and the number of entries is the lowest since Copenhagen 2014, but the countries that did show up have given us a pretty diverse and updated lineup.

Soon the rehearsals will start in Liverpool and distort our first impressions with footage and clips and soundbites of varying quality, so before that: here are my reviews of the songs as they are in their preview versions as well as the ten songs I would pick for the final if I got it my way.

01. NORWAY Alessandra / Queen of the Kings
This is a pretty great opener but also an odd choice by the producer. This is clearly one of the favourites and it is unusual to throw one of those out there already at the start of the show. For me, this is a catchy little number that easily gets stuck in your head but it is more of a cool beat than a really good song. Something about it makes me think of "Boten Anna" but maybe that's just me. Solid but maybe not the winner candidate many consider it to be.
Grade: 3/5

02. MALTA The Busker / Dance (Our Own Party)
Malta ditched the international songwriters and went for a local tune at long last. Clearly the right decision and in my opinion this is Malta's best entry in a very long time. Best since Claudette Pace? It has a cool groove and a joyful relative of the Epic Sax Guy. The only warning sign here is the disastrously low energy shown by the lead singer in the national final. Get that sorted and this could be a pleasant surprise.
Grade: 3/5

03. SERBIA Luke Black / Samo mi se spava

The first semi opens in style with several really strong entries and Serbia stays on the same track as last year: avantgarde and pushing limits of what a eurosong could sound and look like. Luke himself is very easy to like and the song is oddly captivating and hypnotic. The warning sign here is the slightly dark, messy and unfocused national final performance. Luke Black coming after Konstrakta is very similar to Justs coming after Aminata: not less enjoyable but less likely to score heavily.

Grade: 3/5

04. LATVIA Sudden Lights / Aijā

Latvia hasn't been in the final since 2016 but here we we find ourselves with the Latvia entry being a real dark horse: intense, claustrophobic, almost intrusive and with a clever climax as the soft-rocker turns into a lullaby by the end. Would need more camera contact in Liverpool and is far from a sure fire finalist, but it's very much a personal favourite of mine and I'd love for it to make it through.

Grade: 4/5

05. PORTUGAL Mimicat / Ai coração

This semi final is not slowing down and this is another firm favourite of mine: explosive, sexy and funny with a very vibrant performer being in complete control of her own show. Doesn't look or sound like anyone else in this semi and I'm here for every last drop of it. Exquisite.

Grade: 4/5

06. IRELAND Wild Youth / We Are One

Wild? Pedestrian, rather. After five really strong entries in a row I suppose we should all be very thankful to Ireland giving us a moment to breathe and refill our snacks and drinks. But seriously, when will the Irish get their act together again? Is this really the best they can come up with? Not bad as in terrible but bad as in genuinely disinteresting from the first note to the last.

Grade: 1/5

07. CROATIA Let 3 / Mama ŠČ!

Perhaps Ireland isn't terrible but Croatia has every intention to be and are really rolling out their heavy guns. This punk rocker about dictators buying tractors for each other is about as subtle as a horde of elephants in a glass shop. If it is good or not is beside the point: the Croatians are here to get noticed and remembered. Mission accomplished.

Grade: 3/5

08. SWITZERLAND Remo Forrer / Watergun

My first impression of this: nice young man with a nice ballad. Repeated listenings unfortunately made the song grow off me surprisingly quickly, not least thanks to the meek lyrics. My best advice to all songwriters: if you want to write a song about where when there is a war going on really nearby, maybe you should articulate an opinion stronger than "war is kinda bad I suppose". 

Grade: 1/5

09. ISRAEL Noa Kirel / Unicorn

Not so much a song, more like various bits and pieces thrown together in order to make space for a nice stage performance. Mind you, I like a few of the individual bits and bobs but it doesn't fully gel for me. In the end, I prefer solid songs to slick performances (if I can't have both). Chanel has a lot to answer for.

Grade: 2/5

10. MOLDOVA Pasha Parfeni / Soarele și luna

Pasha is back with a piece of folklore in Romanian, complete with the flute of last year's winner. Easy to enjoy for the moment with a few effective hooks but then it begins to wear thing surprisingly fast. Would have need something by the end to elevate it a bit further.

Grade: 3/5

11. SWEDEN Loreen / Tattoo 

It has been a risky business for winners to return to the ESC in the last two decades or so but Loreen is hardly taking any chances. This is beautifully crafted to remind the viewer of "Euphoria" without running the risk of feeling like a copycat. Highly engaging but would benefit from a slightly stripped down performance, allowing Loreen to focus a bit more on her actual singing, but that is a mere detail as this is one of the obvious potential winners this year.

Grade: 5/5

12. AZERBAIJAN TuralTuranX / Tell Me More

For the first time since their debut in 2008, Azerbaijan enters a fully local product instead of buying something from abroad. About time, so I really wish I could like this more. On the plus side, it's a breezy and careful little number with the clearest Beatles-vibe of all songs on their way to Liverpool but unfortunately nothing much happens for three minutes. Every time the song almost goes somewhere it instantly loses its way again. I also have to deduct points for that really annoying "quack quack" sound in the arrangement. Sorry, lads.

Grade: 1/5

13. CZECHIA Vesna / My Sister's Crown

The third entry of the night with clear political undertones (the fourth if you count Latvia) is an engaging song that sounds excellent in its studio cut but less convincing in its national final form. If they can improve the overall impression, this could be one of the better Czech showings to date.

Grade: 3/5

14. NETHERLANDS Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper / Burning Daylight

The real thriller of the first semi will be this moment when a well-crafted but demanding song will meet a couple of not so fine-tuned vocal chords to perform it. The selection of Mia and Dion has created quite a stir back home but all that matters is what it sounds like on the night. Heaven help the Dutch because this song would always need luck to break through in a competition that is televote only.

Grade: 3/5

15. FINLAND Käärijä / Cha Cha Cha

"Finland being one of the top contenders of winning the ESC with a song in Finnish" was not on my bingo card when the season begun but here we are. Finland's pop scene is full of brilliantly creative madcaps and finally that is fully on display also in this contest. A wild blend of rock and techno that descends into a solid schlager chorus, complete with a mesmerising performance you just can't look away from. Hard Bop Hallelujah.

Grade: 5/5

Completely disregarding who sang badly in their national finals or in various fan events, the ten songs I would personally pick for the final out of this bunch are (in order of appearence): Norway, Malta, Serbia, Latvia, Portugal, Moldova, Sweden, Czechia, Netherlands and Finland. These are all songs I genuinely enjoy listening to but I would not mind if Croatia made the cut either.

This is, however, my personal taste and not a prediction. What ten songs would you select?