A Swede who lives in Finland and who is lost in Euroland - the wonderful world of Eurovision
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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Finalist: Denmark

The time has come - at the very end of this presentation of songs - to make myself impossible in this year's home country. Sorry to say it, but however I twist and turn this one it doesn't look good from any angle.

Basim - Cliché Love Song (Denmark 2014)

In a year full of ballads and midtempo anything as happy and clappy as this is likely to get a whole bunch of points in the end but this is really no dream winner in my book. Let me try and explain why.

Being silly is not a problem, I'm never averse to silly songs, but this cheerfulness feels fake and plastic. Basim isn't much of a singer and even less of a dancer and the whole thing is as a groovy as an old Soviet cement mixer.

Also, the stereotype lyrics really get to me. This pretty average guy sees the most beautiful girl in the world and decides he will have her, assuming she is just up for grabs, that she'll just be happy for the attention. And he only wants her for her great looks, this isn't an ode to her personality or intelligence or anything. Haven't we heard that enough times already? Really?

I just wonder what happened to Denmark? They used to be the kings of quirk at Eurovision, and this song desperately wants to be quirky, but it is just square, flat and stupidly heteronormative.

And catchy, I'll give it that.

Potential winner: On a really bad day, yes. It will perform as number 23 in a field of 26 songs and will have massive home support. I also have a sneaky feeling DR could put ballads around it in order to make it stand out more. But for now I will pretend like this isn't going to happen.

My grade: 2/5

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